Blog 9-15-11

by Larry Strattner

This blog thing obviously isn't working out. Unlike the banana brains walking around constantly talking on smartphones, or texting, or sending blubber to facebook, or tweets to Kim Kardashian, it appears I do not have anything nonstop to say that cannot wait another day, or week, or even year.

I have come to suspect the ability to blog involves a heavy suspension of disbelief of any limits to one's intelligence quotient, since to comment even semi-cogently on everything, all the time, requires the knowledge of say, Sir Encl Britannica or Mr. Merriam Webster. Or like that. Which I don't have, even though, after a few rums on the rocks I might be willing to debate said point.

Speaking of debate, I saw where Glen Beck wrote another book.  I don't like Glen Beck but he's written more books than I have, so there's that.

I was talking to a friend about publishing a book I wrote and he said if I did I should create a facebook page and open a twitter account to ‘get some buzz going.' I can't even manage to post more than one picture at a time on facebook and my take on twitter is no one who twitters can read. 

I may publish the fucking book anyway and sell it at NASCAR races. They don't read there either except maybe for some numbers, but my book has pictures and lots of swear words. I'll bet Glen Beck sells his books at NASCAR races, and probably at mud wrestling matches.

Anyhow, my idea of a blog was a running commentary on items of import and interest resulting in a buildup of readership and eventually stardom. I have obviously fallen short on these goals, ephemeral though they may be. So I plan to turn my attention to the vile, slanderous and scatological novel I have been working on with my friend Tom. An early reviewer called it ‘sophomoric' which, if you've been reading anything lately, indicates it may become a best seller. I almost have to go to the emergency room for sexual excitement that will not dissipate when someone calls me 'sophomoric.'

None of my attempted blogs have been pre-written, edited, spell checked then posted. I wrote them all in the little box here and pushed the ‘enter' key. I must admit that is fun so I well may be tempted to do it again. Since my only reader comment has come from me generating sophomoric content I will be trying to gin up more of same which my girlfriend Wanda says should not be hard for me.