I felt as if someone had pulled me in by the belt, or grabbed me by a knot in the hair, and kissed me with fire-engine lips. I was happy. I was in love. I couldn't feel my fingers or my toes or my brain. Then my lips went wet with something warm.
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Author's Note
A piece of 'flash-fiction' (55 words) that I'd been working on for some time and that I liked enough to post here.
Really well written and very interesting piece. The combination of the themes, of love and war, meld to something quite disturbing in the last line. "Fire-engine lips" gets the colour and impact but jolts me out of the setting I'd imagined. Not sure if this is what you had intended. I like the image of being grabbed by a knot in the hair, it's strong. Great fiction ride.
Thank you very much for the comment! I actually had a tough time deciding whether to use the phrase 'fire-engine lips' there; I wanted to give a sense of passion, or excitement, or danger, but without pulling you out of the setting, which you mentioned that it did for you. I'll definitely be tinkering with it. Thanks again!
Really well written and very interesting piece. The combination of the themes, of love and war, meld to something quite disturbing in the last line. "Fire-engine lips" gets the colour and impact but jolts me out of the setting I'd imagined. Not sure if this is what you had intended. I like the image of being grabbed by a knot in the hair, it's strong. Great fiction ride.
Thank you very much for the comment! I actually had a tough time deciding whether to use the phrase 'fire-engine lips' there; I wanted to give a sense of passion, or excitement, or danger, but without pulling you out of the setting, which you mentioned that it did for you. I'll definitely be tinkering with it. Thanks again!