Journey of Thade

1.     Spirit broken, Thade remained imprisoned. Everything he had strived for-lost forever. His world was shattered...

     Expressionless eyes stared out. His mind raged. "What will they do to me?"      
Trembling hands pushed the hair back from his face.     
"Will they leave me here to die?"    
 Slowly he rose. The armor-once regal, beautiful-was disheveled. Broken. Bloody.     
"I have been betrayed!" his mind screamed.     
His head snapped back as his fists raged against the glass barrier... The inevitable had hit home.     
"N-n-o-o-o...!!"     
A rage so profound ignited deep inside sending him reeling violently into the glass with powerful force.     
 The savage instinct for survival overwhelmed revealing a snarling, growling beast; beating and pounding on the impenetrable glass in a desperate attempt at shattering it.    
 Stumbling back, logic filtered into the confusion. He was trapped in this cage and there was no escape.     
"Let me out!" He shrieked.    
 Every nerve in his body began to short-circuit and he began to shake.     In a state of denial, Thade threw his body into the glass with such vengeance, the repercussion slammed him to the floor leaving him dazed and shaken, his head swimming from the blow.     
 Curling into a tight ball and wrapping his long arms about himself...blackness.    
 His eyes rolled up in his head. His body writhed from seizures.                                     
                                                        
     "I will die here." It came like a warm breeze. The first thought that entered his mind when he came to.     
A low groan of pain escaped. A surrendering kind of sound one makes upon seeing their world collapse in all of its red raging glory.    
 Fear gripped tightly and he shuddered. He could not move - paralyzed by the haunting conclusion whispering in his ear; "Yes... you will die here..."     
Such a welcoming tone.    
 Thade embraced the warmth which accompanied the decision. Closing his eyes, he waited, and the truth that his death was nigh washed over him.      
Taking in a deep breath, he let it seep out in a wheeze.      
This hell hole was his prison and his tomb. He passed out, giving in to his plight.     
Letting go, Thade slipped into deep repose. There would be no physical escape from here...     
There was no more prison. No more tomb. No more anything. Just darkness still and thick.     
He had done this to himself. But would there be restitution for him after his demise? How would he be remembered, as a traitor or warrior?     
It did not matter, now. The fever would burn his brain up in a matter of days consuming any rationality left to his thought process.     
   His heartbeat slowed taking him deeper, sinking him into an abyss void of noise, sense of touch, tucking its blackness around him as a blanket in winter.     
There was no more prison. Or tomb. There was no more anything. Just darkness still and thick.     
Time no longer existed.     
Pain no longer existed.     
NOTHING was what existed and it was welcomed with quiet abandon.

                                            
     Kneeling next to the seemingless lifeless body, touching his chest, listening for life-sounds, another had entered the chamber where he lay dying for so many days. His skin was hot. Roiling.    
Unaware of a journey he had made for a very elaborate hallucination, Thade was rescued from the place. Far into the forest. Away from the desert. Away from Calima. Away from those who had placed him there...       
His armor was stripped along with the torn and bloody mail beneath it, leaving him naked and vulnerable. Finely woven linens were draped over him chilling his burning body.     
Soft cool hands bathed the fevered brow. Stroked his hair.      
Arms held him firmly, safely when siezure tore through him. Embracing him in its regression. Forgiving when the froth of vomit drooled from his mouth, cleansing his face.     
These hands applied rich oils to his skin, massaging it into his temples, across his forehead, erasing the war-torn lines creasing his face like a road map, to relax his furrowed brow.

  2

     Death-like slumber enveloped him -- held him hostage, yet the hands worked to cool him.     
Drops of water were placed on his tongue, its wetness sliding down his throat extinguishing the fire that burned there. Smells of rich oils aroused his senses and for the first time in many days Thade dreamed. Or at least he thought he had.     
The angel touched him. Its ethereal voice echoed in his ears, calling him back from the throes of death.     
This figment seemed to fade in and out of his dream, their fluid robes flowing about feet which did not seem to touch the floor. And the strong scent of Mihr...He had not smelled it since childhood.     
     Under the influence of such a high fever his brain offered no logical explanation,but instead, presented the delusion that the vision was that of his mother whom he had never known.He called out to her begging she return...          
Thade drifted deeper. He was slipping away. Shadows, shifting ever closer like heavy thunderheads, were taking over his dream-state.     Hovering.     
Waiting for the death rattle.

     Icy chills coursed down his spine, and still, he felt the cool water on his head as his body was covered warmly.

                                         
     She clasped her fingers together tightly as she knelt, an ardent request for guidance beseeched; "please, help us..."     
"I cannot break his fever. I fear he is dying. What can I do?"     
     Silently she waited.Perhaps the gods had heard her prayer. A prayer so heart-felt they could not ignore the appeal.     
     From behind closed eyes she could tell the sun was setting behind the trees, casting shadows across the ground in long fingers, reaching out to grasp the last rays as they filtered through the canopy. Barn swallows took flight from their high-hidden nests swooping for the insects as they crawled over the dewy undergrowth.     
     Lips moved with inaudible words; the plea,repeated over and over like a rosary to Omnipresent forces.     
     "Wisdom will come to me." she said on a sigh.

                                            
     Before the last glimmer of day faded, lamps were lit softly filling the main room with golden light, casting the walls in a pastel honey glow. A comfortable atmosphere, simply decorated, consisting of a sofa, a suspended wicker chair, and a beautifully carved table positioned before the sofa. Under foot a rattan rug stretched. Odd finds and artifacts, from days-gone-by, nestled inside of a tall curio that stood prominently beside the door.     
     To the other side of the room a dining table filled the center surrounded by six chairs; all pieces carrying the same carving as the sofa table depicting twisting vines dripping with grape clusters.     
     Pictures, depicting dreamy, far away vistas and lazy blue rivers, capturing a place from the past, hung in a row. A time when it was peaceful and calm...     
     Now the house itself was not a house at all, but an ancient redwood measuring a thousand feet in circumference. Despite the fact that it was hollowed out it remained alive blending in so well with its surroundings that there was never any threat of being detected by the apes -- if they ever had reason to venture out that far.     
     It was this solitary life she chose. One did not get hurt if there was no one to inflict the pain. However if there was ever a request for her assistance -- be it man or ape, she always went to them, never seeking anything in return except that she be left alone and that they not attempt to convince her to live among others of her species. To her, there was no "other species".     
"You are so vulnerable out there," The "folks" would lament. "We worry about you."     
     "I'm fine."  She would assure, giving a gentle kiss to the aged cheek. "I will come when you need me here."     
  She would walk into the forest, vanishing into the flora.                             
                                        
     With lamp in hand, she made her way back to the bedroom where the wounded soldier lay. Creeping to his bedside she gazed down on the simian. He was so still, for a moment she thought he had died. Resting her hand on his chest she felt it rise exhaustively.     
      "At least he is still alive."    
      He felt the touch. Somewhere deep within he was relieved to know someone was there, and that he still breathed.      
     She released a long-held breath of relief.Placing the back of her hand to his cheek she felt the fever.   
     Frustration furrowed her brow as she shook her head. "Why can't I break it?!"     
     She hurried for more cloths and began packing the soldier under his arms, to the nape of his neck, behind his knees, and to his kidneys; ice-cold well water, soaking his body to keep his brain from burning up. Sweat dripped from the tip of her chin as she recycled the cloths; warm for cold, warm for cold.  Her back ached from bending over him. She was ready to drop. Taking a chair from the dining table she positioned it at his bedside and worked diligently from the pail of water between her feet.       
     "Come back," she said, wiping his palid face. "Don't let this get you. Hear me. Follow my voice."     
     Studying him, she had come to the conclusion that he was of the utmost importance. The cut of his auborn hair, the groomed goatee which encircled his pale lips. Even in this poor of condition he held an air of authority. Looking over at the armor -- so beautifully gilded in pure gold of two simians poised in battle; it was a promise of severe punishment unto any and all humans crossing his beliefs.     
     It spoke of a warrior.     
     Perhaps, even, a ruler.     
     Her fingers glided over the broken armor, sinking deeply into the gashes criss-crossing the breast-plate, taking liberty of the gold once embossed there.     
     Destroying it...     
     Destroying a legacy...     
     "Why...?" She pondered.     
     Why had he ended up imprisoned in such a place?   
     What could he have done to cause someone to be so cruel as to allow another to perish in such a way?
     She smiled sadly. It did not matter now. Getting him well did.

  3                                 

     Thunder rumbled across the sky waking her with a start as lightning stabbed among the clouds. Hearing the wind picking up she did not remember dozing off -- sprawling forward in the chair pulled closely to the bedside, her arms stretched protectively across the soldiers chest.
     Great gusts rattled the shutters, whistling their arrival through the cracks that to enter was no option.
     As she rose to secure the shutters, he called out desperately. It was another night-terror. She had grown used to them. For many sleepless nights she sat next to him bathing his brow, offering up gentle words of reassurance that he was not alone. That someone was there.
    His face contorted in rage as he screamed at the demons behind his closed eyes, swinging out physically at the phantoms only to recoil as if under attack -- shielding his face -- begging mercifully for them to leave him.
    Compassion drew her to his side. To simply ease his tense brow, offer words to let him know the demons were not real...
    "You're safe. Hear my voice and know you are alright." She stroked his cheek with the back of her hand. "I'm here."
    Taking his arms down from his face, she held his hands. "I'm real. Feel my touch."
     Her breath sung over his face as he felt himself lift from the blackness. His face relaxed as if in a contented smile and she slipped her hands free. "I have something for you."
     Spinning from her seat she went to the window. The shutters flapped incessantly before she leaned into them unlatching the eye-hook and allowing the burst of wind to enter. Returning to the ape's side she pulled the linens from him allowing the cool air upon him. Gossamer netting, which surrounded the bed sailed and billowed over his body, caressing his skin, sending sensations making him twitch. She pulled the mosquito net away exposing the soldier to the rush of air, and she watched the heat rise off of him.
     The storm grew in intensity pelting the tree tops, sending wind chimes, somewhere outside the window, into a tempest symphony -- a terrestrial rhythm anxiously conveying its distress to the forest. For a moment she watched the lightning through the breaks in the canopy; the thunder, so furious, shook the objects on her dresser.
     This was a good one, she thought. Returning to her patient she took his hand while observing him for any sign that he had received any relief. His fever had dropped some thanks to the storm, and she sank wearily into her chair. That was when she felt -- or at least thought she had -- a slight squeeze.
    Was he aware that he was not alone in his nightmare? She leaned into his face.
    "Can you hear me?"
    He suddenly grasped hold of her hand in a most desperate way.      He was fighting back...
    Weakly, though...

                                                                    

     Another week had passed and Thade's fever still lingered refusing all efforts to break it. For short durations, it would drop only to return with seizures, nosebleeds, and bouts of nausea, evoking, in his caregiver, a great concern that, in fact, infection coursed in his blood, and if it was not intercepted now he would have no chance of recovery.
     She paced in frustration, stopping only long enough to replace the warm cloths with fresh cool ones. Smoothing the towel across his forehead she realized how sick he really was, how it was beginning to show in his features. Her lips went paper thin in a grimace. "Hang on." In the dark, he glowed an eerie paleness while dark circles, from sunken eyes, grew ever more prevalent. Breaking into a sweat one moment only to be freezing in the next, he was dying.
    Almost sobbing, she fell across the body. "Don't die on me. It will come, I know it will. Just hold on."
    She barely heard his heart beat resting her head there to listen. He hadn't made a move since that one time, and his bodily functions were going to start shutting down in a matter of days if she didn't...
    In that instant she had awakened to an antidote. To save his life she would have to administer something that could very well end it. Herbs such as Foxglove,Goldenbough, and Aaron's Rod which had proven fatal if given incorrectly could kill him instantly. But there was nothing else she could do except try it -- cautiously...
    Another storm was approaching rapidly as herbs, roots, and berries were gathered. Thunder threatened when she grabbed one last handful before bolting for the tree-abode.
     Grinding the botanicals with a mortar and pestle, a most acrid odor was released causing her to lean back in disgust. It smelled like a barn yard just after a summer rain. She added to it some Meade creating a tincture which in turn created a sort of "shoot and cringe" reaction; the wine disguising, little if any, of the bitter antioxidant.
     Harsh, bitter flavors filled his mouth. He could not protest when it burned his tongue, making him sick to his stomach when he swallowed. It passed his pallet too often, it seemed, as the potion was fed to him day and night. Drop by drop.
    Oh these tortuous demons! Locked deep in his prison he cried for redemption as tears streamed down his cheeks, proclaiming he had changed his ways, his ideals, and how he had learned from his misdeeds; all slurred and mumbling before falling just above a whimper when she laid her hands on him, petting the down of his forehead.
    "You're safe, now." hushed.
     Sensing the caress his brow rose in surrender, relaxing in his struggle against the nightmare. The voice,soothing and so much more powerful than his antagonists,charged into the blackness that was holding him hostage,driving his demons back to hell empty-handed.
    Thade tossed and turned. His head turned from one side to the other as if he were looking at someone or "some-thing".
    "Death...?" he called feverishly. "Where are we going?"  
    In a voice as clear as a bell, he said, "Please, do not return me there."
     Shaking her head, she turned to him. His eyes were open, yet only blank expressionless orbs stared making her jump.The very essence of his plea broke her heart to see this once proud warrior broken down to a dispirited wretch.  "no," she promised softly. "you will never go back there."
    He stared through her before a deep sigh escaped.
    "Rest now."
    He obeyed the voice...
    He slept...

                                 

     Morning brought the sound of thunder to his ears as it pressed on through endless grey sky.
     He opened sandy feeling eyes, feeling like he had only dozed off, weary from studying his maps. Things were out of place, though. The sheers billowing about the bed threw him. He felt sore and parts of him burned, especially his left shoulder, but for the life of him he could not recall what the hell had happened.
    Not yet.
    Vision clearing, Thade realized that he was not in familiar surroundings,which only aided his confusion; adding a touch of disorientation to taste. The bed he rested in was not his or anyone elses he had romped in. The articles around him were alien. Nothing was recognizable when his eyes fell upon something new -- gawking uncomfortably about. Chewing nervously at the inside of his cheek, Thade tried to move. He was so weak that if he were to stand he knew he would not get far. He felt the fine linens under his hands covering him. Upon lifting them he discovered they were all that were.
    Exasperated, he brought his hands to his face, releasing a low frazzled groan, and rubbed his eyes. There was no grate of sandpaper-like roughness against his eyelids. Befuddled, he brought his hands down before his swollen eyes. They appeared to have been manicured. Not looking this good in years. Running his hand along his jaw-line, it had been shaven and his goatee neatly trimmed. Only his cracked lower lip flawed the smoothness.
    "How long have I...?" He spoke aloud, his query interrupted by movement in the doorway.
    He could not make out just who or what stood but it appeared that they were just as unsure of him as he was of them.
    He tilted his head quizzically as his eyes narrowed. "Why do you linger among the shadows?" he rasped. "Let me see you."
    Cast in the grey of the day, she entered cautiously moving slowly so as not to startle her now awakened guest. Thade followed them with steely-eyed precision noticing how this form seemed to flow along -- that they were of the female persuasion.
    "Such a tiny thing." His thoughts relayed.
    The curve of her hip nor the way this stranger carried themselves was not what captured the General's attention. It was the cascade of raven-black hair which fell almost to her knees. The breeze through the open window floated strands about her like blythe spirits, mesmerizing him.
    "Was this the one who saved my life...!? This waif...!?"
    Closer, and more pensive in her steps, she came, clutching her robe when she passed the window, yet still allowing a glimpse of the form beneath, moving lithely into the light of the lamp. Hypnotized, Thade awaited expectantly, raising his head to peer down his muzzle once they appeared, catching the rich earthy scent of botanical oils as they wafted heavily into his nostrils. He was prepared to give his thanks to the simian, but like a kick in the stomach, he discovered his savior to be what he least expected...

    A human.
    His body tensed. This had caught him completely off guard. A dangerously fierce growl came from his chest; a warning for her to keep away.
    "Who are you?!" He snarled, the black rings around his eyes worsening.
     Smiling gently, she leaned into the glow of the lamp, a sweet expression beaming down on him. "Don't you remember?"
    "Don't come any closer!" The warning was adamant. Distrusting her immediately, watching her with the deep-seeded loathing for what she was. He made a sudden upward motion with his head as if in a half-nod, then tilted it to one side releasing a belittling snort of disgust.
    Startled by his crass aversion, she lowered her gaze, her eyes saddened. "I understand now." She said.
    Looking back to him she came face-to-face with a snarling mask of fangs. "How did I get here?!"
    He scared her speechless. All she could do was shake her head in disbelief. The words, though simple, were lodged in her throat. His deep resentment burrowed under her skin when he glared from beneath his heavy brow, watching her every move diligently.
    He smelled her fear. Yet it was not the usual pungent odor of sweat and piss that commonly assaulted him. Hers came as a whisper -- rich and sweet. Though her scent did not displease, he leered at her suspiciously. In her throat Thade heard the rattle of words forcing their way up, breaking just above a whisper; "I brought you here." Her voice wavering just on the verge of tears.
    In a movement as natural as breathing, she then reached out and wiped at a bead of sweat breaking on his brow; "You were hurt..."  she disclosed, catching the perspiration on her fingertip. Long hot fingers coiled around her hand like a snake. His reflexes, so swift, she could not withdraw fast enough. He tightened his grip, drawing her down until she was but a breath away from his own face. Terror flashed in her eyes as another resonant growl ascended.
    "How long have I been here...?" His deadly gaze bore into her, leaving her at his mercy, if it existed in him at all.
     Feeling her tremble delighted him, arousing the knowledge that he could induce such fear. He smiled to himself over it, and with each passing second his grip grew tighter. If she did not answer soon he was going to break every bone in her hand...
     "TELL ME...!!!"
     Whether he had succeeded in scaring it out of her or hurting it out, she began to cry as he twisted her wrist, his nails digging into her forearm, cutting like four blades as he glared malevolently, demanding his question be answered now.
    She could not breathe. Her head swam. With all she had, she forced the words out with a scream. "THREE WEEKS...!" she blurted. "You've been here for three weeks!"
    Thade looked as if he had been struck. Three weeks?! She felt his grip loosen, saw the stupified expression was over his face.
    Jerking away suddenly, Thade's nails drug through the soft flesh of her forearm leaving a trail of bloody tracks in their wake.
 She backed away quickly toppling the chair as she wiped at angry tears.  "You are a beast!" She scorned.
    Thade searched himself, then suddenly swung his head to her. "Do not ever touch me!" He hissed, black, emotionless sockets stabbed at her, reflecting his hatred.
     "I brought no harm to you." She repealed, trying desperately to hide hurt feelings.
     Thade sensed her genuine bereavment and for a split second felt for her. He saw the blood on her arm. Taking in a deep breath he perceived,possibly, that he could almost feel sorry for doing what he did.
     Turning toward the door, she stopped there and turned to him. "It is obvious my work is done." Then she walked out, her head down, visibly disheartened by his reaction.
    Although he did not trust her, or any human for that matter, she had peaked Thade's curiosity. This was no ordinary human he was dealing with. Even in his blind rage, he realized, when he caught sight of her for the first time, there was something unusual here. For she was clean and well groomed, and to his surprise, civilized. Nonetheless, he did not hold much confidence in her. She had to be up to something. Still, to find out more about her purged. Maybe if he discovered who she was and why she had done what she did, by freeing him and healing him, he could find closure. It would have to wait. The exertion from the brief struggle had left him suddenly weak and sleepy. His eyelids grew heavy as sleep descended upon him, detaching him from the real world once more...

     Separated by only a curtain, she sat in her chair pondering over the dilemma, quite shaken from the attack. The compassion she once held for the chimp-soldier had been dashed to bits, leaving her bitter while she examined her twisted wrist, turning it gingerly back and forth, watching the bruises develop along the trail of deep gouges along her arm. After nursing him back to health, only to have him lash out at her so viciously, she felt betrayed. However, she knew she had to approach him again in order to help him fully recover. With that in mind and calm discernment, she nodded in agreement. Get him well then send him on his way. Goodbye    He awoke to find his meal waiting and a note on how to take the tincture she had prepared. At first, he wouldn't touch a thing but when he began feeling weaker, there was an understanding. Eat, take your medicine, rest, or die. Period. It went on like this for days; while he slept, she came and brought fresh water and fruit, slid pillows out from under him to change the cases, then just left him be. Maybe once in a while she left a book. But he did not want to read! He wanted to talk! But she was sly. It was like she knew when he was really sleeping and when he was simply trying to catch her there. The boredom was terrible and he soon lost interest in eating. All he wanted to do was sleep. His actions had gotten him in trouble again, and it felt as bad as being locked up back in Calima.
     Vivid dreams filled with violence and madness hurled Thade back into the chamber; the glass barrier coming down with a thunderous roar. His will to survive was on the brink of collapse as he pointed the gun at his own head. Click, click, click... His cries fell on deaf ears as they stood like statues and watched him self-destruct. All of it came crashing down on him: the loss of his dignity, the rejection from his peers. He couldn't even kill himself!
    It all surfaced on his face. A furrowed brow, the whimpers stirring from deep within, along with inaudible words best kept that way. The nightmare demons had him tossing and turning again. Then, the angel appeared -- releasing him, taking his hand to lead him back.
    Thade's eyes opened abruptly, very much aware that another presence was in the room. That she was watching him. Sitting right there next to the bed. He turned over suddenly and their eyes locked.
     "Why did you release me?" His voice, cold and demanding was etched with the nightmare.
     The dark pools did not avert this time. She challenged him, looked straight into him.
 "I couldn't leave you."
    Skepticism danced across Thade's face. "You felt pty!" He scoffed, rolling his eyes away.
    She lowered her head. "Yes."
    Thade's cold, untrusting heart had met its match with soft, emphatic understanding. He could not pull away easily, denying what confronted him, what he purposefully fought to ignore... Her profound compassion for all living things. A quality he was unaccustomed to when dealing with her species.
     Scrutinizing her, studying the shape of her, she was unlike any human he had yet to come across.     "I feel for you." Her soft spoken words captured him. He stared, unable to take his eyes off of her.
     Her hand reached out then stopped short heeding the previous warning.
    "Forgive me," and she folded her hands on her lap. "I have touched you so many times that it is difficult, now, not to."
    Thade observed her smugly. In the back of his memory, it was her hands that had soothed him. She was a human, but not of the usual breed of female; the man-like amazons that could take on the strongest gorilla troops or the wyliest of chimps. This one was tiny! Fragile. With soft cool healing hands.
     He must have been wearing some kind of expression of submission, for when he awoke from his little day-dream, she was smiling at him. Quickly, he scowled at his reasoning and at her.
    "You were unjustly accused..."
    The words froze him.
     Closing her eyes, she shook her head and said, "You only did what you thought was right." Thade was extremely taken aback by the words. It reflected in his expression, changing from total distrust to utter disbelief that she knew what had transpired. For certainly she was not there to witness the battle! He would have taken down this elf swiftly!     He closed his eyes tightly; "how does she know of this?" Her words rang in his ears: "You only did what you thought was right..." It left him isolated. Tears of anger and frustration fought to come burning their way to the surface.
     "I am sorry..." He barely heard her words feeling her touch when she tried to comfort him, her hand resting on his arm. He flinched. The feel of her stroking him made him shudder. Being touched by her was not what made him tremble so. It was the comfort he derived from the caress. A security there. She would not harm him. There was no threat.
     He let down his guard and a rare and unusual emotion emerged. A nervous laugh escaped him. "I must be losing my mind." He declared.
    The very idea of having any kind of amnesty for this human had him doubting his sanity.
    She withdrew her hand upon sensing his discomfort when he latched onto her unexpectedly, grasping her arm,startling a yelp from her.
 Oh no, she had forgotten! "Please..." she begged.
    Opening his eyes to her, she was positive of his intentions...To finish what he had started! To pull away was fruitless. He had her but good.  
    "Please don't hurt me." She begged, closing her eyes from his steely gaze.
    Anticipating that the next thing she would experience was to be the excruciating pain as he snapped her wrist, she prepared herself and took in a ragged breath holding it. But it never came. He brought her hand to his muzzle, taking each finger -- and, like a curious child, examined each one, sniffing at the oils, all the while, watching her. A wan smile appeared, precariously, upon his lips as he observed her bewilderment upon opening her eyes. Withdrawing, her hands clenched into fists. He pulled them back, opening them. He studied the bruises. Touched them, trailed a long digit over the scratches to her elbow, his face revealing an emotion she could not interpret, for it contained a mixture of fury, sorrow, and confusion.   She fixed on his eyes, searching. His return was apprehensive -- threatening absolute control over her. Lowering her head, she shyed from his stare unsure of just how to take it -- as a challenge or something far more physical. Pressing her palm to his cheek, Thade felt its softness, dreamily closing his eyes.
    She felt excitement shiver through her, saying aloud what she thought was to herself; "Phallen, get a grip...!"
    "Phallen..." Thade mused, coming in a purr, having caught her low retort.
   Enfolding her hand in his, he turned it palm up; "I am sorry I hurt you.", kissing the bruises.
    Peering from her palm, he wondered if she could see how he felt. If she would understand him or simply trust in him. Or run, helter-skelter, from him. With a soft purr, he surrendered to whatever it was to be as he looked at her, weary to gaze into those hypnotic orbs now that he had.       Studying her solemnly he brushed back the raven hair which  fell about her face; the paleness of her skin, long black lashes which hid her eyes whenever she lowered them. The full brows that complimented those pools of mystery. Her nose was fine and straight, turning up slightly on the end giving a child-like mien to her. He saw her full lips, rarely giving way to a full smile of straight white teeth seeming to span her face, feeding into her self-conscious that her mouth was too big. Her chin came to a soft rounded point as the jaw-line sauntered back to elf-like ears. One more thing she kept hidden. But as Thade saw her -- really looked at her for the first time, he noticed none of these flaws. He had no rational answer as to why he had become so smitten by her.
    "Maybe she is like a pet..." He fancied.If that were the case she was like no pet he ever had!
    Throughout his life he was taught to kill humans... Destroy them... This one, though was different. She had no tribe, lived alone away from everything. She was clean, groomed, and dressed in the finest textiles this side of his city. How? Why?
    "When you are well, you must return to your people."
    Thade snapped out of his day-dream. "They have turned against me, Phallen." He lowered her hand -- streamed a long index finger along her life-line.
   "They came back for you." she pressed.
   His eyes went to hers. She felt his hand squeeze. "Tell me."
   He waited, all feeling pushed aside; delving for retribution, wanting to hear it all now. And Phallen had seen them return. She knew his future.     She pulled gently from his grip and began to pace slightly as she began. "A gorilla; very powerful in rank, was especially upset at not finding you..."
    "Attar." Thade recalled.
    Phallen nodded lightly, her face all aglow in the lamp light. "He said something about being "too many years to allow you to fall", that it was a "mistake to leave you like that."
    Falling silent she thought perhaps Thade might explain what the gorilla had meant. But upon looking at the soldier she realized how bothered he was by this news.
    "The Senate requested your reinstatement..." Her last words sent a charge through him. Even the thunder seemed to hold itself back; the silence pounding in their ears.
     Phallen slipped from the room feeling that she should have left the ape where he was so he would not have had to endure such an extended illness. There would have been doctors there who would have healed him much sooner and he would be back with his comrades. To let him digest what he had learned, maybe he wouldn't kill her.                                    

                                  

     "What has this human done for me?"
     He knew a change had occurred. It was so different now. "I can't hate her now."
    Yet, in the back of his head a still, small voice warned, "you cannot trust her."
     His chest ached. To get well and leave here... She would fall away from him just as the others had. Leaving him alone and angry.                                    
                                 

     "Let him go now..."     Unwilling to become anymore involved than she already was, Phallen withdrew any emotions held for the chimp-soldier, preparing herself to let him go, to release him and send him back where he belonged -- with his people, who obviously wanted and needed him there.     "...It is time."

                                

     Over the weeks, a friendship neither needed was developing. It was difficult to just accept this chance-meeting and to leave it at that. Thade was stronger and was able to stand long enough to make it to a high-hidden terrace up in the canopy. She brought him food and drink allowing him to sit and think and listen to the sounds of the forest. She took care of his needs making him well, all the while not realizing that she was falling into a tender trap. Disobeying her own ardent commitment to stay out of his life. He did not need her! Only now did he. And only now.They trusted one another.Thade could not deny it. He felt too comfortable around her, forgetting she was human, taking her at face-value only to shake himself back, circumstances arriving to the fact that soon he would be leaving. There was a strange ache inside that he could not put his finger on. Was it having to say goodbye feeding on his conscience? It had been so long since he felt such a powerful connection with anyone, having turned his feelings off to avoid the hurt endured in the past. He felt, with Phallen, as if he could tell her anything be it good or bad, and he did. Many things and she accepted them without shudder or revolt, never finding fault, and he knew by the look on her face that her acceptance was genuine.
     Sometimes she would not say a word. Just sit and listen to him, while other times she engaged in spirited conversation about her journeys to places where the air was cold and white billows fell from the clouds, explaining how it felt, how it fell without a sound covering the ground in a blanket of white. Thade would look at her absurdly."You are but a child. How can you say you have been to so many places and seen such things? Even I have never seen this frozen wasteland you speak of."
   "I am not a child...!" Phallen protested. "I have been to many places in my life, though many when I was "but a child."
    She proceeded to describe the sound of a hollow wind, for there were no life-sounds. No birds, nor insects. Nothing but the wind.
   "My father took my brother and I there after my mother disappeared."     Thade dropped his gaze into his glass swirling it thoughtfully.
    "Did you know your mother?" He asked.
    "Only for a short while. I was five when she vanished."
    "You are fortunate to have spent time with her." He replied quietly. "I did not receive such an opportunity."
    Phallen smiled lightly understanding what loss meant. She felt deeply for him, and at the same time for herself.
    "We have more in common than we thought." She said.
    Then the uncomfortable silence came. She was embarrassed and neither knew what to say to pull up the reins on this lame horse without stepping on emotions.
    "Phallen...?" Thade leaned into the light, eyes gleaming; his query pursed upon his lips.
    The girl peered shyly from beneath her brow trying to hide the feelings she had for him delivering an almost comical seriousness to her face.
    Thade fell back into the shadows of the evening, veiling his features.  "Never mind," He dismissed, waving his hand. "I cannot remember."
    But he could. He wanted to tell her how he felt. How she made him feel. Though it was not apparent to her, she was more to him than what he had perceived her to be -- his pet.To tell her goodbye was going to be difficult. The only thought which seemed to quell the inevitable was the one which he swore to do; to return to this unusual creature. She had protected him with her life. To repay her with the same virtue was only fair. But he feared his emotion burrowed much deeper. The more he was with her the more he wanted to stay with her! There was this soul in her that reached out to him through those soft brown eyes.
     "I will miss her!" He thought.He turned to the forest, sighing.

                                                      
      It was to be their last evening. How quickly the time seemed to have passed. Thade would leave in the morning.Could he leave in the morning?     Phallen had prepared a beautiful feast, gathering everything from the forest without having to touch nothing that did not grow naturally. Orchards belonging to the apes of Derkien were out of the question. They were not hers and they certainly would not appreciate her plucking the fruit they worked so hard on to grow. There was plenty of fruits and vegetables in the forest for her. She even made her own wine derived from honey and sugar cane.
    They drank the wine she made, pouring one glass after another, burying the coming day when Thade would walk out of her life back to his, leaving her to carry on where she had left off in hers. That was how she wanted it and she played it off perfectly encouraging his endeavors with words that would send him back with no regret or feelings of indebtedness. She hid what she really wanted to let him hear. With the wine hitting her she wondered if it made any difference. They were from two different worlds. Nothing could change that. Not even a stupid statement. Phallen's cheeks flushed from her own thoughts as an awkward silence fell over them. The lamp in the center of the table cast their shadows, leaping and dancing, onto the far wall, while either one refused to bid the other adieu.  She scanned the room. Memories of the past weeks glowed on her skin -- from her misty eyes.Thade watched her, saw the emotion break on her brow. Her warmth was real and it radiated to the surface; tangible and visible.
     She avoided his stare."Don't look at me that way! You are making it hard to let you go! It's not fair!" Her mind raged.
     He made an attempt to get her to smile, a cheap disguise for what was going on inside of his own psyche. He was lost. Having laid his trust in her, to leave was crushing his heart.The smile on his lips turned downward conveying how hard it was becoming to conceal his own crush.
     "This isn't how it's supposed to be." He thought.
     What came out was a lame, stuttering statement of his esteem toward what she had done for him. "You...," He shook his head searching for words to fit so he could allow closure to a relationship he wished could be be much more than a fantasy.
     "You saved my life." He finally said. "You CHANGED it."
    He stared directly into her, never giving her a chance to avert.      
"You resurrected me and I feared you." He reached out and touched her hand. "I do not fear you now, nor do you fear me. Never fear me, Phallen."     His fervent gaze could not be avoided. It burned into her until she dipped her head, her long, black tresses hiding her. She understood more than she cared to after seeing his desire, unspoken, yet screaming of the affection he wanted to release over her.
    Thade waited out the storm when the light hit her eyes. He tipped his head to one side, an inquisitive smile emerging across his face, totally caught off guard by her abrupt dash from the table, her glass of wine crashing carelessly to the floor in her hasty retreat.
    Rushing out under the trees, Phallen began to cry, cursing herself for being so selfish and weak.
     "Forgive me...!" She cried to the heavens. "I know he doesn't belong here! I cannot let him know!"
    Collecting herself as she wiped stubbornly at her tears, Phallen knew an apology was in order for her behavior. Tossing her hair back she turned back, prepared to explain. How long he had been standing there, she had no idea, walking into him. Thade did not move. He allowed her to stumble into him in the darkness.
     "Do you think it is easy for me?" His voice came in a gentle rasp as he took her by the arms feeling her skin beneath his hands. "My emotions do not reveal themselves as readily. Though, with you..." He took in a long, slow breath. "I find it difficult to control them."
     Closing her eyes, she shuddered as he slid his hands down her arms, strong and warm when they clutched her.
     "I struggle with my past." He conveyed, his words falling just above a whisper. "Now I struggle with leaving here. Leaving you."
    She could feel his breath as he spoke. Sensed him moving closer. His facial hair brushed her cheek, his breathing grew short anticipating her embrace, and he began to tremble.
     "Forgive me," He whispered, taking in her sweet scent, wanting so to take her up in his arms and ravish her.To stay with her.Instead he pulled back and peered into her moonlit eyes losing himself in the murky, moody storm.
     "I beseech you," He implored. "This cannot continue, though I desire it to." His confession, so fervent, his voice quaked in arousal. Finding her hands, Thade took another step back."To allow myself to weaken would not be fair to you."
     He knew by the way she quivered under his touch that she was chaste, and his fierce attraction frightened her.
    He smiled down at her cupping her chin. "Come back in..."

                                                           
     To hear the bird songs of the morning brought the inevitable; a smile, wishes of peace and prosperity, and then farewell.
    Thade was well enough to make the journey home. His thoughts were occupied by what lay ahead. Knowing he was to be reinstated as General of the Derkien army did not lift his spirits though. To say goodbye to his friend was breaking his heart, and he prayed it could be different.      Taking in everything around him, Thade wanted something to remember her by. In the corner of the bedroom, clustered on the floor, conch shells gathered. Surly she would not miss one. Yes she would. Those had been there longer than he had. Just steal the memory. Remember it all.
     Nothing worked to ease his mind. Thade gnashed his teeth trying to satisfy the gnawing inside. He knew this was an experience he would not soon forget. With that, his face sat like stone and he marched from the bedroom. He knew once he left, this tree-abode, this creature of the forest would be next to impossible to find. It blended in so well if one ventured out of its premise there would be no easy way of finding one's way back. It became undiscernable from the millions of trees in the jungle. She would be lost forever.
    Phallen stood just outside the door of the tree-abode watching surreptitiously as he came from the bedroom, seeing him glance back over his shoulder for one last look. She took in a deep breath, holding it, closing her eyes as he brushed past her, realizing she would never see him again. A tempest raged within her, yet she remained steadfast. Chills ran up her spine when he passed, smelling the oils mixing with his chemistry.
      'Let him go! Don't defeat your purpose for living alone!'     Stepping into a beam of light, Thade turned to her shielding his eyes, looking hard at her, taking in her image, burning it into his memory forever. A deep scowl broke on his brow. Unable to comprehend why he could not keep her with him... And his eyes grew dark.
    It was just the way it was...
    "I will never forget you." And with a bow, not unlike that to royalty, Thade took her hand. "For you are truly a gift." Then he kissed her hand tenderly, letting it drop to her side.
    As he rose he could not hide the melancholy. Phallen smiled, hiding her own pain behind unemotional eyes. She had shut him out of her life already, refusing to take responsibility for his broken heart and his freedom from owing her anything.Thade shook his head angrily as a frustrated sigh escaped. So that is how she thinks?! Whipping around he leaped into the forest disappearing almost immediately.
     Phallen scoped her surroundings before releasing a sigh of relief. A quivering sound escaped revealing the feelings she hid so well. What she had done was right. To send him away thinking she had only been there to heal him was just. It was only fair to him. He was free in spite of the fact her tears were but a look away, fighting like hell to keep them at bay.Taking a step back to her door she wiped at the tear that rolled down her cheek, when without so much as snapping a twig, Thade dropped down behind her. All she heard was the soft patter as his feet hit the deck. She spun and gasped finding him standing right behind her, his face set like stone as he stared into the eyes of a very bad liar.
He seized her powerfully around her waist and pulled her close. "I am not dealing with your defiance very well." He admonished, running his hand along her back beneath the black, endless mane.
    Breathing heavily, he inhaled the deep earthy smell of her hair, burying his face in her neck. A resonant purr rose from his chest, feeling the rapture from just holding her next to him. Thade looked into her eyes searching, and discovered the warmth she had tried to hide come in great, salty tears. Her facade had been lifted. She was vulnerable after all.     He ran his fingers through her hair, then gently held her neck. "I have not felt this way in..."
    "Phallen, I..." She placed a finger to his lips. "This is not how it should be." She said quietly.
     His mind raged with the truth of why he had come back, why he held her the way he did. He could not let her go. He had always gotten what he wanted and she was no exception.
    She shook her head slowly; lowering her gaze. She saw the want in his eyes wishing he would have just kept going, to let it be a tale untold. He lifted her chin, once again losing himself in her eyes... as his burned with brazen fervor.
      Phallen pushed out of his embrace spinning away from him. This was hurting her and she refused to entertain his outragious notion that an ape and a human could love one another. She released a nervous titter, shaking her head madly. Thade reached for her, his touch pensive, gentle, turning her to cup her lovely face in his big hands.
     "Kiss me, Phallen." His words, so caught up in emotion she barely heard them.
    Their lips touched. To take her breath in him, to feel her hands touch him rushed upon Thade like a tidal wave and he pulled back trying to control the passion burning inside. A struggle, he realized, he could soon succumb to. Adoring her, he saw her innocence. She knew what was happening between them, how this sensation coursing through them could lead to something they both could regret. She was innocent not naive. Just the thought of never seeing her again descended upon him like a dark cloud.
    She smiled warmly touching his cheek. "Well?" She pursued. Overwhelmed, Thade enwrapped her in one long arm gliding through her hair with his other hand, feeling its thickness -- knowing he was safe there.  Slowly they came together in their embrace, stronger and deeper than any emotion he had ever felt, sending him into a tail-spin he could not pull out of this time. Reeling. Falling. His head spun euphorically. Caught up in her so severely nothing else mattered as he took her back in one profound kiss; his body rushing with deep, savage abandon. Gazing down at her as she lay back in his arms, Thade knew what he wanted to do was wrong. But it felt so right!
     'This is not right!'He seemed to shudder from the words in his head as they intruded on his conscience. Standing her back on her feet Thade pawed nervously at her dress, straightening it, lifting her hair to drape it back.
     "I..." Conflict slapped him hard, overloading his brain with a deluge of rights and wrongs. "...must go."
    He backed away never taking his eyes off of her, then with the agility of an acrobat, he sprung from the porch disappearing into the forest.      Still breathless Phallen fell into one of the chairs. Her head swimming.
     "goodbye..." She heard herself whisper.

Chapter 2
                 "The Returning"

     "This is not going to be easy... They are not going to accept this from me..."
     He broke from the forest and into the brightness of morning. The odors of blossoms and moist loam and moss wafted into his nostrils. Inhaling deeply he took his first step onto the open flat land.
     Looking back over his shoulder, he wanted to dash back to her, but reluctantly, he trudged forward. Going home.
     Home. Why did it sound so alien?
     "How will I explain?"
     "I owe no explanation!" If he had been a mythical dragon, fire would have snorted from his nostrils with that, blazing a trail all the way to Derkein.
    And just as quickly as his temper had manifested, he had it tempered and under control; A virtue Phallen had instilled within him without even realizing it.
    "They will accept me for they, too, had fallen under the words of a false prophet."
    Sauntering through the tall grass, he never felt more alone. Sparse groves of trees resembled lonely lost islands stranded in the middle of nowhere. There was not another soul except for a few birds and they stayed well hidden in those lost trees, rendering up forlorn songs, adding to his misery.
     " You could still turn back." Thade's inner voice reminded.
    He smiled, nodded to himself. "I could," he replied aloud. "I love her..."
     "I LOVE HER!" he bellowed across the savannah.
     The birds fell silent. As silent as the senators were going to when he would declare his sentiment for her to them.

                  

     No, his return was not to be a glorious one. There would be no Army Brass playing "Hail the Returning Hero" in the town square.
     He was coming home but not as the conquering hero.
     He had faced death, smelled its grey existence, walked the blackened corridors of hell - a place he never wanted to return to.
     But in whom could he reveal to that he had been resurrected by a human? That she was most extraordinary from the word Go? How would he explain how he had fallen in love with her?
     Hell, he couldn't even explain it to himself!
     But her warmth, which rose in that embrace, was not imagined. That was why he left so abruptly. To have taken her would have been barbaric, even in his eyes. How the spark ignited in him though! How could she - a mere human - have affected him so profusely?
     She never asked for a single thing, that's how. She saved his life then sent him home.
     Home... There was that word again.
     He committed himself to returning to her some day soon, confessing he had fallen in love with her. Accepting it completely...



     Corporal Omri scanned the horizon from the tree tops. Normally, he could have seen for a good three or four miles or so, but today there was not much to look at. The rain had left a haze over the forest making it nearly impossible to ascertain anything outside of a one mile radius.
     It didn't matter much to him anyway. He was soon to be relieved by the night sentry and his forty-eight hour furlough would begin. He had not seen his wife in a week. In their last correspondence she had promised sweet honey wine, or Meade, and Omri could almost taste it.
     The young chimp's face creased into a fangy smile as he bounced eagerly on the limb - anticipating his "holiday" - dislodging large fruit pods from the tree, falling haphazardly through the branches and bouncing hard like golf balls, onto the trodden paths below.
     Still high on the thought of going home, the corporal paid little attention as he scanned the vista, missing the figure cresting the distant  hillside. His head snapped back and with an alarming howl, he scrambled from his perch and leaped to the ground some thirty feet below landing on all fours and loped silently back to base.
    Bursting into the commander's quarters unannounced and winded, Omri exclaimed, "Someone approaches the city, Sir!"
 Attar turned from his task. If he had been caught off guard it did not reflect for his expression was dauntless.
     "Hmmm...?" came his rumbling reply.
     Corporal Omri nodded. Pointed anxiously. "Someone is coming!" He blurted. "From the West!"
     Attar's eyes narrowed...

     Dipping lower by the minute, the sun was disappearing behind the mountain as Attar and Omri - accompanied by three more gorillas - broke from the forest and out into the the open terrain, prodding their steeds into full gallop; a race with the setting sun.
      Pointing a massive gloved finger. a soldier barked, "Up ahead!" Shaking his finger westward.
      All eyes trailed after spotting movement about a hundred yards ahead.
     Attar bolted ahead centered keenly on the shadow, his hand going to the hilt of his sword as he rode up on the stranger.
     Pulling hard on the reins the beast reared as it was forced, suddenly, into a cantor. Raising his black muzzle into the air, Attar inhaled the air surrounding him deeply, discerning the odor as one of his own species.
      "Stop and identify yourself!" his brusque voice demanded - riding up on them swiftly.
     Ever so curious, he kept his weapon at the ready.
     "It is I..."
     Attar pulled his sabre from its sheath and held it defensively, wheeling his horse around for a second pass of the dark figure.
   Pulling hard against the reins he leapt from his mount landing directly before the stranger's path. They stood face-to-face for several seconds before Attar stammered, "How...?'
     At a loss for word, his mouth agape, their eyes locked.
     "How...?" His words faltered again.
     In the dusk, the commander could make out the profile. He knew this was no phantom standing before him. The General had returned from the dead!
     "Stop stammering and tell me if it is true!" Thade snapped in a gravely voice. "Does the Senate wish to reinstate me?!"
       The rest of the party rode up, encircling the two where they stood - noticing that Attar was considerably confused and that the thin, pale looking simian in a tattered military uniform appeared to be on the verge of collapse.
     "...Sir?" Omri addressed cautiously.
     But Attar did not hear him. He was nodding in response to the inquiry from Thade. Stupified by his presence, slowly grasping the reality that he was, indeed, standing before him.
     Just then, two gorillas dismounted and stepped up to Thade taking him by the arms. "You are under arrest..." one of them charged while going for a pair of cuffs attached to their utility belt.
      Thade wrenched free glaring at them. "Are you out of your mind?" He demanded backing away, all the while watching them intently, his fingers flexing. Waiting for one or both to make a move.
       Attar snapped out of his daze and stepped in front of Thade, blocking the soldiers and concealing the stunned ex-general who, in the state of mind he was in at that moment, could have ripped the heads off those two. Omri observed silently from the saddle, harried by the events which, if not for the commander, could have taken on an ugly stand-off. He knew Thade was to go before the council, but not as a prisoner.
    A deep growl rumbled in the commander's chest. "He is still you superior! You will treat him with respect!" Attar thundered, leering menacingly.
     The soldiers backed humbly away.
      "Go back to the compound. If I hear a breath from anyone of his return I will know who to come to."
     He turned, without further ado, to Thade. Saw the look of shock and anger on the chimp's face.  "Are you alright?" The gorilla asked quietly.
     Reaching out, Thade seemed to slump as he rested his hand on Attar's mighty shoulder. "I have seen Hell, my friend." he sighed.
     The words came so softly the commander wondered if it was his warrior general. It made him shiver. Where was the fire Thade once possessed? For a moment, Attar could only look at him. And for the first time since their encounter he noticed the armor. Even the mail beneath. It was all beaten.
     Thade could tell what the gorilla was thinking and he nodded. I know, I know," he conveyed. "It will be retired."
     A painful grin creased his face telling of a much deeper concern only to fade as quickly as it appeared as his expression turned serious. Too serious.
    Back to face the music.
    Nonetheless, Attar was glad to see his friend alive. Out of nowhere, the huge simian suddenly embraced Thade in a massive hug - squeezing the breath out of him unknowingly - with his muscular arms.
     A splendid smile spanned the gorilla's muzzle when he released him,  clutching Thade's shoulders. "It is good to see you!" He declared shaking his friend heartily.
     Taking a startled step back, Thade recovered from the unexpected greeting. The power in that hug, though in good will, proved merciless on his heeling ribs.
     Closing his eyes, Thade took in a slow measured breath, stifling the pain stabbing at his side. The smile fell from Attar's face when he saw the labored breathing, becoming aware to the fact that his friend was still quite fragile.
     "You are not well!" he cried, ashamed of himself for inflicting his friend with pain.
     Taking Thade under the arm, Attar assisted him to a waiting horse.
     Despite the commander's pleas, Thade refused to take the reins.
     Shaking his head, the chimp disputed. "I have traveled this far. I will make it the rest of the way."
     "You have not lost your stubborn streak, I see, sir."
      But he had. He had all but surrendered.

     Just along the tree line the young Corporal Omri waited while the others went back. Watching sullenly. as the two slowly made their way across the lea, he saw the change in General Thade. He was not how he used to be. He appeared to be humbled. Somewhat morose and distant. Something besides his downfall had affected him. There was a lonliness behind his eyes, as if he had lost his best friend. Having lost his brother, Omri knew that ghostly expression  all too well and it shook him to remember.

     One of the three gorillas who had attempted to incarcerate Thade remained with Omri. He looked sheepishly away from his commander realizing there was still a strong bond between he and the fallen general.
     Eying the soldier contemptuously, Attar directed his words especially to he and his fellow troops who had high-tailed it back to the compound already. "Make certain all understand there is to be no word of the general's return until I say so."
     The order was calm yet on the other hand a warning came through as plainly as the moons rising in the sky. Without hesitation the soldier nodded then wheeled his steed around and disappeared into the shadows. Thade watched after him. his thoughts wandering along a path of uncertainty for what was to happen now that he was returning. Surly his Phallen would never steer him toward his demise. She had saved him after all. He dropped his gaze. Stared at his own shadow on the ground. He did not feel the pain anymore. His thoughts were on her.
     She loved him.
     She loved him not.
     Was she thinking of him? Did she feel the way he did or was she over it now, carrying on with whatever she did out there?
      He missed her so. He could not help himself. He could not say he had no feelings for her or she for him. Though it had been only hours since they parted Thade still felt her. Sensed her. Smelled her.
     She was in him.
     He started. Quaking as he recalled their goodbye.
     Goodbye?!
     They never said it.
     Thade's unusual silence troubled Attar. He had never seen his comrade so depressed, so far out in left field and not seeming to really care about anything except for whatever it was that took him so far away.
     "What happened to you?" Attar queried, unable to take the silence anymore.
     Thade stopped and looked up into the face of the towering gorilla.
     He smiled wanly. "I have a tale to tell you."
     Quiet.
     Distant. Even slightly afraid.
     His eyes, as lucid as still waters, delivered the grief that haunted him and if he did not share this with someone - this helpless feeling he felt for the human - he was certain it would drive him insane.
     Still staring into the eyes of his friend, Thade could not hide his emotions. His brow furrowed and he took a deep breath.
     "There was someone." he sighed.

                                             
     Entering through the back gates offered privacy, avoiding any discrepancies that could have occurred due to the presence of the former general upon his return to Derkein. The infantry had been informed and awaited his arrival with apt anxiety, knowing not what to expect, retaining reverence, nonetheless, for him.
     For what seemed like an eternity, the two were finally seen. Both walking with a single horse trailing after.
     Immediately snapping to attention, all eyes watched prudently as Thade - a mere shell of what they remembered - sauntered past with barely an acknowledgment that they were all there.
     Attar surveyed the assembly with unyielding admonishment, narrowing his gaze onto ones most likely to incite argument among their peers. However, even they appeared sympathetic to the chimp's profound loss of power and regarded him with as much respect as the did their current commander, Attar.
     Handing the reins over to the hostler, Attar said, "I trust you know to keep your mouth shut?"
     Eyes locked, the stout orang received the warning with firm comprehension, nodding tersely,  wringing the reins in his hands before leading the horse down into the belly of the stable. With a gesture of his hand, Attar urged Thade toward the officer's quadrant and dreaded how his friend would take what lay ahead.
     The halls smelled of pungent oils and fresh paint. Any, and all things that depicted Semos and Thade's legacy had either been destroyed or done away with altogether - painted over. Removed from the walls. This perturbed Thade greatly but there was nothing he could do to change the situation. What had happened, happened, altering the culture forever.
     His eyes scanned the quadrant from beneath a heavy brow, recollecting the tapestries, statues in the likeness of he and his father, murals of the hunt painted on the walls - larger than life. Even the blood-red paint.
     All of it was gone. Covered with fresh coats of plaster.
     "It was all destroyed." Attar yielded, ascertaining Thade's sullen vexation over this dramatic change.
     "I should have expected it." he sighed. Defeated, he felt, once again.
     That was not the reaction Attar expected. Something more on the line of a tantrum in full swing, out of control, and extremely dangerous - was.

     The young corporal, Omri, stood at the intersection of the officer's quad, a ring of master keys in his hand - waiting. He examined each key as he waited for the two, contemplating Thade's seriousness outside of the army. It was none of his business, but still, he felt a strong compulsion to understand whatever it was that harried the ex-general.
     Echoing voices made him look up from the cluster of keys as he naturally went to the general's, taking it between index finger and thumb. He escorted them, listening to the hushed conversation behind him, catching only the words which rose passionately. "I do not care" and "I do not plan to stay" floated to his sensitive ears more than once. If he ever got Thade alone, he would confide to him how much he understood.
     Omri picked up his step arriving at the general's door several seconds before them and slipped the key into the lock. "Your room has remained as you left it..." he reported, pushing the door open.
     Both, Omri and Attar regarded the ex-general's response as he peered into the dark apartment as if discovering some ancient ruin - apprehensive,  fearful to enter so as not to disturb the contents that once influenced the very essence of a king.
     "If that will be all..." Omri's voice, though soft, startled Thade. He turned defensively, his jaw tight, eyes set and unblinking.
     Realizing it was only Omri, Thade nodded stiffly then shifted his gaze back into the darkness.
     Attar gestured for Omri to go. The corporal gave a single nod then slipped quietly away catching Thade's eye before disappearing around the bend.

     Perceiving his friends apprehension, Attar ushered forth, the smells of parchment paper, leather and whatever else that had been locked up in there, wafted heavily into his nostrils dank and musty.
     Although it had been closed up for several months the odor was not offensive, only reminiscent, recalling the last times they were in that dorm - hatching plans, reading maps, or just discussing life in general.
     Locating the oil lamp sitting on Thade's desk among documents declaring Marshall Law, Attar turned as he struck a match. The wick crackled and snapped as it took and filled the room with soft, yellow light. Thade could then see that, indeed, the place was exactly as he had left it - a mess. The only thing not covered with either clothing or some, now, insignificant piece of documentation was the day-bed, which he rarely napped on, but had entertained a few tryst receptions with his "select" courtesans.
     Shuffling in, it looked extremely inviting. Even in its un-warmed state. With a groan, Thade lowered himself onto the feather mattress, his pain evident, wracking his body mercilessly. Thoughts wandered back to Phallen.
     What was she doing now?
     His arm went to his eyes blocking out the light and the adamant stare Attar had him under. It exasperated him immensely.
     "What I am about to tell you cannot leave this room." 
     At last! Thade was about to allow him in on his little secret! Grabbing a chair, Attar waited, his face wearing a worried, seeking perception for this difficult situation Thade seemed to be troubling over. Divulging in him a confession which will certainly convict him among his peers as unsound.
     "Whatever you tell me will never be repeated." Attar assured.
     In a calm voice, so unlike his normal boisterous self, Thade commended his friend. "My confidence in you has always been justified by your accomplishments."
     Flexing his knee, the general clenched his teeth in agony as shots of pain coursed up his leg.
     "Forgive me, " he rasped, resting his leg against the wall. " I forget that I am not the young ape I once was."
     Taking a deep breath, Thade knew he had no more to go on. He had come to the task of disclosing his secret. So, with a deep sigh, he began. Slowly, at first, recounting the nightmare they both had experienced, keeping it brief on that subject so as not to step on any toes. His story told of his liberation from the tomb, yet he could not explain how he had gotten to where he was - in the care of a woolander.
     As his tale unfolded, he never revealed to Attar that his savior was a human leading the commander to believe Thade had encountered an emphatic hermit-ape. He stated, for the most part, that his memory rested upon the last few weeks of his recovery and according to his host, Thade had suffered from his injuries with fever-induced seizures caused by infection from a severe laceration to his left arm.
     Sincere candor shadowed Thade's features announcing just how deeply this person had affected him. "I can not forget her, Attar," he confessed. "She has crept into my very soul."
     He was almost sobbing. His voice, thick with remorse for having left her, wavered and he closed his eyes tightly against his weakness.
     Attar hated seeing his friend this way - on the verge of tears. He could feel himself reacting with sympathy, stifling his own feelings quickly to permit the chimp to vent freely his own deepest desires.
     "Perhaps you should let them know." He quietly suggested.
     Thade lifted up on his elbow, ignoring the pain. "Do you think so?" He sounded almost hysterical, abandoning all attempts at controlling his raging emotions. He laughed. Too caught up, lest to cry like a baby. And as Attar observed his behavior he saw the grave, saddened expression on Thade's face; Oh my God, what have you done?!
     "She is human!"
     The gorilla gasped looking away then took a double-take.
     "Surly you jest!" He snorted, his lips spreading with delayed reaction from the caper Thade had just laid on him.
     But the gleam in those eyes.
     They weren't lying.
     Staggered by Thade's presumptuous revelation, Attar's grin fell. His jaw dropped in disbelief. "You are serious!" came a whisper of astonishment as the commander's eyes bulges in shock.
     The silence which befell them was charged with a nervous energy that left Thade uncertain as to whether his confession had been such a good idea. He did not feel any better for it. In fact, he felt even worse now that the story had been told - hearing it ring in his own ears! He felt stupid.
     No...Confession was not good for the soul.
     Not his, anyway...
     "Under the circumstances," Attar began. "and in your own best interest for what lies ahead of you, I strongly advise you to let this go."
     The commander dropped his gaze, and in a repressed mumble added, "do not waste your time."
     Waste his time?!
     "She in no mere human!" Thade rebuked, his voice reaching a feverish pitch, confirming his resentment for the statement.
     Then he blinked as if awakening. Realizing what he had done - attacking his friend unjustifiably - Thade fought for control. "Forgive me. I do not mean to take this out on you. Believe me when I say I know what you are saying, but can you see what I am saying?"
     An apology, in the past, was practically non-existent as Attar could only recall one other time.
     He accepted it humbly.
     "You do not know her." Thade said.
     The hulking figure peered from beneath his brow at his insane comrade.
     "Rest..." he prescribed, rising from his seat, his mighty hand resting gently on Thade's shoulder. "we will talk more tomorrow."
     "I am in love with her..."
     The gorilla jumped as if jolted by the door latch. "Tomorrow..." he recapped, then pulled the door open.
     Stepping out into the deserted corridor, Attar closed the door quietly behind him making sure it locked, then leaned against the wall slapping a hand to his face. "This is a nightmare!" he thought, shoving off the wall and swaggering to his own room.
     Closing his eyes, Thade entered - almost immediately - into deep slumber.
     Indeed, tomorrow was another day.

     Phallen fell back on the sofa.
     Where to start over now? Now that he had gone.
     She had no idea just how strongly she had affected him - leading her to believe it was all a misunderstanding...A really big mistake to have kissed her like that.
     Obviously, his status reigned among the most elite, arriving to the conclusion that she would never see him again. That he did not need her services any longer.
     And her own foolish thought, "maybe he will come back for me" , would soon fade.
     "Oh the fairy tale would have been wonderful if it were one! They always had happy endings," she mused.
     But highly unlikely in this case.
     "I need to retreat for a while." she said aloud before sleep impeded.

     He dreamed of her...

     She slept dreamlessly...
 
                                        
        

     The water reservoir, holding many thousands of gallons of rain, warmed as the suns traveled up through cloudless, blue skies. Thade awoke to the sounds of business-as-usual outside of his room. He knew he was to go before the Counsel to answer to his guilt... and also to protect his innocence.                               "Will I be able to re-establish myself?"  He sat up, swung his legs to the floor and stretched, yawning widely. Resting against the wall, he could still smell the oils on his skin and it reminded him that it was not a dream. She did exist.Bringing his hands to his face, Thade wondered if he would ever chance upon her again.     Did he dare? That embrace! He could still feel it, sweet, innocent on his lips. Hell!, he could still feel her in his arms! And when he closed his eyes, he saw her, the fragile human he had fallen head-over-heels for.                                         "Will I never forget you?!" A frustrated cry declared.                                            Running his fingers through his hair, Thade bit his lip. He did not know her well enough to feel so strongly, let alone the fact she was human should have repelled him. Why, then did he carry such fervent feelings for her?  In the back of his mind was the answer. All she wanted was to see him well, pervious to the fact of what he was... He was wanted "Home".                                                             Closing his eyes, he sighed heavily, "Phallen..."

                       

     The Highlands would clear her mind. All she needed was time.                      "I gazed upon you far longer than you have upon I, and now, there is nothing."     She closed the door, leaving it all behind, and walked away...

      She is leaving...!!!                                                                                                Thade awoke in a cold sweat.                                                                             "WAIT!"                                                                                                             Sitting there, half asleep, Thade shuddered. "I must find her."

   44 - 47

                     

   Omri found nothing.                                                                                       In his efforts to locate Thade's "Nirvana", it was one big jungle... Except for one tree. Upon further inspection it revealed itself and the young corporal stared at it.                                                                                                             "Amazing!" He exclaimed, walking its circumference -- his fingers trailing along the rough exterior."It's at least a thousand feet around!"                                          Finding the door was a bit of a trick considering it was cut right from the side. It remained steadfast when he pushed against it. Pressing his ear to it there was nothing. So he knocked. Not a sound. No one was there. Peering high into the thick branches a terrace was only visible if one really looked. He saw the floor and was stymied again by its sheer size.                                                                "Absolutely spectacular! It has levels!"                                                        Thade had met an unusual being this time. No wonder he was so heart-sick!     Climbing back on his horse, Corporal Omri took out a pad and pencil and scribbled the coordinates back to the tree hastily.                                          "Just between you and me, General," and he tucked the map away; "I believe you have met your match."                                                                                    'It's too bad she has flown.' It was also too bad that Commander Attar had sent him out to locate such a place, if it existed at all, and that he would have to report that it did. The good part was he did not have to say where.                               A false map would send them in the opposite direction...                                                                                        

 "I found the tree-abode but it was deserted." Omri announced, handing the bogus map over to his Commander.                                                        Studying the scribbling, Attar bit at the lining of his cheek. "Very well. At least we know it was no an hallucination."                                                              "Should I bring her back if I locate her?"                                                    "No..." The gorilla shot immediately before dropping a stack of papers at the corner of his desk. "Thade does not need her in his life. Not now or ever."     Omri nodded lightly as his eyes wandered the room. 'Not much in here to inspire a warm heart, is there?' he thought, seeing how the decor pretty much consisted of a one-sided belief which now lay in ruin.                                                      He stood at attention.                                                                                  "That is all, Corporal Omri." The bass-voice releaved. "Your furlough..."                "It was supposed to have started yesterday, sir."                                               "Your pass..." And he handed it over.                                                              Omri's mouth fell open: RETURN FOR DUTY IN 24 HOURS.                   Great...!

                   

    48

          Slipping down the hall, Omri made his way to Thade's quarters. His eyes shifted uncomfortably up and down before rapping on the door. There was no reply.                                                                                                                   "Sir, I need to speak to you." He said, pressing his mouth into the door jamb.         Still nothing. He pounded this time and the door flew open. The young chimp hastened in taking Thade by the arm as he went, closing the door quickly behind them. Wrenching free the General glared at him.                                                   "What are you up to?" Thade demanded, eyeing him suspiciously.                          'The bastard's come to kill me!'                                                                            Omri took a breath, then said it; "She has left, sir."                                        Their eyes narrowed on one another and the Corporal shifted nervously on his feet, prepared to dive out of harm's way if he had to.                                            "What are you talking about?" Came low and secretive.                             "C'mon, I know what's going on." Omri felt a bit relieved when he saw a slight spark in Thade's eye. "I searched; located the tree, but..."                                      The elder chimp scowled deeply -- the creases Phallen had erased returning -- before he turned and hid his face. Intensifying by the second, his rage reddened his cheeks as he released a deep resentful growl.                                              "No one was there?"                                                                                          "No, sir."                                                                                                     Thade hung his head nodding, walking further into the room as his hands clenched into fists.                                                                                                              "Is she really human?"                                                                                      Leering back over his shoulder, Thade hissed, "It does not matter."                       "Well, obviously it does! If it didn't you wouldn't be tied up in knots right now."     Omri crossed his arms, a smug look settling on his muzzle. "Do you think it wise to pursue..."                                                                                                         Thade came around in a split second and slammed Omri up against the door. "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT I SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT BE DOING!"                                                                             All fangs and nails, Thade glared up at the lanky chimp contemptuously.            "Shit! Just announce it to everyone I'm here!"                                                  "What do you mean by that?!"                                                                           "If Commander Attar knew where I was right now I'd be courtmartialed by sun set, that's what I mean!"                                                                                       "He did not send you here?"                                                                         "No, sir, he did not."                                                                                            Thade bit his lip...walked away. Corporal Omri stretched his neck, turned his head to-and-fro before an audible popping sound occurred followed by a deep sigh of relief. Straightening his fatigues, he came off the door and stood at ease in the entry. From that stand-point, to remain silent seemed the best cure for a volatile disposition such as Thades'.                                                              His angel, the beautiful human had moved on leaving it all behind her. 'No...' Thade shook his head. 'You will not be mine...'  Her memory was all he had for solace. And as he shook with anger thunder pealed.                                                Omri stepped quietly into the main room. He knew how love ripped a heart apart. It was happening in front of him.. "You love her, don't you?"                           Thade grinned. "Does it show?"                                                                       "Slightly." Omri jibed.                                                                                   Their eyes met, only this time amicably - the young chimp looking back at him with cool attribution. It appeared he understood.                                                        "I will do what I can." He said.                                                                      "You would do that for me? Risk your future for me?"                                   Omri smiled easily; "Yes. She has touched you. I know you care. And even though you damned near put me through the door before opening it, I know you have changed."                                                                                                         Thade nodded admittedly. "Just find her. Bring her back to me."                        "What if she...doesn't want to?"                                                                            He could hear the whimper under Thade's deep sigh before he collected himself; shoulders back, chest out, head high...                                                      "Let's not go there." He replied softly.                                                                   Pointing a finger at him, Omri winked. "Right... Stay positive."                              Thade chuckled sadly. "Something like that."                                                   49

     Cracking the door, Thade peered up and down the hall before gesturing to Omri that the coast was clear. The wily simian stole down the naked corridor then disappeared around the bend.                                                                         "I am so...!" Thade could not even finish saying it to himself.                                  His conscience was not afraid to say it;  'So timorous, Stupid! You're a coward! A submissive ass-kisser!'                                                                                     'Alright already! I'm not that far gone! Maybe I'm waiting...'                                         Waiting... Their last goodbye...it wrenched at his heart. The last time he gazed upon her beautiful face, deeply into her eyes as they delved into his very soul. It had shaken him. Sent him running scared only to eventually snare him, paralyzing him emotionally in the end. "you love her, don't you...?"Omri's words echoed. He had seen Thade; how he carried himself, the way his shoulders slumped as if beaten down... Alone.Oh, she was more than a possession for the former General. She was a life-line. To be without her, Thade would soon be lost...

                            

     To stay. To leave.  To be one with her again was all he yearned for.     "Will I never see you again?" He sought. "You would leave me here? Leave your home for the sake of my future?"  He held his head. "This is not where I want to be if she can- not be here with me."                                                                          Where were the answers? Why did he feel this way toward her while his simian females could not even evoke a stroke from his hand?  Passion... Just to hear her voice. Take her up in his arms again...                                                                   It sent a shiver down his spine and he closed his eyes envisioning her...                 He felt it all...

                   The letter he penned -- entrusting it to Corporal Omri -- read nothing like his true feelings. It was short and sweet and to the point:

               My Dearest Phallen,                                                                                   I have arrived in Derkein to discover everything which you had disclosed. It is in my most heartfelt hopes that this reaches your hands, for I have not been at peace since our parting therefor bringing me to the conclusion that you, above anything and everything, are most important in my life. I have given instructions to this Corporal to bring you back with him. Though it has been many weeks since we parted you have haunted my thoughts.                                                               Please, do not hesitate.                                                                                       I await, though impatiently, for your arrival...

                         Yours,                                                                                                                  Thadeus Paige,                                                                                        General of the Derkein Army

                                     

                       

      50

     And he waited, hoping with each passing day there would be some clue as to where she was. The good Corporal searched, but he could not find Thade's elusive butterfly. And every evening, anticipating finality, Thade was left with only an oath of unceasing search. Receiving that with an unsettling confirmation, the ex-General slinked back into his room growing ever more withdrawn as each day ended like the last.                                                                                                  "Keep looking." Was all he said before closing the door -- allowing no one to enter.                                                                                                                       She was all he needed.

     The curtains were drawn. The only light came from a lone lamp, its wick set so low it threatened to flicker out. There were no shadows. Everything was still. Sounds from outside filtered through the open sash as he sat in the middle of his room, a glass of brandy in his hand -- holding onto her; the urge to break free growing stronger, lest to lose her even from his memory.                                             A poet at heart, he penned quite a bit in his seclusion. None of it really making sense when he read it, still, he placed it in a large book that rested at the top corner of his desk.                                                                                            Sprawled across the top, pen in hand, Thade scribbled his thoughts before glancing around at all of the scattered papers from long ago. He snarled at them darkly, then, with one sweep of his arm, sent it all sailing, a frustrated yell erupting in tow as he tore at the paper madly throwing it in a basket next to the desk. With not a care for his life or anyone elses at that point, he smashed the oil lamp into the papers sending up a huge fire-ball. The flames licked dangerously at the textiles draping the ceiling, threatening a rapid spread, perhaps throughout the whole quadrant.  He stepped back and watched, mesmerized by its sheer hunger to consume everything, a wicked smile pursed on his lips when, from nowhere, he was pulled back, stumbling and falling hard against an old trunk in the far corner of the room. Rubbing his sore head and focusing on the uproar, the flames were quickly extinguished producing a great billow of smoke that now choked the air from his lungs. Literally pulled from the room by his collar, Thade was safely dumped in the hall dazed and drunk. Opening his burning eyes several simian faces leered down, some with concern while others in contempt.                            "What in the hell were you thinking?!" Omri twirled from the door, smoke rising from his body. "Are you TRYING to kill yourself?"                                                  Still stunned and lying close to the wall, Thade gave a dry cough before shaking his head no.                                                                                                Jutting his hand out, Corporal Omri said, "If you insist on hurting yourself I will have no choice than to have you put under arrest."                                                  Thade broke into laughter at the absurdity, dismissing the helping hand and standing on his own. "Oh you are a funny one aren't you, Corporal?" Thade mused.                                                                                                                  No one else was laughing though. He realized they meant business and he had no rank to pull. He dipped his head erasing the last of the giggles before coming back, thinking, 'you little shit, you! If you didn't remind me so much of myself at your age I'd tear you a new asshole!'                                                                      "You're lucky I came instead of Commander Attar. I volunteered to come and take you out of here for a while. What if HE would have?"                                       Thade felt a twinge of panic. He was losing it and felt helpless to prevent it.  Shaking the fogginess from his brain, he grabbed onto reality with both hands, collecting himself."I appreciate your concern. I must have blacked out. I don't remember a thing."                                                                                                  Omri gave a slight signal with his hand and the troops dispersed in a low voiced huddle.                                                                                                         51                                                                                                                     The young chimp stole looks up and down the corridor before pulling Thade in. "Sir...! You need to get a GRIP! They already think you've lost your mind and now you give them proof! How are you to ever regain your status with a record like that?"                                                                                                                "You have no idea what I am dealing with." Thade confided. "I believe I HAVE lost my mind."                                                                                               "It is time to let her go. She is so long gone..."                                                     "NO!" Thade cut. "I will not. She holds my heart, Corporal. She gives me strength."                                                                                                                "What did she ever say to make you think she cared? "                                        "She said I was beautiful." And he smiled.                                                           Omri released a sigh as he nodded. "So is that all it takes to calm "the savage beast"?"                                                                                                                  Grinning objectively, Thade shook his head with a chuckle. "Beauty lies in the eyes if the beholder."                                                                                                 Best to keep his mouth shut, Omri hum-hawed around the retort half-shrugging as he went toward the General's door. "Well all I can say is I only found her tree-abode..."                                                                                          Thade reached out for the wall, stunned.  "She was not there?"                            Omri looked at him. The General was pale and apparently on the verge of collapse. "I didn't say that."                                                                                   "What are you saying, then?"                                                                                Omri fought for restitution before looking back at Thade.  "Yes, that IS what I'm saying, General. She was nowhere. There was nothing there!"                            Thade spun away and ran for the exit not caring anymore what anyone thought of or did to him.

                   

     There, in the stable, Thade's steed waited. Recognizing her owner even though it had been many months since he had ridden her, the mare began kicking up straw, bumping up against the stall, and whinnying; letting it be known how she had missed him. Grabbing the bridle from its hook as he went, Thade came to the animal's stall speaking softly as he ran his thick fingers through her mane. "We meet again." His voice whispered soft and low. Entering the stable, he threw a blanket across her back smoothing it before saddling her, all the while anticipating reunification. If he did not tell Phallen now, he felt he would lose her forever.      Placing his toe in the stirrup, Thade hoisted himself upon the mare's back nudging her forward out of the stall to allow her full lead down the straw-laden alley at a steady gait, grazing a startled guard when they broke into the court-yard.      Patrolling the compound, Attar heard the startled yowl and spun on his heel narrowing his gaze on the stable house seeing the dark figure as it charged forth. Without his blazing armor of superiority, Thade looked like "the neighbor".          "STOP...!"                                                                                          "WAIT...!"     They came simultaneously.   From separate corners, Corporal Omri was soon rushing along with Commander Attar, each in an individual pursuit for totally different reasons.                                                                                   52                                                                                                                        "STOP...!" Commander Attar shouted, rushing the horse, sending it rearing in alarm.                                                                                                                        Thade held fast riding out the sudden burst, bringing the animal swiftly under control. Realizing who it was, Attar grabbed the horses bridle.                                  "You cannot leave the compound. I have not released to the Council your return."                                                                                                                     The chimp leaned from the saddle, his face a hideous mask of emotion. "I must go." rattled from his throat.                                                                               With those words Thade heeled his horse sharply sending her bolting for the compound gates. Upon seeing horse and rider rushing in their direction, the sentries scrambled for the heavy wooden doors, throwing their backs into getting them open, doing so just in time as he flew past slipping narrowly through before the sentries had them full opened.    Breaking out into the city, at first glance, he was not recognized. The physical influence he once possessed was all but tapped out -- having been so close to death. It had taken its toll leaving him thin and gaunt. Not until someone realized just who he was, Thade could have made it through the city and out the other side without a hitch, but he had been spotted.                                                                                                                       They eyed him thoughtfully, watching him as he passed before shouting; "The General has RETURNED!"                                                                                   All movement in the area froze. Heads turned, gawked, squinted in the sun to see him. It only took one yowl of approval to start an expanding display of public reception. Their fearless General had returned! Clapping and calls of welcome were relayed along with hoots and whistles. A rush of emotion flooded over Thade as he eyed the crowd, his expression changing from confusion to elation when he realized that he was still revered as a great leader. No one had forgotten nor forsook him.                                                                                                    "Welcome back!" Their voices sang as they came from their shops and homes, extending their hands to his, stroking the horse he sat upon.  Thade grinned sardonically, seeing that he still held them in his power. With this knowledge, he smiled; it would not be long before Phallen was there with him.                               Approaching hoof beats awoke him from his deliriously satisfying day-dream. Peering over his shoulder he saw Attar and about twenty of his soldiers riding hard to rescue Thade from the angry mob. He smiled slyly back at them when he felt a hand rest on his thigh. Reaching down, Thade turned slowly to them. A deep purr rose from his chest as he took their hand gently in his.                             "Josee..." He uttered softly.                                                                                  His personal courtesan; looking lovely in green brocade, her head covered with beaded braid -- stood next to him.                                                                        "Welcome back."  Her voice was low and sultry as her ringed fingers ran up his thigh.                                                                                                                      Sensations rippled down Thade's spine at her touch. Tipping his head, he smiled capriciously, knowing she would always be there.                                          53

     He pulled away, feeling himself beginning to respond. It would have been easy to pull her up and race off to some secluded place as he had done in the past. Things were different now.                                                                                     "No, Josee." He rejected gently.                                                                           There was a new consciousness about him now. To do anything that would give Phallen the benefit of a doubt of his true intentions was out of the question.       Thade shook his head sadly to Josee, letting her know her services were no longer needed.                                                                                                        "You know where to find me." And she slipped from his fingers.                            'I am never where I want to be!' He thought, gingerly guiding the mare through the crowd and away from the soldiers making their way through the crowd, all the while nodding with appreciation and wearing a wan smile.                                    He had lost interest in the whole fanfare. It was keeping him from his "pet". Serpentining through the mass, Thade found an opening and dashed for the gates of the city, yearning to return to Phallen; to feel safe again. To reveal the truth -- his love for her...                                                                                                    There was no time to open the gates as he raced, Godspeed, into them, the mare seeming to fly as she sailed over the top...

                                                    

     In the forest horse and rider had become one, flying the path as a bee to the hive...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The news spread like wildfire: Genral Thade had returned from the grave. The reports of his sightings rang through the Senate House sending the Council into a frenzy -- rushing to eachother's homes; first, one then the next until they had congregated after a half-dozen or so, all of them in a tizzy as they bustled to the State House to incorporate an emergency hearing.                                                    Receiving the summons was no surprise to Attar. What-with that big exhibition Thade had presented there was no wonder this was to come. Taking the summons from the purser Attar smirked. "The little bastard."                                       Now he had to think. Disclosing how long Thade had been back, well that could be condensed. Describing a change in attitude? Piece of cake. Explaining how he had run off in pursuit of a human?  Attar shook his head. He had a headache. Better to keep his mouth shut and see if that one surfaced. He was hoping, maybe, it would not...

                                                       

            The court-room was filling fast as the citizens crammed the public seating section, intrigued by the sudden appearance of their own, once revered, leader. The doors swung open again and again and the hall filled to standing-room-only capacity.      Flanked by their own soldiers, Commander Attar and Corporal Omri stood before the bench when the announcement for all to rise rang from the bailiff. It was as if on cue the two officers tugged at their tightening collars, watching as the Coucil filed into the court-room, their black robes neatly pressed and pristine flowed about sandaled feet until lifted briefly to ascend to the dais. Shuffling past the chairs of their peers each superior settled into thier own, glancing furtively out on the two nervous soldiers.                                                          54

     With the fall of the gavel, Senator Lantres announced, " This hearing is now in session."                                                                                                                    And as Council took their seats -  so did the citizens.                                           Perching a tiny pair of spectacles atop his simian nose, Langtree thumbed through the papers lying before him, stroking his beard incessantly as he came across some of the more interesting aspects listed therein.                                       "It has been brought our attention that Thade has returned," Senator Nado began, his great jowls jiggling with every word. "But it seems we have been the last to know. Can you explain how this may have slipped past you, Commander Attar?"                                                                                                                  Council heads swung in unison to the commander and corporal, scrutinizing them presumptuously while the two fought to remain cool and collected.                 "Commander Attar...?"  Sandar summoned.                                                       The gorilla snapped to attention, trembling in his guts; praying the question about to be posed did not involve that human."It happened so suddenly. He was weak. He needed rest."                                                                                          "And so to inform us slipped your mind?" 

     "Has HE lost his mind?"  Nado pressed.                                                               Lantres peered over the top of his glasses at the orangutan. "Have you? What sort of question is that?!"                                                                                         Puffing his chest out, Nado defended himself; "The kind that needs answered!"                                                                                                             "Indeed, you have no idea what ..."                                                                     Sandar's face turned a deep scarlet as he intercepted: "This is bullshit! We are not here to debate amongst ourselves! Save it for the library, gentleapes!"     His angry gaze jutted out to the "audience".                                                                    Humbly, Nado added softly, "We cannot have him going off half-cocked. It could endanger the city and all who live here."                                                         Langtree sighed deeply, stifling his inundation.With a much gentler approach, he petitioned; "Is it true Thade has returned?"                                                           Young Omri peered from under his thick brow. "Yessir."                                     "And will you describe his disposition? That is, in regard to how he WAS?"           One could almost hear a pin drop. Omri nodded, then, a curt smile skidded across his lips. " He is quiet within, sir."                                                                      Surreptitiously, Corporal Omri made eye contact with his Commander:    'Shut up, now! Shut up. Shut up'!  Attar closed his eyes from the stare, praying for a miracle.                                                                                                           "Can you be a bit more specific?" Nado pried, tipping his head inquisitively.          Attar awoke from his fantasy."He has found peace."                                             Nado leaned forward, elbows resting atop the mahogany desk. In his droll, lethargic way, Nado charged; "It is rumored that Thade was released and treated by a "Human."  Accentuating on the last word with an air of unpleasant disclosure.                                                                                                               The courtroom was abuzz; 'The General...? Most prestigious in upholding a pure culture... fraternizing with the very species he loathed?!     PREPOSTEROUS...'                                                                                               Senator Sandar's face grew harried before diving into his hands in despair, massaging his temples; 'Could this get any worse?' rambled in his mind as he shook his sore head. His daughter, Ari, had been betrothed to this "one"!              Choking back the tears, Sandar knew:   The engagement had ended long ago.     Still, maybe their differences could be worked out...                                                Attar and Omri looked to one another. It was time to speak out. Carefully selecting his words, Attar took the lead. "Indeed, he was freed by a human. His disposition, upon returning, has revealed a change. So, I cannot say it did not evolve from inter-species communication."                                                              Sandar leaned forward, clearly distressed by the news. "Where is Thade NOW?"  He demanded.

     (55 thru 58)

     "I do not know, sir."                                                                                             Just then. the doors swung open. All heads turned to see Thade as he entered. He paid no attention to the ogling crowd as their eyes followed him down the aisle. Upon reaching the bench Thade bowed tersely in respect.                                 It was quite obvious to the Council that he had, indeed, changed! He did not concern himself with the conflict about to arise, even though it was that which was about to convict him...                                                                                             He held himself proudly."Forgive my latness." He implored humbly.         

   58

     Senator Sandar shook his head. This was a sad day to him. His brow wrinkled in despair as he looked, sympathetically, for some support from his colleagues, but they all carried their own separate crosses."What are we to do with you, Thade?" Sandar asked.                                                                             The ex-General held his own when Omri went to speak for him; signaling with his hand for silence. "I am fine." He assured.                                                            With a hint of a smile, Thade took a stand, the boldness still gleaming in his eyes as they locked on the Council. Bring it on, boys, he dared, unruffled by the damning outcome. There was nothing else they could bring that he had not already seen, done, or been through.                                                                    "You already killed me," Thade retorted, scratching at his chin in mock-thought. "Perhaps you could admit your errors."                                                                   "Our WHAT?" Boomed.                                                                                     The whole room buzzed with excitement. There was going to be a fight. The gavel banged for order and the guards stepped in one pace to correct any discrepancies. Stealthily, Thade observed his surroundings. This could get ugly. I could make it so..."To send this into total bedlam will only take a few minutes, Sirs. Tell me, where shall I begin? With Senator Nado? We all know how he left his wife for the young, beautiful..."                                                                            "STOP RIGHT THERE!" Sandar exclaimed coming up out of his chair.               Thade waved for him to sit. "Now now, let's not get our robes wrinkled, FINE gentleapes. We ALL have faults."                                                                  The look on their faces was worth a thousand words and Thade revelled in it. He knew he was in contempt, but what-the-hell, what did he have to lose that he had not already?                                                                                                      "I will be the first to admit it!" He proclaimed, baring his soul for all to see. "Is it not true how we had all fallen to a false God? HE DOES NOT EXIST!"           "You are in contempt!"                                                                                            "Good. At least now you admit it" His eyes scanned the the court room passively. All which had pertained to his legacy had been stripped away from there, too, leaving bare walls and half-finished murals of nature; depicting peaceful forestry and calm blue lakes...                                                                    Blue lakes...                                                                                                    He recalled the paintings on the walls in Phallen's tree-abode...                            With a low, saddened tone, the chimp admitted, "I am a vulgar ape, but my passion for truth is not. And in my absence, I must admit I had no intention of returning until..."                                                                                                       All noises ceased as they hung on his last word. Langtree smiled warmly at Thade, leaning forward in a dreamy way, totally absorbed by the chimp's passion. "Until what?"                                                                                                   The gentle query floated across the room.                                                             Thade felt the heat in his cheeks when their eyes met."Until she told me to."      "Who is SHE? That HUMAN?" Nado charged bitterly. "A savage of the forbidden zone? Their skin not worth their weight in GOLD?! This bad-marsh (medieval: tyrant, despot) has rotted you."                                                              A disturbing shiver ran down Thade's spine. His face grew dark as he took one pensive steps toward the bench. "I MUST disagree." He said all-too-calmly.      The whole thing was beginning to take its toll on him. He was feeling bad and it was starting to show.                                                                                           59                                                               

     "She has stirred in me an emotion I have not felt for so long."                               "You speak as if you are in love with her." Nado jabbed.                                      Thade heard himself say: "I am..."  and he smiled intrepidly.                                   Try me now...                                                                                                     The silence was like the approach of a storm -- all still and silent, a whistle of wind followed by distant thunder, black clouds in the distance, rolling ever closer in its break...                                                                                                          'He's in love with a human...?!'                                                                            Thade glanced, nonchalantly, over his shoulder at the buzz. He did not give a shit and it showed on his face when he turned back.                                               "So, now what...?" He challenged, crossing his arms.. "Are you going to arrest me? Are you going to court-martial me? KILL ME?"                                              Staring in disbelief, Sandar uttered, "oh, Thade, what have you done?"                  He had known the General for years.                                                                 "You are walking such a thin line.Surly, you have taken into consideration, your future?" Nado injected sharply, noticing how upset Sandar had become.

   60

     Thade let go with a smirk. "FUTURE?" He cried. "I HAD no FUTURE!"     He turned resentfully. "I was left to die."     Stabbing a sharp digit over his shoulder beyond the public seating and into the abyss, he finished sharply, "THAT was my future."                                                                                                       All, except Langtree, hid their eyes. The sagacious Senator heard the sincerity in his "Godson's" voice. He rested his chin in his hands, focusing on his peers with unforgivable shrewdness.                                                                                       "You have taken away everything." Thade sighed heavily. "Perhaps you wanted me dead... Maybe to have left me that way would have been better."     From the youngest on the bench, Senator Yahn spoke; "Why?"                                 "Oh perhaps to carry on in one's blind way to a desolate future..." Thade surmised with cynical reprise.                                                                                    He surveyed his company coolly, taking over the rebelling spirit within; "She sent me back. She knew what was to come and now I defend it! Damn her and you damn me!"    

          "You were damned from the day you were born." Nado condemned.     Sandar reached out and clutched the orang's arm, casting a warning glance as he shook his head. "Oh, don't shush me. You know this is bullshit." Nado pulled away casting a scowl on his neighbor.                                                                          He leaned forward boldly blurting, "In time you will get over this infatuation."                                                                                                                                 Thade froze.                                                                                                       Infatuation?                                                                                                        His expression went from confusion to complete understanding. "You don't know anything." He calmly replied.                                                                           Nado scoffed. "Maybe it's you who doesn't."                                                      Sandar fumbled for words when he saw Thade slowly begin to walk away. "You know this is impossible. It is preposterous for you to even entertain such an idea."                                                                                                                      "I know, but I can't help it." He threw his arms up surrendering; not to them, but to the true feelings he held for Phallen. "I don't need this anymore."     Turning,Thade saw the emphatic expressions both Attar and Omri wore. He smiled wanly placing his hands on their shoulders as he passed between them.     "I'm sorry..."  he mouthed.                                                                           "Have you found this unusual being?"  Langtree's voice echoed passed him and Thade spun. "No."                                                                                                   "Well when you do, please, introduce us." Langtree requested.                           "I-I will."                                                                                                            Thade was out the door...

     

     61

     He was psyched and ready to roll. Lantres had opened a door for him with that comment and he was going to step through in all of his blazing glory. It scared the others, though. They knew this -- Phallen had gotten under his skin with trickery; they were sure, but to convince HIM that she had was not going to be easy. She was a part of him now...     "I will find you,my beloved. And we will be together."                                 II

     Glaring over at Lantres, Nado declared, "You have lost your mind."     The Senator grinned at the remark as he watched his Godson disappeare through the doors. "No," he said lightly before turning to his friend, "just delighted that he has found someone worth caring about."

    

     Slipping his foot into the stirrup, he heard the distant rumble of thunder. It fed his desire to break free from the city and from "their" condemnation. Only Lantres rang through and Thade knew that at that very moment he was being chastised for being honest in his petition for a meeting. The ex-General could not tell himself that it was unfair. In his field there were no second chances for redemption... except in his case. He was the only one strong enough to hold the enemy at bay. His strength alone was one to be reckoned with. He just happened to trust the wrong constituents at the wrong time, that was all...     Was it...?     'They turned their backs on you and you know it!'      Thade tasted the bitterness as it rose up into his mouth.      It was more resentment than desire that pushed him to the outside. There was only one for him and she was nowhere to be found.      Falling into his hands, Thade screeched. He wanted out and now!     The Senator's last words echoed in his head: "When you find her, please, introduce us"...     Lantres was family -- knowing Thade's father, and cared as much as the chimp's own father had. The sagacious Councilor had nothing to do with what had transpired in the past. In fact, he had been forwarned by Thade's father of his sons fall; to protect him from its repercussions;     "Weave him a net, for he WILL fall. Please be there for him. PLEASE, take care of my only son..."          "I am so tired." Thade said.     From his side, he heard, "You must rest..."     In a blur, he was escorted back to the compound...         

     As the last of the citizens filed out, the doors were locked behind them. Mingling in the crowd were the many airs declared; opinions of pro and con; If she would have never interfered, Thade would have come home - via - the rescue team; while the right-wingers stated that if it had not been for her, the General would have succombed to thirst and hunger along with the injuries sustained.     There was no closure no matter what they said or argued over.       What was done, was done. Period.     Oh how Sandar longed for Thade and Ari to be in love as they once were. But there was nothing there. He did not love her nor did she, he. Thade was in love with Phallen; a "wood-Sprite", an "elf", and, since she seemingly ceased to exist: a "Specter"! To have vanished so quickly, there was no other explanation. He needed to forget her -- to return to his awaiting empire...                                                                                          Convincing him that it was in his best interest was not going to be easy...               He loved her...

          III

      62-64

     ...Racing through the forest, anticipating how he was going to approach her, Thade knew he was going against everything he had learned. Still, the very effigy he desired -- which he normally hunted -- hid among the tall timbers.     Eerie stillness greeted him when he alit from the mare's back at the very tree he was resurrected from. No one answered. The door remained steadfast. Only the wind as it whistled knew he was there. He was too late. She was gone.He began to hyperventilate; the sense of loss hitting full force, creating a fury of sheer emotional turmoil.                                                                                            "N-n-o-o!!!" His fist hit the door in one massive blow springing it open to rattle on its hinges, crashing against the wall, reverberating through the rooms an empty response. Raising his muzzle into the air, a fading scent descended."It IS real!" He declared stepping in.                                                                                            It was all as he had remembered. One thing was missing: "Phallen?" He bared a vicious snarl as a snort of disgust released. It was his own fault; his own pontificating belief she would be there!Before he could think, his fist thrust through the door, splintering it in his rage."Oh shit..." cursed under his breath when he realized what he had done.                                                                 He could not hide the pain any longer. He had never encountered anyone as unselfish as she; to give to him --life. Having hidden his feelings for her only to find it to be too late to convey them killed him. 'I am so stupid!'                          How could she just "GO"?                                                                   "Phallen..." He moaned, losing himself in the past.                                          Was this really happening? How could he have been so taken by her? As if scanning a book for reference Thade's eyes darted to the ground.                   "What has she done to me!" His pondering, evoking the memory, left him hollow...void...A cut so deep in his soul only she could heal it...                           "I thought you set me free..." Softly spoke.                                                       To fall with reckless abandon... to lose himself in his wildest dreams... his passion... into her arms... safe again...                                                              She walked in his dreams, haunted him in his wake, her voice whispering in his ear...Thade clutched his head, begged for closure."Let it be so...!"                      'She promised to let go! She said I was alright and I was beautiful! She never said I would love her!' His memory badgered.                                            Searching for solace, his tear strained eyes fell upon a footstep in the soft ground. In one wide stride he crouched over it running a long digit over it before gathering the soil in his hand. Smelling it, he let it sift through his fingers as he stared out in the direction they took...                                                                                    "I know now..." 

                       

     ... Sitting up from a dead sleep, he looked around, his eyes adjusting to the darkness.Staring into the shadows a feeling of isolation crept over him sending a shiver down his spine. His quest was turning into a nightmare -- haunting his thoughts. It was a short click to madness.He already tried to burn it out. What next, CUT it out? 'There's an option for ya. That would solve everything. At least for you, you selfish bastard.'     His conscience had a way of working on him though he never showed it. He grew deaf to its wisdom after a time -- creating the "General" everyone feared yet admired.                                                      He had power...

     Had... It had a magic to it when he stopped and thought about it.      'You're listening now, aren't you? You were the Alpha and the Omega once.' His conscience chided.     There was nothing left. Everything he had strived for and succeeded in had been over-turned. Even Corporal Omri held more jurisdiction.      Burying his face in his hands, Thade knew it had all been lost forever...           65-66

                          IIII

     Burning the "Midnight Oil", the Council huddled in the library -- sharing a drink, along with their views on the episode that had unfolded hours ago. Leather-backed law books laid open -- several volumes thick -- each one turned to a section delaring the ban of inter-species relations -- dating back even before Thade's father.                                                                                               The ink, so faded, took a magnifying glass just to read, their last search  lay atop the volumes, for they had gone over the sections again and again  in a fever to find closure for their General. They all ended with the same sad conclusion:      Thade would have to give up one or the other...Period.                                        67

     The most recent encryptions penned in the books were by Thade's father, Kalib (Kah-leeb)-- scribbled within as if in haste or anger. He had his moments now and then and by the way the quill seemed to have dug into the parchment, it was turmoil.They had faded considerably in the past forty-some years...     Raising his glass to pug nostrils, Nado sniffed the brandy's woody aroma..."It is not wise to encourage him." He addressed.                                                   With his own glass in hand, Lantres waved him off, rebutting, "Thade is not unlike his father was at his age. And you must take into consideration that he IS growing older -- no longer an apprentice, but a full fledged leader." The Councilor leaned for his pipe and tobacco. "And..." He continued, cutting Nado off rudely and not giving a damn, "I do believe he wants to settle down now. He definately had time to think things through and he's a better ape for it. Sometimes one must fall and fall HARD to see their misdeeds."                                                             Sandar threw his cards on the table. "But Lantres...Why a human? Has he taken leave of his senses?"                                                                                 Lantres shook his head and smiled while studiously preparing his pipe. "To answer your last question first, he has not lost his mind as some insist on thinking," Looking up momentarilly to see the wrinkled orang's beady eyes boring into him. "As for your first question -- ask him." Striking a match, he puffed persistantly until the smoke burled into his mouth."I don't have a problem with this." He noted after blowing the smoke out gently. "As for the rest of you, well, if you really want him here, you should start biting your tongues or vote to exile him."                      Sandar peered worriedly to Nado, who, in turn raised his brow. They were in a quandry as to risk allowing Thade to have his way or to begin the due process of exiling him from the city and all who inhabit its limits.                                    Nado was feeling the brandy. His lips became looser by the minute: "I vote we recruit some bounty hunters to track this THING down and cut her heart out."                                                                                                              "Oh you are disgusting!" Lantres charged. "How did you end up on this panel -- the flip of a coin, or a bribe?!"                                                                       Sandar's mouth fell open, his face turning ghastly white."SENATOR!" He admonished.                                                                                             Lantres clamped his pipe firmly in his teeth. If he had bitten any harder on the stem it probably would have snapped in two as he leered across the table.     Someone had to bring the peace back and the most unlikely candidate spoke humbly.                                                                                                   "Perhaps I am being hasty in my decisions." Nado apologized.                   Lantres tipped his head in acceptance, although he was still upset. "Perhaps then you could give us some insight."                                                             "Imprison him." Nado croaked. "Put him back where he was."                       That was it for Lantres. His fists hit the table shaking everything upon it and he was on his feet in a flash ready to tear the orangutan a new asshole.                 "NOW NOW! Let's not get out of hand. We need to keep our mouths shut: Senator Nado!" Sandar mediated, rising up out of his own seat to keep the two separated.                                                                                                 Nado's feather's had been ruffled by his own obtrusiveness as he went to stand. "Should we divulge what we know of Kalib?"                                           Lantres' pointed his pipe at him. "YOU DO and it's your ass!"                            "This is getting us nowhere. Please just sit down and let's be civil." Sandar begged them. "I am trying to remain calm and if you two do not stop I will use my seniority to have you both jailed."                                                                 They both realized how ridiculously out of hand it had gotten.It had been a long and trying day for everyone and to have been behaving as they had only seemed to make matters worse. Locking of horns was not going to solve the dilemma -- unification would, though -- if they could get past their differences.                  Lantress extended his hand. "I'm sorry, Senator."                                         Nado chuckled to himself before taking the hand. There were words flung in anger but nothing could really break a brotherhood built in trust.                    "No, Sir, I apologize. I know how you love Thade and to say the things I had was improper. Not only did I disrespect you, I disrespected everyone including myself and my own belief for freedom and liberty."                                             A warm embrace and a couple of claps on one another's back resolved the whole misunderstanding. Unfortunately the task at hand still awaited resolution.     "We know Thade, right?" Lantres addressed, waving his pipe in inclusionary rite. "There is a change in him -- a conclusion. And if it is due to this "interest", I have no qualms about it."                                                                                  Sandar took a drink of his brandy, its warmth spreading through his cold bones, numbing the pains associated with growing old.                                              "But she is nowhere to be found. In a way that's a good thing. The only problem with it is to convince Thade that it is. Not to open wounds, but should we talk to him about Kalib?" Nado stepped pensively over egg shells with his last query knowing how sensitive Lantres feelings were.                                                     "I know him. Let me talk to him alone."  Lantres addressed.                                 Swirling the brandy around in his glass, Nado stared into it, hynotized. "How do you think he will take it?"                                                                            Lantres stared at the floor shaking his head. "I don't know..."  He looked up gravely, at his peers: "I really don't."                                                                 IV

..."I will take you back with me..."                                                                  She awoke with a start, sitting up from her slumber on the beach - his pensive words preying upon her dream-state - to break into the conscious realm as she gathered her senses.                                                                                        He was haunting her.                                                                                   There was an atunement piercing through the distance. His inner-most sentiment crept over her, came to "claim" her as his very own.                                          "He won't cross the water." Phallen assumed. "He can't."  She knew chimpanzees could not swim, therefore the spanse was stretched much further between them. Why he insisted on trying to find her stymied her. There was not a chance in hell they would be accepted anywhere. Besides, he barely knew her. Or did he?      Hearing the distant rumble of thunder was nothing new, but this time it frightened her. Something had trailed her -- either by thought or physical form. Standing motionless, she listened.                                                                                        Silence. Not even the wind blew.                                                                  "This is going to be a bad one." Running across the beach into the wood, Phallen raced the storm.                                                                                             The cabin loomed -- standing alone and peaceful among the conifirs -- untouched and over-grown. The door had swelled from humidity and squeeled loudly in protest when she pushed it open.                                                                   "I'm home!" She called knowing there was no one to answer.A sad sort of laugh eminated from seeing the place so dark and lifeless. The dust had settled on every flat surface, kicked up, now as she made her way across the living room. Unlatching the sash, Phallen pushed the shutters wide open allowing the rush of the wind to enter -- 'I remember doing this to cool your fever.'                  Allowing the breeze to embrace her, she fell into its caress -- lost in a kiss... "I will never forget you," whispered in her ear.Tears burned in her eyes from having to let him go. She had never felt such passion from anyone by simply kissing them. Electric passed through them when they had, bringing to life a "want".      'No... This is for the better. As long as we never meet again it will cease and we will go on in our own lives.' Common sense over-ruled...                      Engrossing herself for the task ahead, Phallen took in her surroundings.      'Has it been this long since my last visit?' By the looks and smell of it, her question had been answered. In a free-standing wardrobe she found dry clothing, protected from chewing intruders by a cedar lining. A loose tunic and a full length "patches" maxi skirt was good enough for the task at hand. cinching the shirt at her waist with a sash, Phallen went to work to make the cabin her new home. Covers protecting the furniture were tossed by the door revealing intricatly carved wooden tables depicting cherubs suckling rich grapes while the chairs recorded a history of two growing children -- their innocent faces shining through a rich layer of time and tung oil. Upholstered furniture, done in soft green brocato, accented the historic accessories naturally. Firewood still sat next to the hearth waiting to be kindled on a chilly night. Her feather bed, covered by a heavy canvas tarp, lay in wait. Pulling the heavy cloth off, gathering the thick cloth in a ball, she so wanted to just fall into it even though it needed fluffed and turned. Simply to lie on it and pretend she was a little girl again...                                                  Flipping the mattress was easy. Not to collapse onto it was not. Instead, a trip to the cupboards revealed that her tea, along with specially prepared botanicals, were as dry as the days were long.                                                    Comfortable enough that things were right, she returned to her bed and did fall into it, sinking into its softness like a lover's arms.                                  Exhausted from her swim,she fell asleep to the sound of the approaching storm, dreaming, again, of him coming for her, taking her away to a dark, nightmarish place as he breathed heavily on her lips. "I have hunted you down and now I will decide what becomes of you..."    

               

    "What could convince him to abandon his ideas?" Nado leaned up in his chair grasping the decanter in long, lax fingers.                                                        The others shrugged, looked uncertainly at one another, seeking but not finding a solution.

                                             

"He'll screw it up." Omri surmised.

Attar slammed his beer.  "Shut up and give him a chance."

     "He's a gonnar." Omri predicted before taking a drink.
     "You're out of your mind. Go back to the tree you fell out of."
     The commander swaggered from the bar leaving the corporal by himself, resigning from the fact that if Thade did not come out or let him in he would pull the chimp out and drag him - kicking and screaming - to the cantina.
     Anything to get him out of that hole he had dug and burrowed into...

    Attar's fist shook the door. "Open now or I'm breaking it down!"
    There was a few seconds of silence then the sound of the lock tumbling back. Thade opened the door wide, sweeping his arm in a gesture to enter. Attar ambled past heading straight for the nearest seat which he fell into drunkenly.
     "Are you alright?" Thade asked, closing the door.
     "Never better!" He replied highly. "It is to you that the same question is posed. Where have you been?"
     The chimp smirked as he made his way to the chair across from his friend, " All but here." he answered.
     Attar clasped his hands together. "Don't lose so much time on her. She is not worth it."
     Thade shook his head. "I want to waste my time on her."
     Attar snorted, "Why is she so caught up in your heart? Surely she has run to her tribe."
     "She has no tribe." Thade said smoothly.
     "No tribe?! All humans have tribes. Who protects her?"
     Thade looked up from beneath his brow. "The forest protects her. That's all."
     "It's time to forget her. You don't eat, barely sleep, and you never leave here! I implore you, Come out with me."
      But the plea fell on deaf ears. Attar nudged him. "I'm sorry,what?" the General said.
     "Get out of this room!" Attar declared.
     Thade shook his head and sank back into the suspended chair. "I really am not up to it so do not try to convince me. My friend, I do not wish to be anywhere if she is not with me."
     "Come now, describe her to me. What makes her so special?"
     That was all he needed to hear, plunging into describing his human in detail. What she was, how she was, and the tenser mercy she integrated by caring for and after him.
    
     "You grant much credit but she is still but a human." Attar belittled.
     With a smile, softened by the memory of her embrace, Thade replied, "Oh you will see, my friend. I will find her," He sighed deeply, awakened by a new sense. "That is my goal. To be with her again is all I need."
     He may have been three sheets to the wind but the words ushering forth from his former superior were so foreign that Attar could not help but think Thade had been twisted from his detainment at Calima.
     "But she's human." he argued with almost a whimper.
     Thade glared across at him intensely. ""I know that."
     "You hate humans!"
     "Not her..."
     "You say she is different. What spell has she cast upon you?"
     Thade laughed, knowing there was no magick. "Please! There was no sorcery, except, maybe, if you consider compatibility a link to spells. She was there when no one else cared."
     And as he thought about the whole thing, his face turned red as anger rose. Hovering on the brink of fury, thinking about how he had been left to die, his words were hard pressed. "I had fallen. That was my destruction. In that, no one came to me. I was left to die alone at Calima."
     Staring past the gorilla's shoulder, at the door, waiting for the word Go from Omri who had been searching secretly the out reaches of the forest, Thade sat on the edge of his seat.
     Eyes still fixed on the door, Thade's voice was distant. "She loved me. LOVED ME! Do you understand that? She rushes through my veins. Do you know how true love feels?"
    His words were so passionate that Attar could not help but to respond. "Do you hear yourself? You cannot be serious!"
    They both sat in silence for some time before the commander concluded, "She is untouchable."
    Thade shook his head, "No," he stated. "Just so damned far away."

                                  

    
        Zephyrs cooled the streets bringing much needed reief from the heat of the day. With all of the rain, it had made it almost unbearable to function in the daily tasks of just getting up and going to one's job. Now, the cooled air was welcomed, bringing them out onto patios and doorsteps to feel it.     Lantres looked up at the night sky. Blackness was stealing across the blue velvet sky, robbing the city of its moonlit passages.     This was a powerful storm moving in.     He dreaded the rainy season.

     Passing eight-foot torches, lit by the lightkeepers an hour before sunset, the senator hurried for the army compound as the trees bowed and swayed in the conopys. The zephors had turned to chilly gusts, blowing leaves and loose paper across his path. This was going to be a good one, he knew, when lightning strung across the sky followed by a low shuddering rumble. Again his eyes went to the patches of heaven through the canopy -- the resinate command for attention quaking, seemingly, right over him, evoking memories of the past -- the floods, mudslides -- taking whole communities in one awesome deluge of nothing short of a catastrophy -- wiping out half of the mountain-side...half of the people.     So many lives were lost in that disaster...    

     Seeing the brightly lit enterance of the compound, Lantres hastened his steps. He felt a little more at ease knowing he was about to enter those gates and be in a safe sturdy building before the malestrom released.     The sentries snapped to attention when he approached, pulling the doors open in stiff formation.     "I need to see Thade." Lantres requested, locking his fingers behind his back.     "YESSIR!" One of the ape soldiers chirped, wise to the coming storm and more than happy to escort the Senator.      Lantres tipped his head courteously, falling in behind the heavily barded chimp.     The maze of corridors held not a single remnant from "The Lagacy". Witnessing the barren walls, the senator could not help but grieve for Thade. He could only imagine what went through his Godson's mind when he saw that his world had been ripped from his fingers.      Unable to look upon the sterile walls any longer, Lantres kept his eyes on the shadow of his escort, following blindly past great rooms and empty mess halls, a morose frown deepening on his face.     Iron torches luminated the passage-way casting disfigured, flickering lite onto the pristine walls. It was making the senator more and more upset as they wound deeper into the once beautiful compound.  What Thade and his ancestors had created had been chipped away, tossed into fire, stolen for its worth...Destroyed...

     Coming up to a curve, laughter greeted. Some of it reaching near the din of a roar, only to halt immediately when the Senator rounded the corner. Choking back their laughter, the trio of gorillas stood at attention respectively as Lantres passed - the Senator's escort eyed them uneasily, his gaze trailing while he merged.      Lantres did not look up, though he did smile once he  had gotten beyond their sight;     'To be that young again!'     Those three soldiers had no idea how badly he would have loved to join in -- to have marked his visit by the mirth and merriment they so enjoyed.     Oh to be that free of worry...     His smile soon faded as they reached their destination. At the end of the hall was Thade's quarters.     Soot surrounded the door for which he was heading, bringing a myriad of questions to mind the closer he got.      Rapping firmly at the door, the stocky chimp announced; "Sir, Senator Lantres wishes to see you."     At first there was no response. Then a most violent sound of breaking glass and ripping cloth came before the door opened.     Thade peered from behind the door -- teeth bared and prepared to defend himself.     "I have said all I am going to say! Leave me!"     Thanking his escort, Lantre pressed into the door; "I NEED to talk to you NOW."      Thade shot a glance over the old chimp's shoulder before granting him admittance, feeling threatened now that it seemed everyone knew of his "pet".     With a wide gesture, Thade bade him to take comfort in the most welcoming seat. As Lantres sat, he smelled the air.     "Something burns." Lantres proclaimed once he caught the smoky scent. 'Check your ..."     "It was my fault, My Dear Godfather... No one else's... Not yours, mine or Phallen's,,,"     Thade peered hard into Lantres' eyes.  "I had fallen under the influence."    The Councilor eyed him suspiciously, having already heard the confession once... "Tell me again." he refreshed.     Thade turned the lock and strode into the room, closing his eyes -- wishing he had nevever came back...     "I know why you are here..." And he plopped down in the seat adjacent from Lantres' "comfy" chair.     Sinking into his own, Thade kicked his legs out, crossing his feet at the ankles.     Waving his hand, Thade reminded; "You are wasting your time."

   76                Lantres raised his hands in defense: "I never said for you NOT to retrieve her, Son!"     Catching Thade's wavering attention -- making the ape realize his purpose, Lantres stressed, "There is something you need to know, though..."     "It does not matter why." And Thade turned away in a huff, his brow furrowing.     Leaning forward, Lantres stared him in the eye. "You have to hear ME!"     Seeing his young squire settle, the Senator relaxed; 'Good... I have his attention...'     "It will change you forever." He said aloud.     Motioning to the decanter that sat among the clutter on Thade's desk, Lantres could not help but notice the blackened cinders.     Thade caught the sideways glance but did not bother to explain. With all of the "big mouths" in the compound, he was sure Council would hear of his drunken escapade sooner or later.     "Nothing you say can change my mind." He plainly said, caring not what Lantres had to say.     "It may..." He replied cooly. "Pour two and sit with me."     "I have had enough." Thade shot, though he obliged his elder by retreiving the decanter and a glass.     Observing the shaking hands as it poured, Lantres chanced a glance at his Godson. "You will need one..." He warned accepting the crystal from his hand.     Thade backed into his chair with anticipation. What their discussion was about to reveal was serious.     "I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. I should have stayed away."     Sulking in his own sympathy, there was no reasoning with him. His stubbornness held.      "Answer me one..." Lantres dealt gently...

     

     Phallen sat up from a dead sleep.     Thunder rolled above as if seeking the cabin -- shaking its contents... "I will find you. I will bring you back with me...!"     She thought she heard the low growl of his voice as the storm broke.     His hands touched her. His caress -- passionate when he took her back in his arms and held her close as if to never wanting to let go...     "I will never forget you..."     Warding the words off, the embrace remained. Thay had shared that and his feel lingered still.     One emotion she could not dismiss had passed between them like an electrical surge. And if Thade could not keep that for his very own, then there was nothing left for him...     He needed her...     She did not...     In her eyes, Phallen had not realized any of his advances; the shaking, the apprehension...     "He felt nothing."      Staring out at the distant lake, she wished to believe her own words.     "He is where he belongs."     Lightning blinded her...

               "Do you remember your mother?"     Thade dipped his head, peeking surreptitiously from his reclined position. "She died shortly after my birth." He responded, squirming, uncrossing his feet only to counter-cross them. "All I know is what my father told me: that she was beautiful... a gentle soul."     Lantres could hear Kalib speaking and he shuddered.      "Yes..." He acknowledged. "I was there."     Thade sat up suddenly, interested more than ever.     "Your father was elated. He had a son. And by the woman he adored."     The old chimp smiled as if in triumph for Kalib, beaming at Thade as he continued; "I see so much of him in you."     "How did my mother die?" Thade asked pensively.     "Oh, Thade..." Lantres groaned. It was obvious Kalib had never disclosed to him how his mother had died, and now it was placed upon his shoulders to try to explain. With a heavy heart, Lantres extended his hand clutching Thade's.     "She died giving birth to you..."     If he looked away the words would be gone. At least Thade wished they would have. But they struck him hard, hurting him worse than any wound sustained in battle. The anger in his pain exposed itself, as he lowered his eyes, the tears falling freely, spilling down his cheeks, salty on his lips. He hid his face, hooded beneath the burdened brow -- refusing to look up.     "Your father never told you because he never wanted you to feel responsible."      Lantres took the last of his drink in one gulp feeling its effect as he offered up a second to Thade. He took it in trembling hands, tears falling into the glass as he held it between shaking knees. Now he wanted to be alone. Wanted it to all stop and go away...     "He loved you so much..." Lantres consoled. "SHE loved you."     Watching the disgraced General grapple the unfolding truth, the old ape fell silent.      Thade closed his eyes, feeling he had killed his mother.     "Thade...?" Lantres called softly, bending to look at him. "It was not your fault."     Thade shook his head. "Why are you telling me all of this?"      Taking his hands, Lantres stared him dead in the eye.      "Your mother was human..."     Thade's breathing became erratic. A feeling of unsoundness overcame him, as it had when he had realized there was no way out of his cell back at Calima -- imprisoned, detatched, numb,even physically ill.     The glass fell from his hands shattering between his feet. All he could picture was his beloved Phallen...     "This is too much!" He breathed falling back into his chair, hands covering his face in horror.     "Is there ANYTHING else I have NOT been told?" His words came, muffled by his own hands.     "You love your Phallen and you cannot deny it." Lantres seemed to warn.     "Yes..." Thade admitted. "But she has flown. I don't believe she feels the same."               77-80

     "If she has done for you all that you profess, her feelings are just as rich."     Resting a weathered hand on his Godson's knee, he urged, "Go and find her! This passion is alive in you. Don't let it slip away."     Pointing his long index finger at Thade's heart, Lantres added, "Do not allow yourself to become bitter." And he crossed Thade's chest. "There is a calmness here. A patience cultivating. Let it grow."     The ex-General knew where his strength laid -- in Phallen. To have her by his side he could rein as mightily as a king, bring forth a powerful force of protection for what he loved... his people and her.     The aged Senator sensed the new energy -- the confidence -- as it rose in his Godson.     "I want this..." Thade declared, a steely glaze creeping over his sorrow. "Entrust me to lead again."     "You have always had my blessings. Convincing the rest, well, that may take some ass-kissing on your part. Sandar thinks there may still be a chance that you and Ari will reconcilliate."      The ire that was building came to an abrupt halt at the mention of her name. Thade's eyes lifted, softening; "Is she alright?"     Lantres nodded slowly.     "Did she ever...?" Then he waved the query off.      "Never mind. If there was anyone, I hurt her most of all."     Oh, but how he had loved her. The flame that had once burned their eternal love, had since, been snuffed, extinguished by sheer indifference. Bitter feuds -- never resolved, never forgiven -- were left to die as he had been, at Calima...     "There IS no future in the past, Son." Lantres counciled.     Looking into the old ape's eyes, Thade saw an ally.     "FIND her, Thade."      He smiled secretly at Lantres. "I'm working on it."

              

     The moons hung low, casting their silver two-dimensional paths onto the waters when Phallen stepped from the shadows of the trees  into their light. Rich, wet smells of earth hung heavily on the air, dredging up the stench of earthworms and other loam-dwelling insects turning the soil.        Silently, Phallen stood at the water's edge letting it lap lazily over her feet as she slipped her garment from her shoulders to let it drop. Her tiny frame waded into the water, releasing the days work...     It mattered not what he did, anymore. If he took up with an "old flame" or a new love, as long as he was happy, she was happy FOR him. Her world had not changed. She remained the same. After all, many weeks had passed and she felt sure that Thade had re-established himself... found among his species, a mate...      Floating, dreaming, recalling their embrace, something cooed he was not over her. She sunk under trying to drown the notion only to emerge near the opposite side of the lake. Listening to her own breathing, Phallen watched as heat lightning danced among the clouds... She never felt so alone...     'Why is this so different?' Her life had always been a solitary existence.     Questions no one could answer; answers to questions she did not want to hear...     'If we had been meant to be, we would still be together.'     Night-birds shrieked, fleeing suddenly from the tree-lined hills. She twirled, watched motionless...nothing.

     81-82

     Warily, she dove under swimming back, aware that someone was watching -- hidden on that hill among the trees and orchard grass.     Wading up onto the beach, the warm air met her skin creating a mist which rose from her like a spirit. The long jet hair streaming about her dripped with an almost blue hue...     No wonder he had been so captivated!     She was breath-takingly beautiful for a human...     A mere five feet four and perfectly proportioned from head to toe...          The voyer crept up the hill, the image of a pure mystic lodged in their mind as they groped blindly for the reins to a tethered horse.     Racing back, her image so fresh, they wondered if she knew just who Thade was...

                                  The Senator and Thade had been talking for hours, the elder chimp had explained many things to Thade about his father and mother and how, it seemed, she was not unlike the human Thade had fallen in love with...     "A very bright human... One who did not run with a wild pack, but instead opted to learn to read and write. Staying close to the city to learn our culture, our way of life to replicate our life-style...     General Kalib (KAH-LEEB) had arrested her for trespassing, having never seeing her in the city before -- thinking that she was nothing more than a thief. Instead of turning her over to the slave-traders, though, he decided to have her domesticated. And his OWN humans were just the ones who could do it...     In such a large home, one would have thought she would simply blend in among the rest, but she didn't. I really don't think she ever could have. Not with her knowledge on the "Books of Semos".     Verse and chapter flowed from her, professing the words that she held so deeply in her own heart as we had in ours..."     Lantres took a sip of his drink, his mind fogged from the present...     "She had soon became Kalib's favorite servent, winning his affections. He called on her exclusively, to his den, to have her tend to his every whim no matter how frivilous. He knew there was something about her... A forgiveness...? An acceptance...? Maybe a longing to be one of us.     Nonetheless, she was his.                83-84

      It seemed she had been pardoned from having to do the task of chores the other "Domestic's" were forced to carry out. She was labeled "General Kalib's Whore"."     Lantres chuckled lightly...     "She was no "whore". There was no sexual foreplay going on. She was just so damned smart! And your father loved her intellect. Hours were spent in debate and things just simply developed.     He didn't see her as a human, but as a partner, a friend that he could tell anything to..."     Lantres focused on Thade; "Not unlike how you are with this certain "One."     Thade felt his cheeks grow hot; perhaps as his own fathers' had when he realized his own partiality lay in face-value...             Thade shivered. How could history have repeated itself so exactly...?     Kalib had let his guard down...     "He had become so taken by her -- falling deeper in love with each passing day."       Lantres took a deep breath.      "He was so taken by her." And his brow rose. "She was not average. She had the greenest eyes one could ever hope to look into. And her hair was thick, red and long, like your Phallen's.      Kalib had become obsessed with her. If anyone dared suggest she be removed from the house he went off, accusing them of being jealous -- only wanting to possess the  treasure he had uncovered.     He was right. They all wanted the trophy-girl...     Whether it be politics, the arts, or religion, she held her own in the argument. Not only was she rich in beauty, her knowledge was prolific, never falling short of a come-back or verse.     Thade sat on the edge of his seat. It were as if someone had been eavesdropping on he and Phallen by the way things coincided. Lantres gazed past him, reminiscent of the youth he held in those years... the reckless abandon they all seemed to throw about. Would he had done anything differently? The old ape shook his head at his own thoughts as he smiled. Examining his own hands, Lantres' eyes became melancholy. That was then...This was now...     Snapping back, he started as if prodded and uncrossed his legs to lean into the light...     "They married in the garden behind your father's house. There must have been two-hundred in attendance -- not to mention those watching from the gates...     And the reception...!" Lantres fell back in his seat throwing his arms over the arms of the chair, an air of exasperation flowing.     "I DO believe the whole city had celebrated that night."     All mirth aside, he said presumptiously, "I do believe she conceived on their wedding night."     "Being a General in the army took him from her, leaving her to worry if she would see him alive again. There was no time to tell him she was with child, for he was there one day, gone the next, and it had never been discussed who the surrogate mother was going to be. She made everyone in the house swear to secrecy. No one was to tell Kalib about her condition.      "Returning from tours that took weeks to accomplish, Kalib would always bring her gifts from the far away places -- embroidered robes of silk, lacy necklaces sparkling with gems, exotic oils which evoked a passion for life...             85

     Now, Khet was not revealing her secret, physically or verbally...YET, having her alternative motive waiting until Kalib's next tour left -- to terminate the pregnancy before it was too late...     Confiding in her simian friend, Khet had no idea she was married to a Commander. Fearing for the fetus, the young ape told her husband, who, in turn revealed to Kalib what Khet was intending. Without notice, Kalib returned home at once, infuriated. The front door flew open imbedding the handle into the plaster wall...     "K-HET...!" Lantres did his best to imitate without raising his voice too much.     "They said he was heard all the way into the city.     Running, hiding -- everyone vanished and the house fell silent as he made his way to the parlor. She would surly be in there...     The clock on the mantle ticked a heart-beat way...      His temples throbbed...     He had to get her...     It was out of hand now...                    Sniffing the air, Kalib followed the scent of her perfume, his armor creaking with every step. His breathing was heavy and labored as he drew closer. Terrified, Khet bolted from her hiding place, blocked by his presence, from the front door that was still stuck fast in the wall.      Lashing out, he missed by inches,startling a yelp from her as she flew past with a leap. The only place where she felt she could find refuge was his den. Surly he would not destroy anything in there -- his collection -- his artifacts... his life-story...     The door slammed open at once changing her mind in that instant as pictures crashed to the floor, their glass shattering, tearing the parchments that were once encased therein, their ancient literature turning to dust as air hit them. Blinded by rage, he stepped through the glass, forcing the door shut behind him, causing a cabinet of rare pipes to tremble from the seal.      Khet was cornered.      "You..." He snarled, closing in on her, his face red with rage.     She darted to her right nearly getting past him, but his movements were much faster, blocking her way and sending her sailing back against the wall. Bearing down on her, Kalib stood over her, his breath hot on her face as he pinned her.     "It was an accident...!" She cried, her tears dropping to the floor as she tried to explain.     There was no intention on her part to carry the child full-term... but to have it terminated...     Kalib was insane from this information. She was going to kill his child?!     The General saw red. Blind with rage, he went into a tirade, destroying the den, sending Khet fleeing from one corner to the next, nearly being struck with a heavy chair he threw -- breaking out the full-length stained glass window.     Facing her, his knuckles popped as his hands curled tightly into fists. Spinning, he smashed his fists atop the glass cabinet that held the pipe collection...     "You would KILL MY CHILD?!" He shrieked.     He whipped back around and in one bound was upon her, snarling from this news -- this revelation.     "You would do that to ME?"      By this time Khet was hysterical. To justify her purpose came in great sobs, how she had thought he had not wanted a child from her, but to pro-create with a surrogate -- of his own species...          86-87          "I didn't know..." She wept.     Her shame, as if she had done something terribly wrong glowed in her tears.      Kalib froze.      "Oh my love, what have I done?"     Falling to his knees, he buried his face in her robes, sobbing.     "FORGIVE ME!" He begged.      His hands went to her belly, embracing the life which grew there.      Resting his head there, he listened, beseeching; "This life that grows in you... PLEASE... Do not take it from me."                                                                          Lantres raised his brow... "Well, you know..."     The aged chimp reclined uneasily, genuinely upset over having to recall that piece of the story. He swallowed dryly staring into his empty glass.      Obediently, Thade re-filled it,pressing as he sunk back into his chair, "Please, continue..."     Nodding, the Senator took a long shot from his filled snifter, releasing the vapor in a long silent whistle.      Focusing back, his recollections opened like a book...     "Kalib's anger faded. They had misinterpreted one another's ideals. Luckily, he had caught her just in time -- revealed to her his desire for her to carry his children...his "genetic seed"..."     Thade peered at Lantres inquisitively. "Genetic Seed?"     "There is so much more than I can tell you, Son. This is but the tip of the icebergh."     A shiver seemed to travel through the both of them at once when the lamp abruptly went out leaving them in total darkness.      Thade leapt from his chair, groping in the dark over his desk for the lamp and a match. Pins and needles coursed through his body when he struck it. The smell of sulfur wafted into his nostrils as he turned the wick in the lamp higher -- hearing the sound of a raging storm for the first time.     A brighter glow filled the room, chasing the ghosts and phantoms from their darkened corners. Thade fell back in his chair -- physically and mentally beaten -- wanting to hear it all before totally losing his mind...     "As the months went by, Khet's pregnancy appeared to be as normal as any other. Menial tasks, though, became harder to accomplish in her third tri-mester. Kalib stayed by her side constantly, never leaving, tending to every need no matter how it vexed her to remain idle...To watch him.     She loved him for it.     Then, in the night, it had begun... Khet went into labor. Sending for the doctor and mid-wife, the house was a bedlam. Everyone was running about and shouting. Khet's personal servent, whom she fondly called "Options", stayed with the couple as they waited for the doctor.      The pain of labor must be excruciating. And for poor Khet it must have been even worse. Every time she cried out Kalib said his skin crawled. All he could do was cradle her head in his lap, assuring her that she was going to be alright -- that their child was coming.     The doctor arrived huffing and puffing while taking the stairs two and three at a time.     Preparing to examine her, he pulled the covers back and gasped. A great red stain was growing...'I think you should leave, Kalib', his voice shaky. Not on his life! His child was about to be born and he was going to be there with Khet when they were; end of argument..."     Thade did not like where it was going, but endured the pain, conscious of the bitter end to come.     "Things didn't go well for Khet. She was hemorrhaging. It took everything she had to bear the child, who was born kicking and screaming... Then there you were."          88-89

     Lantres shuddered, took in a guarded breath, appearing as if he had revealed something that should never have been uttered twice.      Holding his breath, the Senator tipped his head inquisitively at the sound coming from his Godson. Thade was devastated. Doubled over, trying to hide his mortality, it broke through his world without prejudice, tearing down his defenses, stripping his self-importance, and sending raw emotion to the surface without mercy.     Lantres put his hands on Thade's shaking shoulders, trying to comfort him. "Are you alright?"     Thade could not speak, nor move.     "Perhaps tomorrow we could continue..."     "No..." Thade croaked collecting himself, wiping shamelessly at his eyes. "I'm alright."      They sat in silence for a time, both in fear of what lay in eachother's eyes now that bravery and chivalry had been pushed aside.     "Please..." He asked. "I need to know..."     Lantres tugged at his beard nervously while he studied Thade. With a terse nod, he sighed. "Are you sure?"     "Yes..."

     "Watching his beloved struggle tore at his heart -- bearing his son -- her desperate attempt to keep from crying out...     "I heard her from the study... That last gutteral groan to bear you -- taking, in exchange, Khet.     "The bleeding was out of control. There was nothing the doctor could do. How to stop it was beyond his, or any doctors' knowledge, then...     'Stay with her', was all he said to Kalib.          "Handing the new-born to the Mid-wife, he sent them to only one other new mother who could help.     Kalib was in a state of shock. He could not understand how Semos could be so cruel as to give him a son, yet, on the same token, take from him his one true love..."     "Watching his beloved Khet fade away before his very eyes was almost more than he could bare. For Death to claim her after the countless times he had stared it in the eyes was beyond his comprehension clutching her against his body, denying the Reaper its victim.        90

     Calling her name softly, gently shaking her, Khet's eyes opened weakly, staring as blankly as a doll's eyes, into his... No depth... No sweet refrain..."     Lantres shook his head sadly, wiped at a tear rolling down his cheek...     "He was lost...     To never feel her embrace again...     Staring into her empty eyes, he shook her... Nothing there... The green eyes hazed over -- beyond reach; shock-driven... Blank.     She was limp in his arms. I like to think that somewhere, deep inside of her, there was a WANT...     But Khet could not recover. Her life-blood was all but depleted as she lingered on her last breaths; growing ghostly white...     Kalib felt how cold she was becoming, holding her against his warm body. He was going to lose his soul-mate...      "She held on for two days; so ashen..."     Lantres' breath hitched, feeling the loss all over again, for his comrade.     "Never regaining consciousness, Khet died in his arms, slipping quietly away."      "He could not let her go; the truth pounding in his heart when he felt her leave her body...     A howl -- something I had never heard, nor care to hear again, erupted out of his chest,like a demon from hell.  His tears fell on her face -- in the sockets of her eyes, making it appear as if she, too, were weeping creating a morbid portrait..."     "He could not release her, begging for just a little more time. "Rocking her, he was left alone to say farewell, his words of devotion falling on deaf ears while brushing the auborn hair into place, staring down into the beautiful sleeping face, realizing her eyes would never open to his again...     "One can understand the mourning process. It takes time to come to terms with the loss of a loved one. But Kalib was showing no sign of letting go, and the doctor was concerned for him. He had to take the body, but the General refused to surrender it.     "Twenty-four hours was long enough. Khet's body was beginning to show decay...     Speaking to General Kalib's Second-in-Command, Solo, he explained the circumstances; how it had to be...     "It was a gruesome picture when they entered the suite... 'It's time to let go'...     "A curt gesture and the soldiers entered.      Prying fingers, pulling arms, and dog-piling finally freed the corpse, now stiff and grey with rigormortis. It fell from the bed with a sickening thud; retaining its huddled position, the blood lost, now thickly brown...     "Holding Kalib down took five of the strongest gorillas as the undertaker removed her body."     Lantres chewed anxiously at a troublesome cuticle...     "Those of us who stayed for support, heard his foreboding pacing above... To and fro, to and fro as Khet was taken away.      "Kalib was catatonic. I was positive I had lost a brother that night...     "When Commander Solo descended the stairs, I begged him to stay with Kalib. 'I was afraid for his life', I admitted, although I knew that by saying it could have ended my friend's career in the army.      "Solemnly, Solo understood and remained with his Superior, attending, but not interfering when Kalib vented, condemned, or destroyed whatever he came into contact with..."     "Bouncing off the walls, pulling dressers face down with a tremendous crash, Kalib was balistic. Taking up a rod, he set out on a journey of destruction, swinging dangerously at whatever lay in his path, disintegrating it with one mighty swing until there was nothing left but the tapestries. Winging the thick piece of wood through the stained-glass window, he leapt upon them, hanging by their anchors until his weight pulled them from the wall, shredding them to pieces. The darkened pool of Khet's blood on the bed only fed his rage as he clawed through the sheets, grabbing the mattress and throwing it through the broken window. To stare at the mural-tapestry at the head of the bed, having concentrated on its intricacy in his passion for "Her", Kalib tore at it savagely; the beads sewn around the edges, broke away, bouncing and rolling to all corners of the room..."          91-92

     "It sounded as if a cyclone was trapped in that room. In fact, there was. Its name was Kalib, and it was on a rampage..."     Lantres felt for his satchel, probing for his pipe and tobacco. It was time for a smoke...      Concentrating on packing the pipe just right, he ventured a look to his squire. Thade was stunned beyond speach -- or any visible emotion. A cold affirmation crept over the ex-General. He comprehended more than what Lantres was relating...     Great halo's of smoke encircled Lantres' head as he puffed persistantly...     With a mild, tobacco influenced reply, the aged ape continued...     "As suddenly as the first crash had occured, all noises ceased. And we held our breath. Surly, General Kalib had thrown himself out the window!"     "Or had been halted by Commander Solo..."     "Something much stronger held General Kalib...      A distorted mask of frenzy changed suddenly... Coming face-to-face with the portrait of he and Khet...     Her painted eyes never looked so alive...!     They looked out at him telling him to calm his fury; to let him know how much she had loved him... And as he gazed into those green, painted eyes, he fell to his knees, bawling like a child...     "'I beseech you!' He cried, his hands clasping tightly together before falling to the floor in a heap..."     Puffing profusely, Lantres hid his remorse behind his pipe smoke. There was no way to conceal it after witnessing his friends' loss; and to behold the crumbling of Thade's world -- possibly due to Kalib's weakness -- well, the story had been told...     "She lay in state, dressed in her wedding gown..."     "Looking as if she were but asleep when Kalib kissed her lips once more..."     'Goodnight, my Beloved...' He cooed on her cheek...     A young "Secretary Lantres" offered comfort, only to be coldly turned down.     There would be no condolences for the "love" lost. Her life--ending-- took from General Kalib a whole sequence to the answers of what life meant; leaving him bitter...    

                     

       He cursed the days wasted there.      Sitting in the dark the words played back -- the scene Lantres described laid dead at his feet...     Miles away...     Even as he spoke aloud to himself the words fell to a whisper for fear his own ears heard: "My mother was human"...     For whose sake had Kalib kept the secret!?     "Is this why I find myself attracted to Phallen...? Because I have HUMAN blood in my veins?"     Thade sat at his desk, his fingers coiling tightly into his hair, pulling, releasing his rage upon himself while curses spat...     "I am UNTOUCHABLE!"     Fingers explored the deep creases returning to his face...     'Help me...' Prayed.     Darker than any moonless night -- blacker than the day his father had died -- total shame fell on him.     Suicide crossed his mind...     To take one's own life, whether it be a simian or human movement, was blasphamous, but Thade had contimplated it, tossed its pros and cons into the air. His world, as he knew it, was done. There was no God...     He fell beneath sin...      A breath escaped when he realized he had not been struck down due to his new belief...     "Oh,my pet..."      A knock on the door brought him crashing back to the here-and-now. Through closed lids, he turned his eyes, followed by a slow rise -- aching inside. He trod wearily across the darkened room wiping at his swollen eyes. Upon opening the door, Thade announced weakly, "I really need to be alone..." Ceasing in mid-sentence, his throat catching a lump as he swept them up in his arms...     "ARI...!"     She hung onto his neck, hugging him back -- sensing that his embrace was not yet willing to release.     "I am SO glad to see you." He sighed against her shoulder as he held her, closing his eyes against the tears.     For that moment the gloom faded granting, if only for those few seconds, a recess.     Putting her back on the ground, he gestured for her to come in.     'Help me, Ari! I feel I'm losing my mind.'     "I heard you were back." She smiled, her eyes scanning the dorm curiously, to fall upon the cinders next to the desk.     "Fire?" The girl-chimp queried.      Thade ducked boyishly from her gaze. "You-you could say that." He stammered lowly, a pencil-thin smile crossing his face.     Ari knew. Being a politician's daughter, she heard it all. Still, to keep mum was the best thing for this situation.      Placing her hands on her hips, she examined him up and down, tilting her head to one side as she caught the first sign of depression in his eyes. "Thade, what troubles you? And don't lie. I can always tell when you do."     He chuckled lightly shaking his head. "Yes, you can, my dear. As for my troubles, well, I really don't want to talk about them."     Ari agreed with a nod. "Tell me this though; are you alright? You look so sad. I've never seen you this way."     "Well, if you consider my plight as a GOOD thing, I'm actually elated. Perhaps my downfall has something to do with it. After all, I really am NOTHING now." He replied sarcastically.          93-94

     Crossing the room, he glanced over his shoulder. Ari stared back. With an obliging sort of move, Thade requested rebuttal...     "I can't blame you." She began slowly. "I can't blame you for anything. It wasn't your fault. To point a finger results in three back at me." She acquitted honestly.     "That was what she said." Thade admitted gruffly, running his finger over a pristine suit of armor.     "Who?"     "The one who saved me. She said the same thing."     He envisioned Phallen, her unusual charactersistics, the long raven hair. "But she has vanished."     "They mean a lot to you."     "O-o-h-h yes-s-s."     Ari went to him and kissed him. "I am happy for you, Thade. Father said that you had found peace. It's apparent. It shows in your eyes... something I have not seen since we were children." She smiled warmly stroking his beard. "It's..." Looking deeply into them;"compassion."     Thade's depression would not allow him to responde. His dead-pan stare screamed that something much more complicated was eating him alive inside. Something that pulled him up by the collar and was shaking him furiously.     He could not discuss it -- Not with Ari, not with Commander Attar; not even with Omri. Only two could help him escape from this new prison: they were Lantres and Phallen.      Thade grinned sardonically. "Compassion, hmm? That is the ONE thing I lack, Ari. What they see is surrender... a blank. I'm numb with angst. The correct word to describe me best now would probably be patient. I'm in no hurry to get to anywhere. WHO am I?"     Ari's eyes welled with tears. Thade ran the back of his hand along her cheek tenderly. "Your sympathy for my problems is sincerely appreciated."

    

     Little had Thade known that, when he had hugged Ari so passionatly, Corporal Omri was just rounding the corner, stopping him in his tracks. Back-tracking stealthily, the chimp watched as the two disappeared into Thade's dorm.      An old flame had been reignited...     That was enough for him to regret anything bestowed to the ex-general.      To search the far ends -- to see for himself the human fondly referred to as "pet", Omri felt it his duty to protect her from Thade. She was too good for him.     "Flippant bastard!" He cursed under his breath.     'To hell with Thade! I found nothing!'     Those were his intended words.     After seeing her emerge from the water -- her tiny frame -- a perfect form with the blackest hair falling over her like a cloak...     Even HE was bewitched.     Denying his own desire to take her in his arms told him;   

     95

     'The General does not deserve her'...     Omri went back to his dorm, slammed the door, and proceeded to lock the directions to the lake up in his safe.      "Sorry,Sir, I found nothing..." He spat.

 

     They were behind closed doors but there was nothing going on.      What had once been between them was over. But when Ari announced her engagement, Thade did seem to wince, nonetheless, coming across with a feigned smile.     "I'm glad for you."  He forced.     Their eyes met painfully before his darted for the door.     "Are you?" She posed.     "No..." He stated... Period.     She stared nervously at the floor.      "That's not what I mean, Ari."     Deep in thought, she looked up at him and grabbed him by his beard -- tugging; "Don't let go of her Thade."     Thade scoffed lightly.     "LET GO?! I NEVER had a grip!" His voice rose zealously.     Ari kissed him softly, closing her eyes and trying to imagine. There was no return. That was when she realized what they once had was gone.       'Good...I'm free...'      She stepped back, watched him drop his head as if in shame.     "Don't do this to yourself. If it is meant to be, it WILL be..."     Edging toward the door she heard him mutter; "I have lost her."     Her heart went out to him; "No you haven't." And she went back -- wrapped her arms around his shoulders.      He felt so vulnerable there. Never, had she seen him so distraught.      "I hope that whatever troubles you subsides, for it IS SO upon you."     "I'll get through it." Thade answered stoically.     Ari bit at her nails searching for the right thing to say; something that would bring him out of his dismal sundown.     She, alone, could not free him.     And to get him to talk about it was out of the question...     Nodding resolutely, she reminded, "I need to be getting back. If you would escort me...?"     "It would be an honor."      Leading her to the door, he opened it honorably. Passing, she drew her hand across his cheek. The soft palm caressed him and he suddenly remembered, taking her hand, turning it palm up...     Staring into the scar his face revealed the murky memory.     "It is over." Ari forgave, closing her hand.     Thade shook his head. "I hurt you so deeply..."     Ari smiled knowingly. "It's over, Thade. Let it go... I have." She squeezed his hand. "Come on, let's walk."           Deep in thought, they barely said a word as they made their way along the avenue. Passer's-by bid "good evening", glancing back over their shoulder after noticing the far away eyes so void of expression.       They arrived at her home, greeted by her father, Senator Sandar.      "Oh, hello Father." Ari greeted giddily, her smile going from ear to ear.     Sandar was not happy. His stearn face soon ended their happy forte.      Turning rebeliously to Ari, Thade kissed her. A soft, gentle caress she had not experienced from him in many moons.     "Goodnight, Ari."     "We will see eachother soon, I am certain."  Came her encourageing closure.     His eyes rolled up to meet Sandars'... 'Not if I can help it'; He read.     "We will see..." Thade smiled.                                                                  His facade wore thin but not before Ari turned and skipped up the stairs, stopping to kiss her father goodnight on his cheek.     Sandar glared at the ex-General for some time before taking in a breath.     "I understand that you have issues, Thade, but don't involve my daughter!"     Sandar eyed him suspisciously, his brow creasing.      "Stay away from Ari. Stay away from..."     Thade's face sat like stone.      "Very well."     He forced a smile then turned and walked away, the Chesire grin fading the instant he turned his back.     Nothing was the same. Even Ari could not erase the girl from his mind. It was all slowly driving him mad. Something HAD to give - and soon.

              Omri had returned. From outside, Thade could see a light filtering through the shade of the Corporal's dorm. He broke into a jog the rest of the way slowing gradually once within the gates of the compound so as not to look too anxious, though he was racing inside of his own heart...     "Well...?" he asked sounding slightly out of breath as he barged in.     Omri glanced shortly over his shoulder. In his haste to conceal the maps, he had neglected to lock the door.      "Nothing..." The corporal mumbled, paying no heed to to his guest...intruder.     "Nothing?" Thade shot.     The General came around Omri's desk in a huff. "You have been out there for two days and you found NOTHING?"     Slamming a stack of papers on the desk, Omri turned around and looked down at Thade. "You send me off on some wild goose chase -- for some...BODY, then you run off with Ari. I found NOTHING!"     The young Corporal stared ahead. He was hiding something and Thade knew it.      An evil little grin pursed on Thade's lips. "I believe you did." He retorted calmly.     Omri searched his quarters nervously to avoid eye contact, shaking his head adamantly.     "Ari and I are no more," he started, using a bit of his coniving charm to get his way. "Please...Tell me where she is?"     They were eye-to-eye, all anger aside. "Tell me..."     His snake-charmer manner held Omri fast. The plea in Thade's eyes caved him and he went for the maps. Handing the rolled parchment over, he said; "She has crossed East Lake. I think she did it for a reason if you know what I mean."     "Her reasons are wrong, Omri. She fled FOR me, not FROM me."     Holding the parchments as if they were treasure maps, he tapped a rhythm in his palm. With a quick smile and a half-nod he turned and sauntered out the door -- followed closely by an inkwell, its contents spattering upon impact.     "Damn you!" Omri cursed. "You Don't deserve her."
 
    

     "She MUST be brought back...!"          The four men sat at a round table, each one bearing a crest upon their chest...     Blurred beyond contest, they slavered over their steins, leanining over the table simply to grasp a new refill -- garbling  out a protest in transit...     No one was sobre when the two brothers -- blonde-haired -- their skin bronzed like Gods, clashed their steins together in unison...     "She lives with the apes, therefore she dies!"      Rhenai, an elder, remained solemn. His skin -- worn like leather -- wrinkled around his eyes as he squinted against the absurdities spat around the table, the wisdom reflecting from his eyes through which he had seen far more than these young fledglings flexing muscle instead of exercising caution. His chin resting in his hand, Rhenai rolled his eyes from Acadia to Erasmus then to Erasmus' twin; Pietre(Peter), keeping an eye on the twins -- who, in their blind trust, would risk their lives for the brazened warrior, Acadia.     "Phallen is with the apes...has taken up with General Thade!" Erasmus cried, dowsing his brother's attempt to get a word in edgewise.     Acadia acknowledged the declaration with a slow nod, then held his hand up. "Giving us all the more reason why we must take her now -- before Thade is re-instated."     His perfect face studied the others. His deep brown eyes grasping the brother's -- burrowing into their souls a death sentence.      "You don't know the half of it." Rhenai piped up.     All heads turned, the argument silenced by the abrupt interruption.     Leaning on his elbow, he waved a lax finger at them. "Thade is seeking sanction to wed her. Sources reveal he is to go before his Superiors requesting asylum for Phallen."     Acadia seethed. "I want him... Bring him to me alive. I want to be the one to end his life."

    115

          "You know how Phallen will react. She will protect him with her own life." Rhenai reminded, his brow heavy with concern.     A curt, evil grin flashed across Acadia's lips. "So be it..." He replied flatly. "Killl her also."     Rhenai bolted up from his chair, bumping the table, sending the steins tipping. "You cannot be serious!" He blurted. "Surly, it is not beyond your grasp to realize she has fallen under Thade's influence. To kill Phallen would be barbaric. She is blameless."     Pietre went to speak only to be intercepted, once again, by Erasmus' mighty mouth. "SHE released him... took him out of his cell...She IS blameworthy!" He rose rose up out of his seat with each damning word, his voice growing to a fever pitch by the time he was inches from Rhenai's face.     Rhenai stood to the challenge, his knuckles mashing into the table, his teeth clenched. "Point your fucking finger up your ass, you little bastard. You don't have a clue as to what that ape could do to you with one hand."     Acadia stood, pressed both men back into their seats. "Let us not quarrel amongst ourselves." He quelled, eyeing them calmly. "Save your energies for Thade." Though he smiled, his eyes remained deadly.

     Capture them both, or take Phallen by force and assassinate Thade?     The drunker they became the deeper the discussion got, though it never went much further than killing the chimp -- throwing back great gulps of ale faster and faster until the debate turned into more of a belch-fest than a resolution of how to go about returning Phallen to the village.

     116

          "The very thought of HIM touching her makes my skin crawl..." Acadia glowered into his stein, the animosity clawing to the surface with growing abhorrance toward the General.     "The idea of her LETTING him touch her..." Pietre chimed, never expecting a fist to come crashing into his nose.     Acadia leered down at the blonde big mouth as he lay sprawled on the floor momentarily dazed. Pietre fingered his nose -- the blood flowing freely -- spreading over his face in one great scarlet billow.     "That was uncalled for!" Erasmus bawled, groping to help his brother.     "I don't need his rebuttal." Acadia sneered.     Rhenai, on the other hand fought to keep a straight face, all the while thinking gleefully; "GOOD ONE!"     Without another thought about it, Acadia resumed his seat: Business as usual.     "They will be taken together. Do whatever necessary, just DON'T KILL THADE!"     He scanned their faces lingering on the brothers' -- Erasmus holding a rag to his brothers nose.     "We will assemble and prepare in three days." The dark warrior announced, pushing away from the table.     Doffing the long black braid down his back, Acadia came around to the twins, leaning inquisitively to see. "Is it broken?" He asked, pulling the blood-soaked cloth out of Pietre's nostrils.     Running a finger along the bridge, Pietre shook his head.     "Too bad..." Acadia chased, snaring cruelly. "Maybe next time."     He strode from the crude structure, leaving the three unwillingly relenting...

          

     Phallen weighed heavily on his conscience.     Memories he wished to keep enshrouded played themselves out, announcing their presence.      She was significant, then, in his book of virtues... falling dead at his feet now -- disgracing her people... herself... HIM...     'Father must be turning over in his grave.'     His only daughter. There was no forgiveness, Acadia knew.     With a snarl, the young warrior recalled how their father had coddled Phallen. He told her things, relating to her ways of living in perspective to what nature had to offer...     "By all means, stay out of the ape's orchards!" Came his stern warning...     Did this -- COULD this bastard-ape adore her as their father had?      Would he protect her with his life?     'If he were only here, and knew just whom Phallen had befriended, Father would never forgive her...'     "Spoiled brat!" Acadia hissed, shaking his head. "You're such a dumb ass."     Sprinting through the darkened allies, Acadia could not out-run the truth... How her desertion left him hollow.     Phallen showered compassion on the apes, who in turn, only looked upon her as a low-caste -- a sitter for their children...     Those children loved her though. They brought her books, taught her to read their text...    

      117

     Although she was a square peg trying to fit in a round hole, Phallen never second-guessed where she belonged. Days turned into weeks -- into months...     Ozzy, her father, realized how his daughter had taken his words and ran with them.      That was when he laid plans to create her tree-abode...     "NEVER let them know where you live, my Daughter."     She was handed everything. Even when she went against all that she was warned NOT to do...     Acadia's blood boiled; "How could you?"     Had she forgotten the attacks?     Had she forgotten the face of the enemy lead by General Thade when he brought his army down upon the village, killing anyone daring to stand with rebellion?      How the General stood with his cock-sure smirk, surrounded by his henchmen, wiping out...     Acadia bared his teeth in his run, spit spraying his face... "GODDAMN YOU, Phallen...!"          Of course she was too young to remember. Acadia was but a boy when the storm troopers pillaged the village. The image of his father ripping the little girl, Phallen from her mother's arms only seconds before the woman was swept up and carried off was forever burned into his memory as if it only happened yesterday... The sound of their father's voice -- so final...     Concealed beneath the floor boards, left alone in pitch darkness -- too afraid to breathe, ten-year-old Acadia held his hand over Phallen's mouth.     "S-s-h-h...We have to be quiet." The boy whispered with barely a breath.     Thunderous crashes, screams of fear... of death broke on their ears as they huddled with spiders and mice. Things smashed onto the floor Acadia and five-year-old Phallen hid beneath...     Then his voice.     Acadia felt his sister's arms clamp around him, her tiny fingers digging into his flesh and he buried her whimpers in his chest.     Heavy, booted feet clomped across the room, wreaking havoc as furniture was over-turned, thrown through the windows...     "Take the men for target practice. Herd the women and sell them to the traders..."     ...Fading...

     118

     Silence...     "Who came?" Phallen's voice quivered.     The boy fought back his tears, his breath hitching when he inhaled. "The ape's came, Phallen...The apes came."          Acadia stopped, rested his hands on his knees and caught his breath. "Thade will not escape this time." He swore.     Would killing Thade mean he would have to take his sister's life? Would it justify their parent's treatment?      Maybe his strong-armed call had convinced Phallen of what a beast the General really was. She could not be so blind NOT to see through his disguise could she? He could not love her.     Still catching his breath, Acadia peered around, scowling.     'Thade had used her for his own gain,' he surmised, rising. 'Nothing else.'     'Even one as unusual as Phallen -- her blood running much richer from her mother's side -- could not change the ape's mind.'     Information coming from the ape's city revealed a different turn of events, though. Sources said Thade had returned humbled, deeply affected by his experiences involving a human, "unlike any" he had ever dealt with; proclaiming that she was all he wanted -- how he loved her...!     Acadia glared disdainfully at the gates securing his village. "The ape is old. He is weaker now."     He thought he heard a touch of sympathy in his own voice. Acadia snorted with disgust at his own slightedness. "I will be there to take advantage of your slow reflexes, striking first."     With an air of certainty, Acadia strode on, guffawing; "What you now believe must have you living in fear."     The brash warrior knew little of General Thade. The seaoned officer was not afraid. He would fight for his Phallen...     ...To the death...     His skill and agility had not waned... He remained a deadly spar. Moreso now, for he adored Phallen and vowed to protect her with his life.     A life certain to end if Acadia got his way...

      Everything grinded to a halt when they entered the gates.      All eyes fell upon them, staring incredulously -- packages dropping, their contents spilling about the sidewalk.     On Thade's horse, he and Phallen entered the square glowing under the suns' radiance. The citizens gathered around them, their voices mingling as more and more arrived. Some uttering how they had only thought it had been a rumor... something about "a human having been the only one to actually capture his heart..." while other deeper, darker one's murmured; "It was not proper...!"     Officer's stationed in the square  sent message to the Army Compound of the strange arrival, suggesting a convoy...     Corporal Omri ran for his mount leaping into the saddle from behind, fisting the reins and wheeling the horse around. Careening around a sharp bend, he jerked hard to the left avoiding a collision with a cartfull of fruit and its vendor.     Curiosity seekers began to emerge from their homes and businesses just to get a glimpse at what all of the todo was about.      Coming around the Great Bend, Omri pulled hard on the reins, stunned by the mass. Those close enough reached up and touched Phallen's clothing, running their hands over the fabric as if they had never felt or seen anything like it. In a way -- they had not. Not on any human's back, that was.     Her greeting was warm as she smiled down acknowledging the kindness bestowed. "I love you all so much...," those closest heard her resign.     Thade was not so trusting, though. He observed the growing crowd warily, paying close attention to any sign of rebellion due to Phallen's presence other than as a slave.      From beneath a heavy brow his eyes shifted side to side while his ears were bombarded by so many voices, making it impossible to decipher all that was being said. He reached back almost instinctively as someone took Phallen's hand, nearly pulling her from the horse. Thade's head swung like a cobra's, a deadly warning in his eyes. Guiding her arms around his waist, he advised gruffly, "Don't let go of me."     Glancing ahead he saw the Corporal break through the crowd. With his upward nod, Thade signaled to him as he urged his own horse on, meeting up with Omri on the fringe.     "We need to get you both safely out of here." The young chimp advised nervously.     Falling in behind Thade and his precious cargo, Omri followed closely as they bee-lined for the compound; armed sentries lining their route.      The massive gates squeeled shut behind them, the gatekeepers staring over their shoulders at the trio as they passed...     Wheeling his horse around Thade trotted up next to Omri and stretched out his hand. "Thank you."     The young chimp's brow raised inquisitively. Smiling boyishly he grasped the hand firmly. "It's alright."     Phallen clung to Thade.              120-123

     Being around so many bodies made her uneasy. It had been so long since she had encountered such a mass, be it ape or human. To make matters worse, a gorilla division went marching past shouting cadence, their eyes trailing long after they passed as they kept in step with the rhythmic shout from their drill sergeant.     It felt as if she were a taget. In fact, Phallen knew she was, for every time she glanced their way she met with a pair of eyes -- deep-set and suspicious.     Maybe it had not been such a good idea to be there.     Quaking with apprehension, Thade felt her tension. He rested his hands on hers; understanding, flashing a cold stare at the soldiers.     She felt so outnumbered; Phallen: one -- the whole ape army: one-hundred-thousand and counting...     She closed her eyes -- listened as their voices faded; a mighty roar climaxing, echoing back like thunder. She jumped -- opening her eyes in time to see there was one more about to join them; Commander Attar. He lumbered gracelessly across the dirt road, a petulant look on his black face as he caught Phallen's uneasy glance.     She remembered seeing him at Calima, his intimidating stature keeping her well hidden in the crevices. Now, to come face-to-face with his dominant presence shook her. Where was that dark corner when she needed it? To see but not BE seen?     The look on the gorilla's face when he discovered Thade had escaped was worth a thousand words as he stood slack-jawed and speechless.     "The little fucker cracked the code." He swore scratching his chin.     With little afterthought, Attar chuckled to himself.      "He knows more than they gave him credit for."     Then it hit him.Thade had not returned to the city. It meant he was in the desert. Likely dead -- having succombed to his injuries and the elements.      "It is my fault if you are found dead." He muttered stepping from the destroyed control room, heavy hearted -- his conscience gnawing ceaselessly. "I should have never left you here."     Phallen remainded tucked away, hearing his words. Maybe even the Commander's shuddering breath of remorse...     She felt like revealing herself; to let the mourning simian know Thade was safe. But in her deepest fear, she knew Attar would have struck her down before a single word of comfort could be spoken...

     124

     Eternity hung...     Crouched in the dark, barely breathing, Phallen held her position, her calves tightening in rejection.     'Go... Please go now... '     The search party returned.     "No sign..."     Not a trace.     Attar nodded solemnly. He realized that by this time his friend had to be dead -- covered by the drifting sands...     Gone forever...     "Very well."     Taking one last look around, the tour shuffled silently away.      Phallen was ready to get out of there. She felt as if she were trespassing...     That same sensation crept back when Attar raised his muzzle in her direction, sniffing the air. He recollected the scent, beelining straight at her with certain suspect.     Thade threw his leg over the horse's head landing solidly before Attar, dwarfed easilly by the gorilla's intimidating seven-foot stance. To Phallen's blurred surprise, the hulking ape seemed to humble before him -- to bow with respect, though his beady eyes remained focused on her.     He dropped his gaze at the curt sound of Thade's throaty recognizance, looking abashedly to the intense stare the General held him under. Baring his fangs temptuously, Thade let Attar know he, nor his "pet",were not about to be pushed around.      With that, he turned and reached up to Phallen, who willingly fell into his arms.      "Be strong my Pet." He purged before kissing her cheek.     He placed her directly behind himself, squeezing her hands securly before taking a step forward protectively.     "Tell me, boys... Is there a problem?" He challenged.     'Be nice!' cautioned...     He shook his head. Nodded. Closed his eyes as if meditating.     "This is Phallen..." Came his calm refrain, his eyes twinkling as he presented her. "You will never find another like her."     He beamed on her as if she were a treasure.     In his eyes she was as precious as an Opium Den.    

     125

     His fingers intertwined in hers.      His complete love -- whether or not he cared what anyone thought -- did not ease the tension building inside of her.     Attar's evil eye... his animosity -- watching her as as she watched the dust settle on her shoes -- did little.      Aching, Phallen could only stare into Thade's back as she timidly shot glances to waiting benevolence.     Turning an ashen, Phallen felt herself going...      There was no air!     "I can't breathe..." She forced, leaning weakly agaunst Thade's back.     Turning attentively to his beloved, he caught Attar's unaccepting glare.     Phallen clutched his hands convulsively before going down in a cloud of dust, falling to the beguiling glare.     "You fuck,YOU!" Thade cursed, kneeling to the dusty form.     His angst proved evident when he shoved Attar away, knocking the gorilla off center.     "Get away..." Thade warned.     Resting Phallen's head in the crook of his arm, Thade hunched over her when Omri gently approached.     "Let me help..."     Thade turned viciously on the tranquil tone of Omri's voice before his own body began shaking. "STAY BACK!"     The young chimp threw his hands up immediatly; "Whoa, Chief! I'm here to help you."     "Sure..." the ex-general chastised, watching all peripherally.     He was sick from their assumptions. Everyone was content as long as things sailed calm-windedly...     His skin crawled, raising the hair on his neck. "Kiss their asses, Omri."     Lifting her off the ground, Thade held her to his chest. "You think you know..." He lamented, shaking his head sadly...     Sweeping past Attar, he procured; "Things change..."     There was no misinterpreting his struggle to retain composure, though his proclamation stunned both Attar and Omri.     Leaning against the door seperating he and Phallen from them, Thade laughed nervously. The unease in his gut could not be quelled.      'They don't trust you when you're around HER.'      Feeling the door press into his back, the ex-General pushed off, waited for more abuse.     "Please...?"  Corporal Omri held a key out.     Thade grunted his disapproval, fangs bared.     "I thought for a minute we had an ally. Instead, I find betrayal."     "Wait a minute." Omri protested. "I have always been on your side."     Averting his eyes, Omri added, "An 'ass-kisser', huh? Indeed...! I kissed yours. Maybe I puckered up to the wrong one though."     He looked to the older simian with a condescending eye.     'I need to escape... He's driving me mad... He...'     Thade's benevolent inner voice shut. Omri stood before him as if sizing him up. "Allow me to escort you, Sir..." Cooly rescinded the challenge.     "Will we lock horns one day?" Thade inquired, his chin rising.     Omri lowered his head as he passed, his hair hiding his face...          

     Unlocking the door, Omri threw it wide open just as Thade squeezed by casting, still, an untrusting eye his way.     "Go away." He ordered, catching the door with his foot to give it a mighty shove.     Still holding the key out, the door slammed rudely in Omri's face. He blinked -- waved the key then shrugged.

     126

     "I know; "Nothing personal." He called before skipping into a run.     He knew it was not... that Thade would get over it...     "He is in love..." Omri jestered.

     Phallen -- as far as Omri could tell, adored the General. It showed in her eyes when she gazed at him. In the short time he had seen them together, Phallen was not afraid to touch Thade -- her hands falling on him easily as if she had grown with him.      Thade must have shown her a side of him no one else had ever seen. There was no other explanation to why she clung to him.     He was not the best looking ape, for certain. Especially when incited. He could get real ugly then...     He was not young; what-with all of the grey coming on his muzzle -- changing the brilliant silver to dull, white, stiff whiskers -- replacing the silk-like goatee, seemingly more prominent since his near-fatal collapse at Calima. Maybe because she saved his life she felt obligated. Was it the feel of her smooth skin under his hands that soothed a savage?     Nonetheless, a devotion lay between them, and because of her, Thade had been forced to recollect his past -- bringing him around to face a fact. That Phallen; her unique ability to heal physically and spiritually, produced the soul of a fallen angel.      A precious gem lay in his wake.     A pure love.     That, alone would surly bring the General around.      That and the taste of her kisses.      Her skin...     A treasure in his life.     Omri stopped. He had the whole equation figured out before throwing his head back with a knowing laugh.      "She REALLY loves him!"      HIM...!     She instilled a beginning.     A completion.     There would be no denying her. All the signs were there in crimson: Mess with Phallen and you will get hurt...    

     127     Laying her on the day-bed, Thade's emotions rose through a ragged sigh. He felt weak and fearful at the same time. Never seeing her again after all was said and done badgered incessantly. Stroking the jet hair back he watched the innocent sleeper, losing himself willingly.     "I will protect you..."     Her cheek was soft and warm beneath his hand, embracing it, stirring her slightly. It ached inside his chest, came up in his throat as a lump hard to swallow. Brushing her cheek, Thade nodded to himself -- if it came between he being reinstated or Phallen...     "I will never leave you."     With a quivering smile he kissed her forehead. "You pulled me from the darkness." Confessed.     Watching as her brow rose he studied this 'creature', tipping his with wonder, bowing to her lips.      "What are you?" Queried, his words brushing her lips.     Just to kiss her sent him. To make love to her would be the epitome' of passion -- granting release to a relationship destined to become a tale repeated for the generations to come of a love nothing could forstall.     "I adore you."      Opening his eyes Thade drew back smiling wanly while deep brown eyes filled him. A strange look crossed his face as if his hand had been caught in the cookie jar.     "Forgive me." He gently beseeched.     Reaching up, touching his face, he pressed into her caress almost desperately, physically moved by her action.      Her brow creased with concern. "You are troubled." She said.     Was it so obvious?     Thade checked his emotions, their cold fingers sliding along his spine. Phallen had caught it when it flashed over his eyes -- before he had a chance to turn away.     She knew that quickly...     "What...?" She sought, feeling his trembling hand against her cheek.     Seeing him so shaken had her second-guessing herself...     What had she done?     As if reading her mind Thade prepared to bare it all, resenting himself for causing her to doubt herself -- to doubt THEM.     "My pet..." He cooed. "Do not assume my feelings have changed."     Though he smiled it did nothing to conceal the sadness which dulled his eyes -- the uneveness in his voice.

 128

     He took inventory of the room, counting the many objects scattered about. His new understanding of the past opened like a book.     'If she were to bear my off-spring would she die?'     Cupping her face in his hands fear traveled through bringing lots of baggage in the form of a deepening scowl upon his brow...     "You are so fragile." He said aloud, not meaning to.     The feel of her skin beneath his hands brought a rush so profound he could not restrain the shudder. Ever since that first night when he held her, he wanted her. Having closed off the very idea of loving, Thade had closed his heart long ago.     Then he met Phallen.     Something about the way she looked at him brought a calm. The fear that tried to consume him fled.     "Go somewhere with me." He requested.

      

                   Part II                When Thade's father, Kalib (Kah-leeb) passed away, he inherited everything. Having loved his father dearly, the chimp only wanted his father back. He cared less about what had been bestowed.     To return to his childhood home proved impossible, so it stood, undisturbed, since -- the rooms ecoing of the past -- keeping Thade away.      Lessons learned -- some good, some not so good -- remained harbored behind the double doors...     No more than ten and warned numerously NOT to jump from the top of the stairs to the landing below, impish Thade, with his testing nature, defied gravity for a fleeting moment. The crash was astounding when he came down in a heap at the bottom taking out a book case glass with his feet and suffering a dislocated shoulder.      Kalib, so disappointed by his son's insubordination, shook his head sadly. That was worse than any "hide-tanning" ever received. Even having his shoulder realigned was not as painful as having let his father down.      To find something to keep Thade out of mischief was like trying to locate "El Dorado".     Impossible...     If Thade was not harassing the house-humans with his out-of-control antics he was raising hell, in the city, with his "Hood" friends. Among the malicious acts they played their favorite thing to do was chase Farmer Harner's goats. The animals, when frightened, had a peculiar fail-safe protection... they would faint, falling stiff to the ground where they ran sending Thade and his cronies into fits of laughter as the goats simply dropped in mid-flight.     The boys were good at heart, but when they would get together, they always managed to get themsleves into some real trouble, and Kalib was not always there to bail them out. When the General did return, though, Thade would disappeare for weeks at a time -- detained at the homestead -- forced to ammend the mistakes he made, and suffer for his friends in the process.

      129-131

     To dispute the charges meant an ass beating, and he took the blame for everything, sparing his friends the same treatment...     "Why do you insist on behaving this way? Do you think because I am a General, you are immune to disipline?" Kalib preached.     Thade hid a devilish smile under his bowed head as he shook it ardently. "No."     "I WILL send you to Military School if you do not shape up here real soon. TRY ME AGAIN!" And Kalib forced his son's head up catching that grin. "I dare you..."     Young Thade sobered immediately, nodding obediently...     Needless to say, the next day, the young squire was at Farmer Harner's admitting to the old gorilla that it was "he" who had sent his goats into their rigormortis-like state.      Obeying his father's demand Thade volunteered to work it off.     "You can start here." Harner boomed, pointing to the pens.     'How many pellets can a goat shit?!'      After cleaning up after them, Thade could have said...     Though it had been dry and sunny that summer, if Thade would have had to rake up another another pile of goat droppings, he would have slit his wrists instead...     To look at another goat and the young ape cringed. The shit scraped from his shoes still fertilized his father's garden...     He learned what responsibility meant that summer...     Young Thade left the goats -- and whatever else he antagonized alone from then on...     "I understand what responsibility means now."     Kalib smiled at his son. "Good. Now you will learn how to handle it..."         He recognized the mature attitude.      It was time to introduce his son to a point of interest: Archery...     It was soon apparent this sport was second-nature to Thade as Kalib took his young son out, demanding complete concentration, impressing upon the lad that what he held was not a toy, but a tool...A weapon.      This held Thade's interest and he listened intently while his father explained what each part was -- how it worked and why...     "Few wish to be archers. Therefor it is becoming a lost art. There is little glory and it can be dangerous. One must use extreme caution while applying this tool to the hunt."     Standing in the fields surrounding the estate, Father and Son practiced through the days of sunshine, their arrows burrowing deep into the haystacks, narrowly missing the solid red circle of a bullseye...     "It is easy to hit a still target. But a moving one..." And Kalib waved his arm for the humans to be set loose...     "Try now..."     Thade stood narrowing his eye across the top of the shaft, targeting the back of a man as he raced for the woods...      Releasing, it shot straight snagging the human between the shoulder blades, bringing the big man down in a dust bowl.     "You are so cock-sure, aren't you?" General Kalib amended.     Young Thade tasted the blood of victory and he liked it...     Taking him to target practice every day, Kalib taught him everything. By about the third week, though, Thade had developed a whelt along the inner part of his forearm -- a gift from the bow-string snapping from its anchor-point. How long it had been there and how long it had been hurting the youngster, Thade never let his father know. It had not been long by the looks of it -- raw and red, almost bleeding, the ape's hair having been pulled out.     Yet, Thade never uttered a word...     Upon discovering the irritation, the very next day Kalib presented a leather cuff.     "I thought you had been avoiding the snap," He addressed, applying the piece and trussing it tightly. "This will protect you from the string."     "I'm sorry Father."      "No, my Son. This does not mean you are weak in any way. In fact it is the opposite."     

     132

     An eighty-pound draw, Thade pulled the string back anchoring it next to his ear as if it were no more than forty or fifty, now. Setting the cross-hairs on sight, Thade nailed his target dead-centered.     Beaming with pride as he lowered his bow, he met his fathers assiduous eye.     "You are ready for competition." Kalib commended, putting his arm around his son's shoulders...                 

     Duty called General Kalib... Sixteen-year-old Thade took himself to the fields, wading through the grass to the clearing in the middle by the old horse barns, remembering what had been drilled into him: "FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS..."     Indeed. But the General neglected to figure, in his son's life, something far more intriguing than archery...     The opposite sex...!     He could not hit the broad side of a barn when a certain female came around, batting her lashes, smiling sweetly at him.         Turning toward her, his auborn hair blew in his vision as he collected it to the side, brushing at the loose ends...     Taking his wild tangles, Ari grasped them in a tight pony-tail and tethered them at his neck, smiling on his lips.     "Hello Thade."     "You Are Bothering Me!"  He scolded lurching from her angrily.     The harder he tried to ignore her the worse he got, and with the competition only days away,Thade did not need her there.     Glaring at her slyly, he wished she would leave...     'She bothers me so!'     Releasing from her grooming efforts, Thade took his archer's stance -- missing his target after several tries...     Throwing his bow and quiver to the ground he stormed over to Ari. "You are SO distracting me! GO AWAY!" He declared, baring his fangs.     "I like to watch you, though." And she smiled coyly up at him.     "NO! There is no room for you now." He told, jerking his gaze from her doleful eyes.     "There is always room for love."     Thade froze, peered over his shoulder at her.     "Walk over to the falls with me... I'll have you back in time to practice for the competition..."     Ari had taught him everything he needed to know that hot afternoon by the lake.      Hidden in the green grass, they made love. A clumsy kind of find-and-seek love, and Thade was hitched on her. Having been his first encounter, he loved her whole-heartedly as they lay panting from their labor of love...     There was no time for her now. Earning merit, proving himself responsible, was...     She would be there later...    

     133

     Gaining status, he grew tired of wasting time on her and he scared her off. There was too much to do besides entertaining the daughter of a politician. That was not a part of his training, though she had sparked an attraction he would not soon forget.     Approached by Senator Sandar, Thade bowed respectively, not realizing that he was Ari's father until the accusations arose...     "I get the drift that Ari has taken a fancy to your archery."      The young apes eyes rolled up to Sandar's.     "UH, well, we have talked." He replied jitterly.     "She has spoken greatly of you. General Kalib's son, Thade. A grade-A archer. I understand you are to compete in the Grande Masters?"     Thade nodded humbly, dropping his gaze.  Searching for an escape, he followed the labarynth in the tapestry. "That is why I must leave. I have practice for this weekend."     Side stepping the towering figure, Thade headed for the door when Ari appeared, young and fearless, a devilish smile curving on her lips. Hands on protruding hips, her braless nipples protruded through the gossamer blouse. Her hair was newly braided, intertwining golden fibers and beads of crystal.      But who really knocked him out was her friend, Josee...     Attracted?     Undoubtedly...     Josee was to become Thade's courtesan, but at that moment she was to become a really nice piece of ass for him, keeping Ari "neat" until their wedding...     Having two deeply in love with him...

     Escorting two beautiful girls to the dance, Thade, dressed in black silk top-coat and matching trousers was the catch and all were envious, either by his status or by whom he escorted.      Arriving in the moonlit eve, the trio remained close as they met and addressed the Matre' D, following their waiter to an exclusive table at the edge of the terrace which over-looked the misty jungle. There was no cross-seating as the girls sat on either side of their date, feeling the slick material covering his body.     The human girl, small in stature, her eyes slightly averted, hidden beneath a storm of black hair, took their orders nodding as she wrote them before looking shyly up.     "Will there be anything else?" Her gentle voice asked.     "No." Josee shot rudly.     Ari peered at the girl fondly. "No, dear. When you return, if there is anything else, we'll let you know."     Thade stared out at her, transfixed on her face...     He shook his head...     Lost, he focused on his dates, dismissing the connection...     Falling back against the plush pillows, he draped his arms across the girls shoulders as he smiled.     "You think you're so hot, Thade? I think you're all Daddy's Boy."     The chimp's arms coiled and he climbed over Ari as she fumbled to keep him seated. His teeth bared as he closed in on the big mouth, ready to do battle.      "Bring your ass out!" He challenged, parting couples in his pursuit.     Shadowed at the bar, they remained seated, their arms folded across the padding. "Re-lax, Buddie...!"     Spinning them, Thade drew his arm back. He blinked. He studied.     "Ohmygod, Dano...?"     His number one partner-in-crime grinned fully in his face..."YES...! What you gonna do?"     Swinging the chimp from his barstool, the two commenced to brawl in friendship across the barroom, throwing chairs and crashing make-outs along their menacing path as each took turns throwing the other, punching and clawing all the way.Taking eachother's punches on the roll, the two roiled until the bouncer intercepted, taking them both off their feet by the collars...     "I know who your father's are..." He warned,nodding to the youths. "Do WE want this to remain anonymous or should we just go ahead and throw you on the street...?"     Stopping in mid-blows, Thade and Dano held their fists as if in suspended animation as they went over the pros and cons.     Snarling arbitrarily up at the grimacing gorilla-bouncer, Dano rebuked, "Fuck you,Mother Fucker! What are you gonna do?!"     Thade shook his head; "No, Dano... Don't go there!"     The gruff chimp snuffed the bouncer. "Oh come on, Thade. Where's your balls? Don't tell me you lost those too?"     Just then, Ari stepped up. Draping her arm around Thade's shoulders she batted her lashes at the bouncer. "I think I can manage this one if you'll allow me..."     "Well..." The gorilla began.     "It was all in fun. There won't be any trouble from us."     Dano gave Thade a look of disgust before tugging taughtly on his collar. "Fine... I think we're all done now."     The gorilla eyed the two before releasing them. Dano brushed by, his eyes sliding across Thade... "Pussy..."     Thade clocked him hard. Dano spun, momentarily held up by sheer surprise before hitting the floor. Looking at his hand, Thade pouted.     "No, my friend, I'm not. I can respect, though."                    That was as close as he ever wanted to get to legalalities.      There was no time for trivial bullshit...     No time for his love life...     Placing Ari on the back-burner, so to speak, Thade went after merit. Proving himself to be a responsible ape was top priority.     She would be there later, he knew. Or Josee. And he smiled breezily.

    

     Competition after competition, Thade walked away with First Prize, taking top-ranking scores in all three fields: target, field, and flight. He even received commemoration for "Best in show" -- something introduced due to his unusual flair in approach.     Trophies and ribbons collected across the fireplace mantle, accumulating any space as he continued to accel. Taking his new-found hobby and turning it into a passionate competition for perfection...     "You're good."     Thade lowered his bow and turned to the voice.     Dano waded through the grass, throwing his arms up in surrender, smiling sheepishly. Thade gave his upward nod, a sad little grin penciling his mouth.     "Look,I'm sorry for..."     Thade waved him off. "Don't worry about it. Shit happens, right?"     Dano stared at his own feet. He had hurt his friend. And though the archer accepted the apology humbly, Dano knew their friendship was never to be as strong as it once was.     "Good luck tomorrow."      Thade smiled painfully. "Thanks."     Their handshake -- strong with good fortune -- lacked in the warmth of brotherhood each once held for one another.     Thade had a niche for falling into a good thing. He always accelled. And he was good. Damned good.     Turning back to his target, Thade anchored the string next to his ear. He could hear the high-tension sing there before letting go, the string snapping against his forearm as the arrow shot straight, splintering the one already protruding from the bullseye, with a crack...     He would never see Dano alive again...    

    

         Thade awoke to a gentle knock on his bedroom door before it slowly opened. His father slipped in quietly, his face drawn.     "What? What's wrong?" He sat up, swinging his feet to the floor.     "There was a fire last night, Thade." Kalib began, his voice quivering. "Dano's house..."     Sheer horror covered Thade's face. "No, Father...! No...!"     Kalib sat down on the edge of the bed folding his hands between his knees -- his head down.     "Dano...?" Thade begged to hear that he was alright. That he had only lost his possessions.     Kalib sunk further, his brown shaggy hair falling over his harried face.      "No... I JUST SAW HIM!!! Father, I just talked to him!"     Wiping his tears, Kalib shook his head. "I AM so sorry, Thady..."     Thade broke down and bawled. He could not believe that Dano was gone.     Curling into his father's lap, he begged to see his friend alive.     "Where is he, Father? Where's Dano? We fought and all but we're brothers! He knows how to play me! I know he's bullshittin' me!"    

    134

                     part III

          ...So many ghosts...      The many months away did not still the ache. To see his home, well, he really could not admit to himself just how he would react -- with a smile from all of the good times there, or in great sobs full of remorse.      Taking a deep breath, he released it meditatively, forcing himself to swallow though his throat was dry. It had been one thing to understand his father was dying. Still, Kalib was there. Yet when he breathed his last breath, Thade could not grasp that he had passed -- leaving him...     'He could not go. Too many questions still remain unanswered.'     Thade was bitter. To ravage everything in his sights -- to destroy all that reminded him of his father and of their past climbed Thade's "Tree of Pain"... pulled him fast and hard down to earth...     "Damn you all..." He swore.         

     Only red-rimmed eyes gave his pain away...                   He had not returned since his father's funeral...

    

     This day, though, he was...

                    Part IIII

     How far off could one go?      Physically being, his thoughts stretched beyond the stratosphere; into an infinite span of space, grasping for one piece of solitude that could bring him peace and refuge from the pain that surged within.      Together, Thade and Phallen rode...     He could not speak. Something hard had lodged in his throat, and whenever he tried to convey, it stopped him...     Staring blankly ahead, the grass rolled softly in the sun -- green to yellow -- varigated on the breeze as tall Shirley Poppies waved stubbornly therein, their black seeds dumping clumsily from their hosts. Milkweed fairies fluttered by, their haphazard dance of "whatevermaycome" flittered by, some catching in the "Black's" mane...     Having already arrived, in his mind, Thade was rigid. Phallen felt him shudder, saw his jaw tighten as his teeth gnashed. She rested her head against his back, folding her arms around him securely.      He felt her embrace. The silken hair of his arms brushed her skin as his hands went to hers. His hold, so desperate as if he were begging: "Don't let go! Don't let me fall!"                          135      

     If he were breathing, why, then, did it feel as if he needed air...?     It was as if he could not get enough when he took Phallen's hand -- pressed it to his mouth -- pacifying the panic...     'You are the object of my longing.'     The long held breath expelled on her palm proclaiming his affection. Closing his eyes, he held her there...     "My pet..."     Dizzy, he awkwardly leaned to one side.      "Oh, Thade, don't do this to yourself."  Phallen bequeathed, leaning to his peril.     Thade demanded control as he raised his head, hands flailing as he blindly searched...     "I have lost touch with everyone...!"     His mouth hung open as if in a silent scream before Phallen grabbed hold...     "No,you haven't!" And she shook him violently back to life...     "You're HERE!, You're ALIVE...!"     "Don't go away now." She wept, curling into the nape of his neck. "Oh, Please, Thade -- Not now..."     Her tears ran down his back as she begged...     His breath was short as he came to. Her breath on his neck -- the hot tears down his back... He dove into the human hands  grasping the reins...     "My soul is saved...!" He rebuked icily.     His hands clasped tightly on hers in his moment of clarity. His breath was timed and tempered in her ear as he leaned back into her...    "I need you to stay with me." Came on clear breath, fighting to control the emotions warring the closer they drew.

     Tall grass now brushed at their feet as the mare made her way along a path once well-worn -- grown over,now, due to its lack of use.     The shadow of the estate loomed over them. Phallen raised her head and stared at the magnificent spread. There were no sounds except for the birds of prey as the glided easily above the glade. Just below their lonesome calls, though, there was another sound. That of babbling water.      Beyond the tall grass and wildflowers an aqueduct flowed beneath the entry way, cascading over the edge of the rocky cliff, into a hypnotic wash-away.     It looked like a castle with its manifold of spires and levels -- mist, from the falls rising to its foundation.     Phallen saw a castle in the clouds.     Thade saw his darkest hours re-born...     Pulling suddenly on the reins, he leapt from the horse. He spread his arms in grande gesture bowing deep to the house.     "This is my home."  Straightening, his eyes met hers. "All the plans I ever made lie here."      Sad eyes... Expressionless...     Phallen grimaced.     He dropped his hands, turned away. "Needless to say none of them came to be..." And his voice trailed off as he sauntered away.     "You aren't finished yet." Phallen called.     Stopping dead in his tracks, Thade stared over his shoulder then turned. Phallen looked at him pitifully as she shook her head.

     136      "It's only the beginning for you."      Her deep brown eyes delved into him and he rushed to where she remained; atop the horse.      "For US..." He corrected.     Reaching up, Phallen fell into his arms, the tall grass groped at her legs as she landed gently before him. He smiled at her. There was a new-born confidence in his steely gaze.     "You are everything to me. All the years of waiting -- knowing there HAD to be someone who could understand me... It was you all along. Now, there is stillness in my soul. It's because you have come."     Phallen shrunk from his dauntless stare slipping carefully from his hands. "Your Empire awaits, Thade. Step up to it..." She procured.     Fixated by her beauty, Thade felt his chest swell when she smiled at him, took his face in her hands, and kissed his cheek before leaping away gracefully, dancing through the over-growth to disappear over the hill. Watching after her it seemed he had made up his mind; 'Take a breath, Thady!' his inner voice blew when he stumbled to the side a few steps.      Evidently she satisfied him as he fought to keep his balance -- stepping into the sway. He took a deep breath, groaned inwardly, trying to keep his emotions in check. But that spark ignited, not-so-long-ago, had became a flame, and it burned in him...

                                                Standing there alone, the insects hidden in the undergrowth were louder than ever. Thade felt so desolate standing there without her beside him. He pictured her face, the soft, knowing fawn's eyes that observed him with skittish expectancy -- aware that she was considered prey; a "game animal" -- prepared to jaunt into the thicket. But when she looked at him, those fawn's eyes effected his ability to take her as a trophy. They reflected Thade's soul, something she innocuously aquired, perhaps while he was in her care.     A soft groan surfaced. A sound he could not recall ever having made. A sound of longing...      The lonliness did not agree with him. Taking Black's reins, he followed the bent grass. Killdeer hobbled before his feet with mock injury in hopes of leading the intruder far from their grounded nests while shiny black crickets scurried and hopped for safer horizons. Brave grass hoppers clung to his legs for a ride, springing off at the nearest stalk of orchard grass, riding as it bent under their weight. Cicada's buzzed and clicked seclusively, their huge eyes bulgeing from triangular heads while gossamer wings exercised flight.      Tethering the mare to a post, Thade continued up the hill alone. Coming around the side of the estate he approached without a sound. She was standing at the bluff's edge absorbing the sun's warmth like a new-born creature experiencing the soft winds for the first time, the breeze lifting her hair in web-like strands, spinning around her.     Stealing silently up behind her Thade slid his arms around her waist. She leaned against him seeming to read just what swam in his mind.     Resting her head back on his shoulder she looked at him. "Don't worry, it will be alright." She consoled.     He purred like a contented cat, burying his muzzle in the curve of her neck, inhaling her rich sweet scent.      "I am in love with you." He confessed on her skin.     Her face was aglow with surprise when she turned to him meeting his ardent expression, the setting sun filtering across his eyes cast them steely grey.     He observed her cooly, concealing his sharp fangs when he could not help but smile.     "Marry me..." He breathed.     Phallen caught her breath.     He felt her unease.     Spinning her, Thade took her up in his arms, combed his fingers through the long black hair to drape it down her back with a sweep.                   137

     With her he felt his strength. When she touched his weathered brow it soothed his worries.     He chuckled lightly. "You look right through me. I can't hide anything from you."     Nuzzling her jawline, he held her fiercly, feeling her ripple under his hands. "I can't help myself. You do things to me."     Each word, more fervent than the last, his desire for her was evoked, anticipating the kiss when their breath mingled. Dipping her back in his arms, cradling her safely, he stared, unabashedly, back into those timid eyes.      "You are not of the "human" race." He unconvered next to her peach-skin cheek.     The dark infinity in her eyes sent him freely into the abyss.     "What am I, then?" Her question came like the breeze.     To let her slip away now was unimaginable. HE was the Trophy, now. Her inhabitions had burrowed so deeply into his life he did not care about anything else.     "Mine."     Enveloping her frame in one long arm, Thade gathered her hair back with his free hand. With the back of his hand, he stroked her cheek, catching a shuddering breath as every hair on his body rose sensitivly.     "I love you..." Rose the ardent proclamation, once again, through a clenched jaw.     "I have not uttered those words for many years. To say them to you seems only fair."      Phallen rested in his arms. She knew she was safest there...

    

     Part V

             Only one of the two suns still hung in the horizon fading quickly. Thade held the key in a shaking hand.     "Why do I fear my father's house?"     The solid arching door with all of its knots and grooves seemed to had responded to the query, rattling in its jamb if only from the evening breeze.      "Are you alright?" Phallen asked. Thade nodded stiffly.     "I have never been afraid." He scolded himself.       Perspiration beaded on his brow as the lock tumbled back. A deluge of images flashed through his mind. Now there was one more added -- his mother, Khet, slowly dying in Kalib's arms.     All of it waited on the other side...          138

     A careless grunt emitted. He knew that opening that door was going to send it crashing into him like a tidal wave.     He felt her hand on his back, a warm gentle rub of reassurance, providing him with the strength he needed to throw the door open.     Dust sparkled in the sudden beam of light, its shining path intermingling with the shards already filtering through vine obstructed windows. Peering in like two curious children who had came upon a latent ruin -- everything had remained exactly as it had been, except for the layer of dust, now dancing in the gust from the doors' opening.      Kalib's curious collections had remained untouched.     "This was his favorite room." Thade recalled, stepping gingerly over the threshold, his hand finding Phallen's and gripping it tightly.     The traveling vines covering the windows cast the room in gloomy darkness. It crept upon them both instantly.      'Kalib must have been very depressed to favor such a dreary room.' Phallen surmised as she took it all in.     His hand slipped from hers and Thade went to the windows. With some effort to unlock them he wrenched the locks free to give a mighty push against the clinging ivy, snapping it away as the hinges squeeked in protest.      The room awoke. It was not dark and dreary -- but the contrary. It was bright and beautiful. Truly, having been a most receptive hall in its prime. Exploding in vibrance, beautiful tapestries adorned the walls from ceiling to floor. Collections of ancient artifacts aligned the walls in sturdy glass cabinets, not unlike Phallen's very own -- from ruins -- were on exhibit once more.     Pipes, from hookas to elaboratly carved singles of all shapes and sizes, seized one cabinet that was affixed to the left side of the fireplace -- a work of art in itself.       "This is beautiful..." Phallen proclaimed on a sigh, taking it all in.     Thade spun. He remembered how it was, what it all had been like in its pristine state and for her to see it just as magnificent in its unkempt condition, his heart raced. He drew close to her as if to reveal some secret -- "I remember it as if it were only yesterday. Only one part leaves me wondering."      Closing his eyes, he seemed to drift, a hurting laying lines over his brow, marring his features.      "It has changed forever." He muttered.     Taking his hands, Phallen asked, "Is it a bad thing?"     Thade was at a loss for words. He had no line of defense from his past allies. He was alone.      His breathing became erratic as he jerked away, his mind spinning.      "I don't know, Phallen. It seems there is no solution now. It was different in his time. I want to tell you what I have learned."     She looked at him as if she already knew. Coming across as a weak smile, a knowledge -- an eminent forthcoming placed itself as a mask, disguising a troubled cognizance...     She already knew...     "I want you to know everything..." He whispered.     With a gentle nudge, Thade directed her toward the stairs -- to where it had all began for him. "Come with me."  He welcomed.     Counting the steps, Phallen took each one apprehensively, watching the deep scarlet sun cast everything ahead a blood-red.     "This is not good." She murmered, still allowing him to lead. "This is wrong..."     Phallen came to an abrupt halt. "No..."     She had never entered a male's suite.      Thade felt her resistance. "My pet...," He purred. "I am a tyrant, but I would never force myself upon you."     He took her arms in his big hands, his fingers encircling them with ample room. "Trust me..."     "This is where I was born..." He informed, feeling her follow him in.     Closing the door quietly behind her, Thade drew her into the center of it.     "...and where my mother died giving birth to me."     Sorrow...     Phallen could not believe that he, too, had felt the same kind of loss as she had. Compassion filled her as she reached out to him; "I know...," She comforted. " I know your pain."      His hands found her neck, its softnes, like a swan's, fragile as her hair fell over them...     'I have you now and I will have my way...' Lust spoke. ' You slipped from my grasp once, but this time...'     He buried his face in her neck, hiding in the blackness of her hair... 'NO...! I love you too much...'     He came up suddenly, throwing his shoulders back. The ideas he had of taking advantage of her vanished...     Drowning in her innocense, Thade's expression begged for forgiveness. "Phallen..." He breathed. "I feel as if I have known you from long ago."    

    139-141

     Phallen, so faultless, was in no way going to be forced to do anything that would make her feel beguiled. Yet, she absorbed his pain -- held him when his shoulders shook...     "My beloved..." He beseeched. " I remain as you had found me -- imprisoned..."     He laughed to himself before grasping her firmly by the arms.     "...Lost..." He concluded,his teeth gnashing forbodingly as he closed in, forcing her, blindly, inward.     Her nails dug into his forearms... "You need to wake up now."  She advised, preaparing to take care of business before it got out of hand.     He snapped at her out of instinct, his teeth resting on her hand -- steadily sinking...     Tasting her,Thade retracted his bite when he tasted her fear...     His tongue ran the length of her arm to her collar-bone where he met defiance when she dipped her chin -- their lips meeting awkwardly...     "Love me." He challenged. "Can you?"     Her "Beast" hid his face. His words shrunk him and he folded.     "Every time I closed my eyes, I saw your face."  She revealed, taking him by the chin to raise his humbled gaze to hers.     She nodded...

     The suite was open and airy. Stained glass light bathed the curious objects in purples, reds, and blues as the sun dipped. In the center of the room, canopied in a golden glow of sheer fabric  the massive bed hid within. Only its posts were visible -- jutting almost to the ceiling in a twisting spiraling fashion. Holding Thade's  hand, Phallen took in the things around her while he lead her into the bed-chamber, unaware of where he was taking her. Inside there was a whole different world dressed in soft lace and satin, looking as if the linens had been freshly placed. Pastel colored pillows were thrown against the headboard, scattered along the edge of the sheers, resting on a magnificently woven tapestry of earhten tones deep and rich. Elaborate candelabras, affixed to the inner sides of the bed's posts, were  swinging arms of wrought iron, sculpted like cupped hands -- palms-up -- where the candles sat.      Guiding her to the edge of the bed he bade her to sit. For a time Thade could only pace, gathering his wits and words... how he wanted them to flow -- to profess his innermost desire...     Searching his thoughts...     All of the wrong ones seemed to pop up. He swallowed them down. This was not the time.      He passed her at a nervous pace.     "My father believed in the Books of Semos." He started nervously.     In a low, controlling voice, he revealed; "Human's are low-caste... VERMIN." and his hand swept, expressing his last statement physically, meeting her gaze, forgetting, momentarily what Phallen was. His eyes softened. Even though he hated all humans, she melted his heart by her bourn purity, and he clasped his hands abashedly behind his back. Stopping his mad pacing, Thade stood in front of her before falling into an Indian-style sitting position on the floor. Resting his hands on his thighs he knew he was beaten, but could not think of a better way to lose.     "I am vulgar," He admitted, jade eyes rolling shamefully up. "But my desire is not."     Rising to his knees they came face-to-face as he rested his hands to either side of her...     "Phallen..."     Her name came on a whisper as he leaned closer. Her smell wafted gently into his nostrils and he inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. "I thought I knew what it meant to "care"..." and he brushed her cheek with his affectionately. "I didn't until you came."    

     142

     Hovering above her, he shuddered. Revealing his weakness.     "Do not distant yourself from me."     To relinquish such emotion was never a strong point in Thade. However, with Phallen, he was compelled. Her unjudging eyes made him honest...     "I could tell you anything and you would still be here." He related.     A bright, open smile greeted his sulllen confession. "You have."     She sank into the pools of frustration oblivious of his arms as they enclosed around her, easing her back against the pillows. But a breath away, waiting for a sign of rejection, he hung over her.     "Put your hands on me." He said huskily. "For the first time, I surrender."     Something was ending and something was beginning.     Uninhibited, for the first time, Phallen rose to her lover's request, her hands sliding under his shirt.      He shook under her touch, falling into the curve of her shoulder to taste her there -- feeling a quickened pulse on his lips as he worked his way to her jaw-line.     Breathless, Thade rose up on his hands. "Tell me if I move too quickly. It is only because I long to make love to you... To touch you in ways that you deserve to be."     He drew closer brushing her lips with his... "Relent to me..."     Though he toyed with her emotions, his own could not be concealed. Having found her only to lose her... If she wanted to escape now... In his mind, he chained her to himself...     No.          Phallen stroked his silver goatee. A smile crossed her lips.      "I love you." She said.     It was the first time she ever told him...