by A. Pseudonym
I had imagined what it must be like
out there in the middle place
where in daytime nothing is
what it must be like at night:
there, far from my bed,
maybe something moves
Move
for rocks in the dark
and calling crows alone
in the empty midnight field
will stay your legs if you stop
Stagger to the trees
for through them is your house
though in them is the wild dog who
is small enough to be kicked away
but runs in livid packs
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Ominy. Is that a word? The noun form of "ominous"? That's what I'm going for.
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I like this, but consider beginning with stanza three! It's a good beginning and "runs in livid packs" is an even strong end than what you have now.
Anyway, good poem.
I like what you’re doing here, and I especially like this notion of “middle place.” It’s all true! :)
Bill, that's a good idea! I'll work with it.
Thanks Kari. "Middle" is such a full word, I think.
Bill, I changed it per your suggestion, and you're right, much improved (except the formatting screwed up for some reason). Thanks again - such a simple suggestion.