17 Things More Important to Americans than Poems, Poets and Poetics:

by Gary Hardaway

Weekly garbage pickup;
Price to fill the tank of a new Chevy Tahoe;
The ditz chosen at the last rose ceremony of the season on The Bachelor;
The newest color of M&Ms;
Cincinnati Bengals home game ticket prices;
Today's new YouTube kitten;
What Jesus would do were he alive and well in Allgood, Alabama;
Managing the menace of erectile dysfunction;
The price of Bud at the ballpark;
How Stedman really gets his rocks off;
The use of beetle bits to color berry-flavored beverages at Starbucks;
Pamela Anderson's cup size;
Redistributing public funds to private education via vouchers;
The skin shown by singers at the Super Bowl;
The apparent fluctuating weight of Princess Kate,
What Rush Limbaugh said last Thursday;
The effect of tax rates on median income in Orange County, California.