Fun With Literature, Part Two
by Erin Zulkoski
Here are some ideas for stories I have had.
1. A captain of a whaling ship loses his leg to a whale, and makes it is life's mission to find this beast and kill it, and make a pair of boots, belt, and wallet out of its skin.
2. Ten people are invited to stay the weekend at a house, and one by one, all are murdered, until there were none left. Guests are killed off with various household items, such as candlesticks and wrenches.
3. This one is set in the future, and is about a fireman whose job is to burn books, but an encounter with a young girl opens his eyes, and he starts reading the books he burns. Hilarity ensues.
4. A Southern lawyer and his two small children live next door to an eccentric family. The man who lives in the house is a recluse and hasn't been outside in years, so they assume he's a freak. He is. But this freak saves their asses. It's a story of growth, learning, and acceptance. And of freaks.
5. I travel through the Nine Circles of Hell with the aid of some dude. The metal band Styx is there, and also, a three-headed dog.
6. A man, his wife, and young son take refuge in a hotel for the winter. The man goes apeshit crazy, the wife is Olive Oyl from Popeye, and the little boy is creepy as shit. Hilarity also ensues.
7. This idea would work well as a series: a teenaged girl solves mysteries around her town. Think Scooby Doo, but as a chick, and no other meddling kids. A van will be involved, though, but that comes later in the series, and will be entitled "The Mystery of the Missing Virginity."
8. This next one involves two fellows in Depression Era America, and they work as farm hands. One is sweetly retarded and will say phrases like "french fried 'tators, mmm hmm." The other is Gary Sinise.
9. I want to delve into the horror genre more deeply, so this idea is based around an evil clown that terrorizes a neighborhood and kills small children. A rabid dog and vampires might be involved as well, but I haven't decided.
And last, but certainly not least, 10. I also want to explore my law roots, and I have an idea for a tale about a young hot shot lawyer from Mississippi who defends a black man in his murder trial. If this book is popular, and ever gets made into a movie, I would like Samual L. Jackson to star in it.
There you have it; these are ideas that I've been working on. I have high hopes all of them will be successful.
This took some time to build steam, but made me snort with glee like a hippo. *
Tommy, you delight me. Thank you :)
Hilarious!
#2: "I got this after a game of Clue."
Hilarity has ensued.
Fave.
Great ideas. Pass 'em along to Swifty Lazar. (I can get his phone number for you from my friend Kurtwood Smith.)
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