The air-conditioned window contained
some China blue sky and mostly green
overlapping trees. The wind rushed around
and around my heart. One single leaf
fluttered continuously more than
the others and caught my attention,
more than the made-up white cloud face smirking
behind it all, or the little
speckled bird I was sure must be turning
his head side to side in there somewhere.
It wasn't a broken scene, none of
it was, just kind of multi-layered,
like a lemon yellow cake, or a
perfect piece of film art. The room I
was sitting in didn't feel good or
unkind, it just didn't cause me to
feel anything enticing, like the
circus tents of waving trees with their
beckoning sky flags outside. I wanted
to run away to join that circus
as soon as possible. The plastic
frame had six hard-edged eyes that reflected
nothing back to me, but gray
metal and bright fluorescence. Nobody
tells you what to do about the
cold loneliness associated
with waiting to be seen and heard. The
oblivious trees made no sound in
creaking protest, but I heard them bending
and growing in my head space
anyway. Later, winding the car
towards home, I laughed at my own tears.