by Alison Wells
Use the fire escape Cathy
Or the front door
Its fricking perishing
On the moor
The double glazing salesman had me
At u-values
And I value u, u know I do
But I got those integrated lock thingies
That stop the windows being jimmied
Hang on there a tick
While I get my slippers
Don't want my feet slapping on the cold stairs
Like flapping kippers
You look like Helena Bonham Carter
In that rig out
Quit your tapping woman
There's no need to shout
That Bronte woman had me painted like Eminem's Stan
Or a droog from Kubrick
These fluffy puppy slippers
Suggest another rubric
I'll just nip down and get the burglar alarm deactivated
Cos when u and I are parted I just hate it
I heart u Cathy, I always will do
The pain just grabs me, stabs me
Like a kind of voodoo
What's the code again? Bugger
A few more deadlocks, dreadlocks maybe
Just a jiffy I'll be there for you.
Can't wait, Your Heathcliff, baby
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This first appeared on the Year Zero website
anti-love *
The charms of the counter-charming
Haven't seen a droog reference in ages. Utterly charmed here.
If men had been smart, they'd have spent less time surpressing Marx and Engels and concentrated their efforts in putting a lid on the Brontes.
Oh, they do love their bad boys, they do, but only when they're eyeless in Gaza, all cucumber and hooves, but on a very, very short leash.
Oh, mankind, beware the Brontes, beware!
Anything that references "A Clockwork Orange" gets a fav from me.
Clever. And so many zou zou references. Loved it.
Thanks a mill for your comments!
Snark and more snark - it cuts to the quick. Fantastic, Alison.
I love that word 'snark.'