I imagined you going at her in ferocious fucking--
O, O, O, O, O, O, O Immortal Glistening Cock,
wrapped in latex, fat & hard--
over my Coke Zero and cheese cubes,
over the band that sang the Beatles.
3AM: I will never forget this moment,
where everything is, the way it smells
(cigarette smoke drying my face
like preserved meat)
the way I feel, the way you look.
That piece of lint on your shirt,
an anchor to the memory.
I want to vomit, or die,
or die vomiting, whichever comes first.
I will always remember how you looked:
so beautiful you seemed removed
from the world, sitting outside it,
in bas relief, untouchable.
I great capture. Fabulous imagery. Authentic voice. (preserved meat... the weightlessness of 'lint' and the anchor in the same sentence. The only thing I might think about is either changing the title to 'The Day you Told Me' OR leaving the title the same and change the first line to 'I imagined you going at her ferociously' ... hope that makes sense. Fave!