The United Church of Cigarettes
by Michael Seidel
The   building they got was the litter of the local diocese—abandoned as part   of some settlement. Previously they'd been located in a strip mall,   before that a closed bank with the drive-through teller's box   re-imagined as a pulpit.They all pitched in with bottles of polish,   moved brushes around. The Archbishop with a Polak slap of vowel at the   end of his name had demanded to take the pews, so they brought folding   chairs salvaged from alleys all over town. 
It   happens once a week. Sundays, 10 a.m., just west of here. They pause at   the stoups set about the entrance to pick up a cigarette or more. 
The   church echoes as the leader strikes his lighter. The response is a   hundred more, each parishioner taking their own. From there, it is an   hour of sizzling, the backfire of more being lit. Most keep their eyes   closed. Some look up at the cloud covering the kneeling ecclesiastical   trash perched high. Others look around, overly warm.
Ashes   are treated like almsgivings and the ushers stretch out with their   collection baskets. Everyone taps at least twice, then returns to their   lips.
There is quiet. And there is more quiet.
An   hour or so later, the first person gets up. The leader this time   around, Heck, the Indian from Longfeathers, is startled awake, his   button-down grayed from the doze. He strains his face, butts out, then   put his hands up, moves one over the other, like climbing a mountain or   closing a curtain. There's volume, smiles. Everyone is explaining their   week, complaining, raving. They walk slowly to the exit, my family and   my boss and my kid dog dinner and the electric company, the news the   radio news the tv news. Heck meets them at the door.  
The February air feels like a freezing hand placed upon their lungs. There's something rooting around inside them.
