Missed Connection

by Michael J. Solender

Place: Under Ten Item Quick Check at the Piggly Wiggly, First Street Market, 7:30 p.m. Saturday.

You: Henna eggplant hair, pulled up, Green Day First-ever Tour T-Shirt, Silver stud nose-ring, Birkenstock sandals; Your basket had two Lean Cuisines, Asian Cranberry Chicken and Thai Style Noodles, 4 pack of Starbucks Frappachinos, Rice cakes and a Pepperidge Farm Coconut Cake.

Me: Short, dark three-day beard, Jerry Garcia T-shirt, Target Flip-flops; Basket had Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition, six pack of Bud-light, Slim-Jim mega pack and Pork rinds.

You said it looked like I could use some dietary counseling and rolled your eyes. I was too tired to be a smart-ass and just smirked. If you'd like to offer advice in person, reply here.