Free Space
by Paula Ray
He was burnt toast with cataracts. She was a coffee stained napkin with arthritis. They met at Bingo when they both had a false alarm. The winner was some kid from Ohio or Oklahoma -- one of those states that begins with an "O" and ends with a yawn.
She liked the fuzz on his kiwi-skull. He liked the sound of her polyester pantlegs rubbing together like hands trying to keep warm.
He got so distracted by the friction, he turned off his hearing aids. She thought he was deaf or disinterested, but he read her lips and caught the fireflies in her smile with his bifocals.
Neither one of them was looking for a mate -- they just wanted a glimpse of unloneliness: a hand-me-down sweater with a tiny hole under one arm and an extra button sewn to the underside of the waistband.
He said his name was Tom, short for Tomorrow, may I call you?
She thought he was lying and it was for Tom-Cat -- pawing fishbones.
She wrote her name on the back of a losing Bingo card.
He said her name, Myra, under his breath. It was as quiet and warm as oatmeal in his mouth on a cold morning and he hadn't eaten in days.
He said it aloud and her cheeks filled with cinnamon.
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Author's Note
This micro-fiction first appeared in Litsnack 1/16/2010
Other stories by Paula Ray
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s'nice, Paula
Beautiful bunch of metaphors and similes here that warm up the scenario. It reads like poetry. Nice!
Love it. Love it.
He said his name was Tom, short for Tomorrow"!
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This is just one delightful line after another. The whole thing is a great, fun read. I loved this: "The winner was some kid from Ohio or Oklahoma -- one of those states that begins with an "O" and ends with a yawn."
This is such a good read, Paula. Enjoyed.
Favorites:
"She thought he was lying and it was for Tom-Cat -- pawing fishbones.
She wrote her name on the back of a losing Bingo card."
Superb! Every word and every phrase so beautifully turned out. One of the best pieces I've read in quite a while. So glad I found it. Can I fave it twice??
This one bubbles with playful charm. Layers of sweetness and subtlety, and just a whiff of the void we all face in our declining years. Captivating!
Today, I received a rejection from a zine I have been trying to get into for two years. I was quite down about another "we're going to pass on this story." Then...I come here and find all these encouraging words and I'm reminded in a big loud voice: "you weren't rejected - your piece just wasn't the right fit for that zine - somewhere, your words will fit - stay true to yourself."
I really needed that reminder today - Thank you, friends. We each have a unique voice and I'm honored that you took the time to hear mine, and I'm thrilled that you liked it.
It's sort of like having someone who loves you - kiss your booboo and make it all better.
Ooooh. Beautiful language here, Paula. Creative and just really, well...Beautiful.
begins with an "O" and ends with a yawn.
He said it aloud and her cheeks filled with cinnamon
Gorgeous story, just amazing work
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Thank you so much, Michael and Susan.
Love this. So good. Big big fav.