YMCA
by S.H. Gall
As a boy I swam like a girl. Flopping around like cuts of meat.
I swam well as a girl. My water wings floated just enough to keep me from drowning. The swim instructor had golden hair. I got embarrassed, my swim suit grew.
In the locker room I saw Jeff's big third-grade cock. I knew he would never be lonely. Looking down, I saw that I would never be lonely either. But not with Jeff.
I washed the chlorine from my eyes with tears of mistaken promise.
Good night, swim instructor.
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Author's Note
Disenchanted with the quality of work here, I present this story written in three minutes and seventeen seconds. It's bad, really bad. You'll love it! I promise.
Other stories by S.H. Gall
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You may have missed a word. Hello Evelyn Wood.
Good dump though.
"You'll love it. I promise." Wow. By that I assume I'm supposed to say how bad this is. I do like paragraph three, SH.
I'm sorry you're disenchanted FN. There are good pieces posted here, weak pieces, middle of the pack work. It's all here - if you read long enough.
Sam - my problem specifically is that many pieces which are considered "good" here are, in reality, very weak. A lot of the "most faved" pieces would be ridiculed by most freshman comp classes. It's unfathomable to me!
Larry - your comment has drifted over my head. Evelyn Wood? Missed a word? Help!
SH, I liked para 2. Sorry you're disenchanted with fn. Like Sam said. Plus it's not like this is a peer-reviewed shop. I sense folks post their wip and already-pubbed pieces, and save their 'best' for bonafide pub outlets. hope you stick around anyway. peace...
Linda - Yeah, I'll stick around. There's plenty of quality work here, and I have a lot of contacts. I seem to have contrarian taste in writing, is what it boils down to. But of course, I always have. ;)
I liked this a lot.
When I read it a few days ago, I didn't comment at the outset; your Author's Note was a nice deterrent.
But I think this is a really interesting succinct little story about early awareness of sex, sexuality and attraction.
The missing word: "be" as in, I saw I would never BE lonely.
Like all of life, there is great, good, middling, poor. But what is great about fictionaut is that people read and comment on the works of others, coming, for the most part, from a good place.
Oh, right, "be" lonely. DER! Can't remember if I did that on purpose though, given the intent of the piece. Anyway, Cherise, I swear I tried to make this suck. I think the last line is stupid and no one has "golden" hair. Oh well.