Alias
--Originally published in Sleep. Snort. Fuck.
I can tell you all about rock bottom. I've choked on the gravel of
rock bottom. Hell, cop it up to fucking rock bottom. And I liked it. I
liked it so much that I let it fuck my brains out for years, and here
I am: its gang-bang on a leash and all its glory. Or maybe faking a
fetish for rock bottom is a shitload easier than taking ownership and
clawing away from it.
I thought rock bottom struck about a little over a year ago, when I
had a substance-addicted ex-con with a court-recognized anger
management problem slapping me around in an insufferable relationship,
when I was fleeing to another state, scraping the bottom of a CD made
up of twenty-five years' worth of birthday cards because no one would
hire me, not even Starbucks—yeah, I was that desperate for work. But I
know now how that was just a type of rock bottom, because rock bottoms
change with the scenery, they come and go, then they'll hunt you down,
and never let up, just like the perfect mind-fucking manipulative
boyfriend.
rock bottom. Hell, cop it up to fucking rock bottom. And I liked it. I
liked it so much that I let it fuck my brains out for years, and here
I am: its gang-bang on a leash and all its glory. Or maybe faking a
fetish for rock bottom is a shitload easier than taking ownership and
clawing away from it.
I thought rock bottom struck about a little over a year ago, when I
had a substance-addicted ex-con with a court-recognized anger
management problem slapping me around in an insufferable relationship,
when I was fleeing to another state, scraping the bottom of a CD made
up of twenty-five years' worth of birthday cards because no one would
hire me, not even Starbucks—yeah, I was that desperate for work. But I
know now how that was just a type of rock bottom, because rock bottoms
change with the scenery, they come and go, then they'll hunt you down,
and never let up, just like the perfect mind-fucking manipulative
boyfriend.
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Author's Note
When I saw that Eminem/Rhianna video for the first time I remember thinking, "wow, it is so much hotter and cooler when people like Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan are fighting, and Eminem and Rhianna are singing in the background, than all of that is in real life."
Other stories by Lavinia Ludlow
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This is a GREAT piece, Lavinia. So raw and powerful and full of rhythm and imagery. Your music background is very evident here as well. Really good.
I've read many stories that take on the topic of a "rock bottom" scenario and you've managed this one with a honed voice that is consistent throughout. Too often, writers, myself included, take on this topic and think the topic alone will carry the story. It's always about the voice. This is a win in my book.
thank you gentlemen!
The voice in this is relentless in the best way possible. It haunts me, doesn't let me go for a split-second. Great word choices, and POV is fantastic. Like a whirl-a-gig ride coming loose at Six Flaggs. Strapped in. BAM!
Oh, the rock bottom fetish... we all have it until we're there, at which point we're too miserable/wasted to acknowledge it. Good stuff.
Strong and unapologetic piece, really like the voice here.
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