A woman's hips like an Appalachian crest, her breasts foothills: these among infinite eye-pleasures the blind never witness. Take this blind man: his older brother mouthed out descriptions: a dim wood-paneled stair leading to the ladies' rooms, candle-lit. It's like a mouth, the candles its teeth. The browned gold of whisky drizzled from ivory-stained bottles. Among what his brother would never see: the grunts of ramped hips below him, the brine smell of sweat, the air licked their skin, a cavern where sight should've been. The sound of his brother in the next room, not fucking, but sobbing and talking. Whispers about not taking it anymore, that it's too hard. Our blind man, he thinks his brother must mean him, the sight of him, one hand upon his brother's shoulder, as they shuffle after one another down a sidewalk. That is what he thinks—even, what he sees.
2
favs |
1115 views
3 comments |
158 words
All rights reserved. |
More Freaks! Go to Future Tense's website to to check out the front cover: http://www.futuretensebooks.com/futuret/books.html
This story has no tags.
With all respect to those I've read in the past week or so, this is my favorite I've come across.
And I promise it's not just because you open with simile that incorporates my Appalachian Mountains. That caught my eye, but the control and fresh language and the larger picture of the story itself here is just great. That final sentence – the dash and the bold placement of the comma there and the finality it implies is near stunning.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I really like this, Jamie. I'm glad and I had the chance to read it.
Sheldon, thanks so much for such a thoughtful comment.
For me this really coalesces with 'The sound of his brother in the next room...' through the ending. Love 'Our blind man...' too. Good stuff.