The words you are known by: To Mitt Romney on the eve of his national convention, a cento

by Michael Parker

I should tell my story. 

No one has ever asked to see 
my birth certificate. They know 
this is the place we were born -- in
an America where millions 
of Americans believe in 
an America that is 
the America millions 
of Americans believe in. 

"Oh beautiful for spacious skies
for amber waves of grain"
sing it with me
"for purple mountains majesty
above the fruited plains."

I'm also unemployed. I wondered 
whether I was going to get a pink slip.
I get speaker's fees from time to time, 
but not very much. Ann drives a couple 
of Cadillacs, actually. I've got a lot 
of good friends -- the owner 
of the Miami Dolphins and 
the New York Jets. For 25 years, 
I lived and breathed jobs, 
business, and the economy.
I had successes and failures, 
but each step of the way, 
I'll take a lot of credit 
for this industry's come back.

I'm not a business.
Corporations are people, 
my friend…[and] banks 
aren't bad people. 
I like to fire people. 
I'm not concerned about 
the very poor. You are 
paying all the taxes
creating all the jobs
raising all the children.

If they want more stuff, 
tell them to go vote 
for the other guy — 
more free stuff.

I'll tell you what, Rick, 
ten-thousand bucks?
[But] let Detroit go 
bankrupt. I'm running 
for office for Pete's sake, 
we can't have illegals. 
The answer is self-
deportation, which is people 
decide they can do better 
by going home.

Who let the dogs out? 
Who? who? who?

He says we need more firemen, 
more policemen, more teachers. 
Did he not get the message 
of Wisconsin? It's time to stop 
the spread of government 
dependency and fight it 
like the poison that it is.

Planned Parenthood? 
We're going to get rid of it.
Borrow money, if you have to,
from your parents. It's just not
worth moving heaven and earth, 
spending billions of dollars 
trying to catch one person.

That's the position I've had 
for some time
and I don't 
intend to make
any adjustments 
at this point
Or ever.

It's hard to know how well it will turn out --
sperm and egg unite, something goes
from inanimate to animate;
the trees are the right height
the grass is the right color
and the skies are cloudy 
all day. I saw my father 
march with Martin Luther King.
I have learned from Olympic 
experience [so] I stand 
ready to lead us down 
a different path. It's time for 
us to cut back on government, 
look at what the president's done
and do the opposite.

You can't learn that 
teaching Constitutional 
law. I'm not familiar 
with what I said, but 
I'll stand by what I said, 
whatever it was.

[Now] if you want to speak, 
you can speak. 
But not right now, 
it's my turn.