Urban Skunks

by Steven Gowin

When you walk dogs at night, watch out for urban skunks.

For urban skunks want to visit your neighborhood and want to be bold in your neighborhood. They want to walk right up to you and dare you to threaten them so they can spin around and squirt you a measure of skunk juice.

But stupid dogs, like my dogs, the ugly one and the simple one, do not distinguish a kitty hiding under a car from an urban skunk. They only want to chase small animals. They do not care about what skunks can do to them; the chasing instinct has broken their smellers. But I do not hate Skunks.

A skunk has soul and will root out a bastard rat and eat its rat pups. Sometimes I see a rat when I walk dogs at night. Rats are filthy, and their teeth never stop growing. So I want a skunk over a rat any day. Go skunks! Kill rats; kill their wives and rat children, and stuff what you can not eat down their rat holes for their cannibal brethren. Then go kill more of the bastards.

When you walk dogs at night, watch out for urban skunks but do not fear them. Urban skunks are our friends.