SantaBot, Can You Hear Me?
by Catherine Davis
Mimi: I'm Mimi, nice to meet you. I would like a secretary, please.
Santa: No thanks, but you may send me a donation.
Mimi: Huh? Let's not get ahead of ourselves, all due respect. Okay, okay... So, no sec'y, hm? Okay, then what abt a housekeeper?
Santa: A houskeeper? I haven't heard enough abt these houskeeper to have an opinion.
Mimi: Hey, Funny Claus! I'm guessing U maybe need to get 1 by Dec 25!
Santa: Me? Thank you for your criticism.
Mimi: Yuh-uh. Moving on: cook is next on my list. Cook, huh? Yeah? What say you to that, big boy?
Santa: Yeah okay, when is cook not next on his/her list? That's an interesting question. “You to that big boy?” I'll come back to that in one minute. <br/>
Mimi: Don't tell me you are running outta those already! Getting kinda concerned about my list here, Santa.
Santa: Sure, his or her list here sounds like a good topic.
Mimi: Yeah, so relieved to know we're back on the same page. Now this list is a 'HER' list, & I want a HE, see item number four. Please, that is. Pretty pretty, please.
Santa: Um, That is just your personal opinion. Thank you for your request. Is that so. Your polite style is very nice, eh?
Mimi: Yes, it's a personal opinion, very intimate factors come into play here. So! Doing good, huh? Does this mean I might just get that BF for Christmas? Hm, hm, hm??? Oh, that' d be ONE BIG score!
Santa: I can't tell you that, but you would have to be very fast & very good! A score a score score is a terrible thing to waste.
Mimi: Amen to that! I am nice. Oh! Very, very nice! Ask anyone. Er, except for the friend reading that last story...
Santa: Let me be the judge of that. Thanks, Mimi. My readers are not avail right now, would you like to wait? Take a #?
Mimi: Santa, I am so down with taking a number, but I really can't have you reading that particular story.
Santa: That's me. Why can't you have me reading that story, being so particular?
Mimi: Um, your elves don't happen to have access to my computer, do they?
Santa: Er, Is that a fact.
Mimi: Are you saying it IS A FACT???? Be right back - I have to wipe my drive!
Santa: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear? OK I will try to be right back - I have to wipe my drive too.
Mimi: Are you writing dubious stories, Santa?
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
Mimi: Whew. So just forget that remark. I was sweating it there for a sec.
Santa: Do you have any conditions I should know about? Where were you sweating it there for a sec?
Mimi: Oh my god, here in Tupulo. Please tell me you have my correct address. So hate when the BF ends up at the wrong address, know what I'm saying? And it was only a figure of speech.
Santa: Yeah that's right. I do not understand that allusion. Interesting. Oh I get it. Very interesting.
Mimi: Though we have no reindeer here, so not so interesting as all that.
Santa: Umm. This we. Do you mean you and me?
Mimi: Well, I am ASSUMING you do!
Santa: Interesting. When do I do it? Don't assume anything.
Mimi: Santa, crack hasn't made it to the North Pole, has it?
Santa: That's me. What happened to it?
Mimi: No! No! No! I can't handle this break-neck dismantlement of my last illusions. Not to mention my chances!
Santa: Can I help you? Can I help you? Can I help you? Do robots have illusions are being stripped from me?
Mimi: Can I speak to your Deputy Elf, please?
Santa: Your polite style is very nice. Why do you want to do speak to your Deputy Elf so much?
Mimi: Your Elf, I'm hoping. I need what I need, Santa. The short list, okay?
Santa: Who would you usually get that from? I have never heard about The Short List, okay?
Mimi: Exactly. That's why I'd like a word with the Elf!
Santa: You and I are on the same wavelength, Mimi. Um, You want only one?
Mimi: One of each, yes: sec'y, housekeeper, cook, BF. Check-plus times 4!
Santa: One what? Makes sense to me.
Mimi: Right. Let's call this deal sealed, and I will have the cookies and milk waiting on Dec 24, 11:59 P
Santa: I am glad we agree. I would like to do that too. Thank you very much, human. What are you wearing?
Mimi: Listen, just stay focussed on arrival by 1 A with the goods or your milk is going sour. Not a happy treat. Toodles, Claus. You're the best!
Santa: I will tell bored.com you said so.