What Literary Rejection Letters Would Mean In The Real World

REJECTION OF WRITING SUBMISSION

Dear Writer,

Thank you for sending the work below.  After considering it, we're sorry to say that it does not fit with our current needs.

We wish you the best of luck submitting it elsewhere.

If you've sent us other work, separately, we'll respond to each submission individually.

We ask for your patience with these form messages, as it is part of a system that ensures every submission gets considered separately, and anonymously.

Sincerely,

The Editors 

REJECTION OF YOUR VERY SOUL

Dear Person I'm No Longer In Love With,

Thank you for the brief use of your body, mind, and general emotions. After considering it, I'm sorry to say that what you have to offer does not fit with my current needs.

I wish you the best of luck submitting your body, mind, or slightly neurotic personality elsewhere.

If you try and contact me, I will reject each of your attempts individually.

I ask for your patience with this form message, as it is part of a system that ensures

every submissive ex lover is considered separately, since I am involved in a lot of anonymous sex.

Sincerely,

You're Ugly And Nobody Likes You