by John Olson
The first punch sent me flying into a Christmas tree. The second put me on the floor on my hands and knees, blood dripping from my nose. I tumbled outside, caught a train to North Dakota, and went to college. I listened to Bob Dylan. I went to California. I got high on LSD. I flew apart on LSD. I reassembled myself. I went north to Seattle. I worked at Boeing. Boeing was dark and boring. I quit Boeing. I went back to California. I lived in a bus. I got called to the army induction center to go fight in Vietnam. I told them I was gay. They let me go. I went north to Humboldt County. Everything smelled like burning wood. I watched the bottoms of clouds burn red with sawmill smoke. I consorted with Wordsworth, Keats, and Shakespeare. I inoculated myself with Blake. I lived in a trailer in back of a Mexican restaurant. I lived in a hotel. I went to San Jose one summer. I met a woman. I got married. I got divorced.
I went north again to Seattle. I got a job in a hospital. I rode up and down on an elevator. I delivered IV stands, surgical trays, anti-embolism stockings, diabetes socks, cervical pillows, catheters, exam gloves, commodes, consultation coats and spin hematocrits. I quit that job and got another job in a mailroom. I ran mail, sorted mail, weighed mail, maneuvered mail, threw mail, shuffled mail, delivered mail, collected mail, traced mail, dispersed, disposed, and processed mail. I did this for 19 years. I began to hate mail. I got drunk a lot. I met a woman in the mailroom. I got married to the woman I met in the mailroom. I got divorced from the woman I met in the mailroom. The woman in the mailroom kicked me out of the house and began life with a Guatemalan who liked gardening.
I continued to work in the mailroom but began to live my life elsewhere. Existence is elsewhere.
I quit working in the mailroom. I met a woman who writes poetry. This made everything in life easier. Easier to be alive. We got married at the top of a hotel with all our friends. We rode pintos to the moon.
One day I noticed I was still living and so made room for another paragraph. I had room for a paragraph but nothing to put in it yet. And so the paragraph is not quite yet a separate thing from my life. It is a membranous organ. It is amorphous and void. I am free to invent whatever I want to put in it. Sometimes this fills me with panic. But then I sit down to eat a doughnut. Calm returns. I sip some coffee. I eat a banana. I eat an orange. I find a paring knife in the drawer and peel away the upper and lower poles of the orange. Then I make slices. Lacerations from pole to pole. Juice comes out. My fingers get wet. I peel the skin away. I separate the juicy chunks of orange and eat them. This could be a paragraph in the process of acquiring a text. This could be a life. The life of a man eating an orange. The life of a man finishing an orange and cleaning a plate. The life of a man staring at a plate. The life of a man wondering what to do next.
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I was so exhilarated by the opening paragraphs of Robert B. Parker's Appaloosa in which Everett Hitch's life is covered in about four paragraphs, I thought I'd try it as autobiography.
i've recently entered my fifth paragraph.
I like this.
I'm very interested in this character! If there's more, I would happily read it.
While I don't think the style could go on for much longer, the character and story are well shaped and intriguing. Nice!
This is interesting and well done. A tiny (big) suggestion, if you don't mind: Consider putting this in 3rd person, which I believe would make it very dramatic.
Just a thought...
I love this. I love frenetic things. I love the mailroom best. I might cut the last line and end staring at the plate. I can hear this in third person, too, but I like all the I.
Enjoyed this piece. I like it.
great first line. i'm a big fan of this.
Lots of great lines. Enjoyed it.
What a fabulous exercise you did! I am totally captured by this narrator. I loved it in first person. The immediacy is just great. The plain language, no fuss, no frills, works just wonderfully.
"I met a woman who writes poetry. This made everything in life easier. Easier to be alive. "
Great line.
Especially loved the last paragraph - the sense of the future, yet pared down to a man eating an orange. *
I am left wondering if I could write my own autobiography in 4 paragraphs too!
I like the voice in this. There's a definite frantic edge to it, created by writing well-crafted basic sentence after basic sentence. Well done!
i love this, particularly the last paragraph. brilliant ending.
Hi John -- Great to find you on this site! I'm just getting my feet wet and you are obviously an old... well since it's wet, let's go ahead and mix the metaphor... hand. This is a knockout little tale. How come I never read this before? Or have I and I'm forgetful enough not to remember this stunner? Is it in any of your books? Seems like it should be, and if not, use it in the next in lieu of a bio or something. Brilliant work! And leave it in the first person, don't for God's sake excise the last line, don't touch a thing, and listen to any criticism and/or suggestions with a quiet smirk.
hi Willie, This piece is included in Larynx Galaxy, which I look forward to reading outloud this Wednesday. Thank you for your generous remarks! Nice to see you here. Fictionaut is cool. Far more satisfying than Facebook. I usuallly just get brain farts on Facebook. I should call it Fecalbook.
"One day I noticed I was still living and so made room for another paragraph." Great title, form , and poetics in here. *
Hot potato, gray duck, swerve, COMP, sales. *
This is what I get for visiting the archives: Brain-spin. Great piece, great conception. Formally akin to Robert Coover's great, " Going for a Beer." But different too. I liked the itemizing of tasks in the hospital setting.