Ferdinand Gets Married
by Bill Yarrow
You have the right to remain angry
but anything you say can and will
be used against you. You have
the right to your own opinion.
If you can't afford an opinion
an opinion will be provided for you.
You have the right to be happy.
If you can't afford happiness
contentment may be made available.
You have the right to consult your
feelings, but your intelligence
may not be present during questioning.
Do you understand these rights?
If you understand these rights, say, “I do.”
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Author's Note
The poem appears in WRENCH (erbacce-press, 2009).
This poem also appears in POINTED SENTENCES (BlazeVOX, 2012).
Other stories by Bill Yarrow
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Enjoyed reading this poem, Bill.
I really enjoyed this and that I could read it in multiple ways: a long-standing couple in a fight, or the entrance to marriage!
A whole new set of vows! I love them, Bill.
Fav
I'm really pleased you all liked the poem. There's a joke underlying this poem. Forgive me for explaining it! Perhaps it'll deepen (well, maybe not) your enjoyment of it.
The Ferdinand in the title is the Ferdinand from Shakespeare's The Tempest. In the play, he is betrothed to marry Miranda.
This poem is in the form of an officer reading a suspect his or her Miranda Rights.
Thus, in the poem Ferdinand is (wait for it) Mirandized!
I love that. So, for me, three ways...
HA HA HA!!! Love this, so true!
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"If you can't afford an opinion an opinion will be provided for you."
Brilliant and very funny. Being an (Oxfordian) Shakespeare freak, I actually got the Miranda joke and yes I see this as more about Civil Procedure than marriage. Yet one institution is much like another here in The Penal Colony under the Panoptican. FAVE
Just wanted to dip back in here and mention that I have been calling people on the phone to read this to them. The attorneys in my network are now all madly in love with you. The Truth is painful so we need to be able to laugh. Thanks for taking us there directly.