It's about dinner time. My neighborhood is in Sa-bur-bia. Driving my gold 2007 Malibu i pass Chick. She notices me and stares standing in front of her house. We were friends about ten years ago. Chick is still divorced. Tall skinny legs. Educated blu-ish eyes. Wet cherry poppy lips leading to that scent of Chick's bleach flour skin. Her hair long thin yellow feathers. Ever since Halloween 2010 my weird neighbors still have feelings for Chick. Some stupid cosplay dream.
Well... when we were friends Chick told me i reminded her of her old best friend. i forgot the name. Chick has the nerve to have stolen her man. BTW... Chick also told me she throws out her Christmas tree ornaments and buys new ones every year. Chick was and still is way sexier then me. i remember years ago our family camping trips together at Woody's campground. Chick would give my Kreggy the eye. Kreggy would blush. He still likes her. They all like her. We were covered with dirt and stink. No showers for about a week. Chick's baby girl would just suck on Chick's dusty breast while she smiled at us. Them dirty nipples sittin on that red rock. Our husbands staring at em... dreaming about em. Weird to just pass and not say a word. Just looked at the chick and her daughter. Kept driving. I'm usually the first to wave or say: “HI!”
Well... my car turns the corner and passes our doggy park with lots of trees and green. Now i see another ex friend Sha-ru walking her two black labs with her son Pic-Chu. Pic-Chu was my son's Anthony's best friend years ago. We were like family... like Sisters. Brothers. Kept driving. i know they saw me. i didn't wave. Pic-Chu told my Anthony that in some cultures if your caught stealing they cut you're fingers off. Pic-Chu is still angry with Anthony for stealing his Indiana Jones lego six years ago. Sha-ru is angry with me because i dunno maybe some misunderstanding between us piled and a lego was the final straw. Our friendship had to end.
Yeah so my Chevy pulls up to the front of my house. i park. The Mormon next door “Stephanie” waters her yard. i like to give “Stephanie” and her husband “John” hard looks and cool my shit up with my eyes reaching for the sky. i enjoy using the word “bitch” under my breath. i especially want Stephanie to feel scared watching my mouth piss forth my sound of bitch. We were friendly neighbors years ago until Stephanie and John complained to animal control. My chi-wa-wa Peanut barked too much. Too loud. Cops were called. The cops involved.
Well... i also work as a fat food server with my happy fat neighbor Percy. Percy keeps a beautiful house. Lots of birds visit Percy's nest and she hosts many turkey fiestas. Percy's ex husband with his young fresh hen even attend. Every Christmas Percy's ex dresses up as Santa and throws stale candy canes at the kids. From a distance i can see their shadows. Flying inside a rented bounce house. Screaming cliche jingle bells laughing batman smells.
Get to the Point...
i finally ask: “Percy how do you stay happy?” Percy says: “I pray to God. A lot.”