If you were looking for her
She's in the backwoods
grafting your skin
from her thighs,
smoking green leaves
that smell like sandalwood
and haste
putting beads on the string
she unraveled from her thumb,
where you were smothered,
where you were broken.
If you need her she's
Piecing her brain back with glue,
each fragment a little grayer, blacker
than before.
She's
Walking the thin tightrope
with platform shoes
and weighted ankles.
She's
in those backwoods
leaving tiny little words
like breadcrumbs
so you can find her.
So she can breathe.
0
favs |
916 views
2 comments |
96 words
All rights reserved. |
I am thinking of shopping this piece, but I would like to know what I can do to improve it.
Good poem, Tiffany.
Suggestions?
Lose all the capital letters.
"grafting your skin
from her thighs"
I don't get this image. Is "grafting..."from" what you really want here?
"smoking green leaves
that smell like sandalwood
and haste"
Nice!
Thank you Bill. Yes, grafting is what I want there. Almost like her and her lover were so intertwined, she is doing a skin graft to remove the memory of his flesh from her skin. I hoped that had come across.