Uffdah! (rise to a standing position) Oy veh! (settle to a seated position)

by Ann Bogle

Goodbye to our mothers and fathers and hello to our perfect bodies carved by frequent sex with our rock band husbands saried in tattoos whose missing or first wives were "icky." Where are their first wives today? I read that Cameron Diaz finds it dangerous that ordinary people seek confirmation online from unseen people and people they scarcely know. Would I write again: All she is is an American card, a freshy, a spectacle—“not bad,” someone might say of her if she were skating Tonya Harding's practice rink in Seattle. Cut people a break!—“are you giving up on U.S.?” selected as she was to reveal her nut on a red carpet.