How to Take a Meeting, for the Woman Who Fell to Earth

by Catherine Davis

1) be awake

2) wear clothes

1a) get out of bed

a1) go to bed the night before

6) put a smile on her face, but not too smiley

6a) maintain precisely calculated level of irony and derision in a just kidding (not kidding!) manner suited to responses of the enemy

6aia) normal words, normal order

10) see the (shiny, juicy) apple. be the (shiny, juicy) apple.

10a) -est, the -est.

?) 1 am is a construction that occurs in the past and will recur in her future, ad infinitum, ad nauseum, ad infinitum. this hypothetical construction is irrelevant to the context and the urge to obsess over it must be repressed

11, 11a,b,c) OMIT

12) yawn

12a) pretend to hide the yawn

12b) (see # 1)

13) Om...