Ravenous, he mows the lawn of her salad; despoils her delicate capers. Olive oil coats his lips.
Her thumbnail traces the edge of the bowl.
D'ya have to be so rough?
He stares at her across a field of greens, fork dripping with readiness:
If you don't like my rough hunger
go feed somebody else.
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sometimes a short phrase will get stuck in my mind and won't leave till I give it a story to be in. Here's one of those. Is "D'ya" one word, or two?
"If you don't like my rough hunger
go feed somebody else."
I like this.
Intentionally two lines? Why?
Really like this. 'despoils her delicate capers' -- so much told in those 4 words. Peace...
Bill, I'm glad it struck you - it's the heart of the piece, what first occurred to me. I tried breaking it up or not, and in different ways, but this one kept the impact the words first had on me so I accommodated its unorthodox line break. I'm such a pushover I guess.
Linda, I appreciate that, I actually sort of wrestled with how to handle that bit. Capers do seem like little secrets soaking in brine, don't they?
*
Good instincts getting this down in words, Daniel. I liked it a lot, especially the ending, the force and anger there, the animal parts that sit waiting inside all of us in moments like this. Cool.