Pictures of an Inhibition

by A. Pseudonym

Her eyelids purse as the suggestion gains support with the group. A result of the energy required to feign agreement. The tensile force of the hunkering mind manifesting in the body's most expressive extremities. Small folds of skin around her knuckles constricting. The arms adopting a pose betrayed elsewhere, by the legs unbent at the knee or an angle of the neck not quite right. A studied failure of the body to move as a one thing. The brain cannot control every aspect of the impression, so the phenomenon fragments. The breaks imprint their fractals on the noting eyes. No one is deceived, but they pretend to be. She feels the disquiet of assumption as knowledge.

She walks hands in pockets chewing gum in a rhythm and rationalizing. Formulating and deploying comments as the banter dictates, but caught out of its flow too often. When this happens she looks down and regathers the threads and spends a moment in wish and regret. Barely keeping up. They near the place too soon. She wonders who to be inside. Considers what postures will indicate ease. Voices enthusiasm and holds the door for the others. They are eager. She encourages them.

Fun times. Deep breath.