Mr. Bourgeois Drowns His Sorrows

by j. h. woodyatt

Late last night down at Jim's Saloon 
Everyone expected that the last balloon 
Would go Boom!  The one they all saw coming 
And Lady Liberty would send the bad guys running 
'Cause Mr. Bourgeois he was in the shit 
His wife of ten years finally threw the big fit 
Now his house was empty and his kids hell and gone 
His job dried up with the cuts at the Pentagon 

Yeah, big hairy deal, he remarked to Jim 
I got twelve years experience at cutting out shims 
And the Big Man, he can't take away everything 
Liberty and me here we're ready for anything 
But when it came to the brink it was all just talk 
There weren't gonna be any outlines in chalk 
On the floor.  Mr. Bourgeois simply couldn't play the game 
Their last great hope would be pathetically lame 

Hey, Mr. Bourgeois 
        They're coming for you 
Yeah, Mr. Bourgeois 
        You've got a job to do 
Mr. Bourgeois 
        You'll give them the news 
And Mr. Bougeois 
        Don't let us down 
        'Cause we're counting on you 

The fiends kicked in the door and they gassed the place 
And everyone who bailed got pepper in the face 
Jim and Mr. Bourgeois dug in for the fight 
And for a minute, it looked like they might 
Have a chance.  But it was nothing but a ruse 
They suckered Jim out and now had nothing to lose 
It was certainly now or never for our man Mr. B 
Lady Liberty was ready for the metro P.D. 

And outside the saloon, all eyes were on the captain.  Nobody knew if Mr. Bourgeois was alone or if he had a hostage.  The captain called out on the megaphone, but there was no answer.  It was a long half an hour before the captain sighed and made one last plea. 

Hey, Mr. Bourgeois 
        We're coming in for you 
Yes, Mr. Bourgeois 
        We have a job to do 
Mr. Bourgeois 
        Now here is the news 
And Mr. Bourgeois 
        Don't let us down 
        'Cause we're counting on you 

They saw Mr. Bourgeois when they came through the door 
He was out like a light and sprawled on the dancefloor 
He'd drunk a fifth of tequila and a pint of one-ten 
The medics couldn't stop him, he was going to heaven 
Lady Liberty was right where he'd left her to sit 
With a cigarette fuse that would never be lit 
A couple days later the Saloon closed down 
Jim was convicted and sent to the Old Town 

All the others were fingered or they turned to the state 
Except for the lucky ones who escaped their fate 
By running for the border like roaches in the light 
Screaming hard down the highway in the middle of the night 
Jim sold the saloon so his lawyer would get paid 
Some chain from the coast turned it into a ready-made 
With Lady Liberty hanging up on the wall behind the bar 
And nobody ever said another word again... 

About Mr. Bourgeois 
        We're coming for you 
Yeah, Mr. Bourgeois 
        We've got a job for you 
Mr. Bourgeois 
        We need to give you the news 
Oh, Mr. Bourgeois 
        You've got to pay your dues 
And, Mr. Bourgeois 
        Would you polish your shoes 
Mr. Bourgeois 
        Remember your cue 
And Mr. Bourgeois 
        We know you won't let us down