Say What
Jane says to Roy, “What are you doing, Roy?”
“Fuck off, Jane, I'm reading,” says Roy.
“Well you could have just said so.”
“I did.”
“I mean just without—”
“Yeah, well fuck off anyway.”
“I've had coffee with the bike-shop guy three times now.”
“Newsflash.”
“He asked me to do the Tri-County tour with him.”
“Don't pull a hamstring.”
“It's four days.”
“Eat your Wheaties, then.”
“As his roommate. In a motel,” says Jane. “IN HIS BED, ROY.”
“Get a life, Jane.”
“I'm trying.”
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Author's Note
I just found this, forgotten, in a file. I was trying to see how minimal I could get. Get away with?
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Love anything that makes me chuckle.
I like this. I like the way the dialogue tells a whole story of a relationship. Nicely done.
Concise, effective piece, Catherine.
Thanks you, and for reading & responding. The chuckle is prized, James. Susan, good to hear the story does reveal, hard for me to assess, as I 'see' more than what I've allowed, and can't be sure if it's only because I 'know.' I usually write long, Bill. so this is a stretch, and your comment encourages me to play more with swift strokes. Thank you three!
“Newsflash.”
Favorite line.
BUT. Roy'll be sorry because Jane is funnier.
Thank you for reading and remarking, James. (Never thought of it this way, re relative funniness.) Yeah, he'll be sorry, all right.
Catherine, I think this works for sure! Note to Jane: Kick Roy in the nuts.
lol, D'Arcy. And thanks.
Your minimal works!
I love dialogue poems. Well done.
Thank you, Cherise and Matthew, for reading - and I appreciate the feedback!
Poor both of them, sounds a lot like what a lot of women have been saying/doing lately.
It's crisp and sad and funny, too
Susan Tepper stirred this from the archives. The voices are so clear they are clairvoyant. *