Love Letter From a Content Writer

by Stacie Adams

Are you in need of love like no one's ever known before? Well you're in luck because I just so happen to love you very much, the kind of love only an experienced professional can afford. This love can ensure that you will never be lonely, no matter what may occur. Such occurrences can include waking up to a face full of pustules, losing your ability to think and feel due to a workplace mishap, and just about any other instance that may or may not render you unlovable.

As it stands, I have a long history of loving people, going all the way back to my inception. My mother and father were very lovable people, despite their obvious flaws, and from them I learned the keys to loving successfully and with vigor. While my love may dwindle over time, you can rest assured that you will never come home to find me in flagrante delicto with our beloved pet or some such thing.

In days past, people knew a thing or two about love, as evidenced by the increased marriage retention rates. Statistics show that people stayed married for longer back in the good old days, but there is no telling the quality of these long-term marriages from our admittedly myopic viewpoint. Whether our marriage will be a quality affair really depends. There's no telling what the future may hold for the two of us, including acid attacks, internal parasites, or any other instance which may put a damper on our nuptials.

What I will promise is that I can offer full and comprehensive love that will see you through all the horrid things that can happen when you fail to properly illuminate exit signs in a workplace. While I can't promise we won't run into obstacles to our love, I can assure you that I will try my hardest to offer swift and decisive action in the face of those who to wish injure us, via either auto accidents or defective products.