Twilight, Nov. 07, 05:50am
by Lola E.
Light spreads its way
across the sky like a
drop of ink
on dry cotton sheets:
starts at one point
and expands
as wind shuffles
over bodies, seas
hoist your sails
and I'll throw this one
over
the night can have it
now
hear the waves
how they seem satisfied
with their hour's catch
and the dawn smells
so strongly
of copper
and of iron ore
the clouds
are flowers, hyacinths
to be touched lightly, caressed
by your delicate fingers
Written 2017, November 07
05:50 am
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Ahoy! Especially love those first two lines.
I meant stanzas :)
Thanks, Mathew.
the clouds
are flowers, hyacinths
Lovely.
"the clouds
are flowers, hyacinths
to be touched lightly, caressed
by your delicate fingers"
A perfect closing.
The short lines throughout the piece create a steady rhythm. I especially like the shift mid-poem to the one word/line, the first in the two middle couplets. Effective. This anchors the poem for me.
Good work.
I enjoyed this one today.