Seattle November
by Robert Crisman
He ate husks of bone and old paper scraps with yesterday's headlines, blowing down the street like tumbleweeds now at four o'clock in the morning.
He wrapped himself in an old army coat against the November winds as he tramped back and forth, back and forth, up the ten blocks and then back down again, like a slow-motion yoyo on First.
His companions included a wreck in old army coat just like his. The wreck was a young man, silent since birth, whose dreams, assuming he'd ever dreamed dreams, were as air in an old empty sack.
He passed by the winos and nutbags, the freaks in the doorways, the bad breath and werewolves all clustered in shadows and under the neon downtown--the rot of dead sex on display.
He breathed the miasmic dank dark decay and marveled that hell was so empty...
A bleak portrait that you paint so well!
Just wait, he's early. Total Crisman.
As I said on 6S, splendid. The marvel is that you survived to write about it. Fave.
It really is dark in Seattle in November, isn't it?
Beautiful use of language to portray such a dark and deep sliver of life. Nice.
Poetic and razor sharp. I'm not usually a micro-fiction kind of guy, but this blew me away.
I've tramped many hours on Seattle's 1st Ave., and brother, you've captured the ambiance in 140 words. Screw-top wine and air in an old empty sack. Dead sex on display, indeed. Killer of a closing sentence! *
"were as air in an old empty sack" - a most telling line, in a piece of telling lines. Your writing never loses its gut-punching ability.