From Solitas To Libramentum
by Steve Finan
Solitas (loneliness)
A salt-whipped beach, breakers crashing far off across the tidal stretch of sand and pools. A walk to fill some hours of the mourning period. ‘You are an orphan now, my boy, but we shall apprentice you to a noble profession that you may make your way in the world'.
Verecundia (shame)
Pieces are carved from the boy. For the amusement of the other masters. A hopeless youth. Why do they send us such fools? Look what he has produced. The apprentice piece is held aloft as the assembly of masters gurgle.
Eruditio (enlightenment)
She was no virgin. But being in love wrought change. Though at the time he thought himself at a pinnacle, it was merely a beginning. Walk tall young man. She freed a part of you that you never suspected was chained. You are gifted confidence.
Exequor (accomplishment)
This is yours. Look around you, see what you have built. It will always be part of you. There is the beginnings of brilliance here, a talent that will take you far. Step from this place and climb until there is nothing left to climb.
Decus (glory)
He who moved mountains. See a man, behold a giant. A long life, a good woman, proud sons. Smile upon cherubic grandchildren. The people cry salut to you around the inns.
Peritia (mastery)
If no loneliness, then no shame. If no shame, then the enlightenment would not have been so pivotal. If no enlightenment, the accomplishment would never allowed you to step up in the world. And, believe me my friend, then you would never have seen glory. The long and difficult forging of your mastery means those grandchildren will never know loneliness or shame.
Libramentum ( . . . a downfall?)
But, and here's the rub, is it then possible for them to achieve their own glory?
|
3
favs |
1013 views
7 comments |
306 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
You are an orphan now, my boy.
Good work, Steve.
There's the rub.
Nice writing.
Much to like here. I especially like the Latin subtitles. I wondered if in this order they are taken from a specific text and if so, which? Seneca?
There's really lovely language in here, for example:
"A salt-whipped beach, breakers crashing far off across the tidal stretch of sand and pools. A walk to fill some hours of the mourning period. "
and
"This is yours. Look around you, see what you have built. It will always be part of you."
and
"He who moved mountains."
I like the shifts in POV, from third to second and back. It's hard to make this work as well as you do here.
My main comment is really that I wanted more. I felt like I was not getting a strong enough sense of this boy/man and why his story was being told. And wanting more is a good thing.
I like these sorts of fractured tales. This is nicely done.
Often glory has to skip a generation.
There is a lot to think about and develop here if you want.
Thanks for all comments.
Seneca Lilia/ I'm afraid I'm not that well educated!
An intersting point John. I think it's a problem in the way I approach my work, my life perhaps. I find it difficult to go back to things. I tend to think of them as done. finished. Closed.
I may try to 'grow' this as a way of conducting an experiment upon myself.