Snapshots
Daniela said, “I'm winging it!” I looked over that exclamation point fifteen times and not once did it remain an exclamation point. It became a period, an ellipses and a question mark each time I looked. It was California the first time she said it. Five years later, it's Phoenix.
“Do you have a job? Are you going back to school,” I asked, you know, because I'm hip like that.
“Sammie, please,” she said, like that would make the beating in my chest idle. I sighed. She matched it with her own and I saw bright moon eyes made of Amber rolling towards the sky. She was 500 miles away but I saw them. I saw them like we were children, time slipping away like oil through a funnel. I failed to mold her because I wasted, spewing vodka tinged words when we were teens and I was sorry.
“Sammie?”
I couldn't answer. What could I say that she doesn't know?
I felt a burn in my stomach that lurched upward toward my heart, where it settled like a newly melded anchor. Buses belched just outside my window, a bell rung. I laughed, a hearty laugh filled with sorrow. She laughed too.
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Author's Note
Based on a conversation I had with my younger cousin who is like a sister to me. I am struggling with this piece- I edited it three times while submitting it here. Any and all help welcome.
I found it a little confusing. I enjoyed the descriptions you use here, but I would perhaps suggest using a small 'a' on the 'amber' otherwise it can read as though you're alluding to a female called Amber instead of the resin. I think maybe an extra paragraph before the "Sammie?" line might help, but as ever, trust your gut. Who am I to judge?
Hope that helps a little, and would like to add that I enjoyed the tone of the piece very much.