by Deborah Oster Pannell

I want you close
I want to feel you
inside me,
softening me until
my borders are blurred
and I'm hardly breathing,
my heart swelling
so big it
brings me to my knees,
I want to know the
pain of losing you
each time you
close your eyes and
go to sleep and
dream of someone else,
I want to laugh deeply
at some joke you told me
just when I thought
you were going to kiss me,
I want to know why
I want you so badly,
and I want you to
want me so badly,
and I just want to want…
I don't want to say goodbye,
I want your arms around
me, holding me tight, just when
I'm kicking and screaming the most…