For a moment
after my inner tube hit the chunk of telephone pole
embedded just below the river's surface
like a rotting wisdom tooth
after the tube drifted on
leaving me spreadeagled underwater against the pole
immobile in the current's muscular embrace
after I rested there awhile
not breathing
tasting blood in my mouth
mind frantic to surface
to unlock the impossibility
just for a moment
loving the sensation
of being held forever
I thought
oh, why bother?
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I enjoyed this. Love the conciseness, the imagery, the tension, and the unexpected ending.
...gasping for air here. I was there! *
The sensory details bind us close to the experience, and then the cool breath of extinction. Beautifully felt and rendered.
Well done.
Trying to remember if I held my breath while reading this. *
Skillfully written with a Satisfying surprise ending. *
Good work.
Damn.
****
"just for a moment
loving the sensation
of being held forever"
Excellent!