Slivers from the edge

Beautiful scene. Love the final stanza, a little twist.

I would let go of "of water." First stanza is excellent. Reads well out loud. Chains descend into a watery cold needs to be played with. Let the reader's imagination take them down into the watery cold with the chains. Such as, in a stiff watery cold, or on a cold watery path. Something that forces the imagination to kick in and supply the visual. Pink tongue laps bitter salt. Don't name the salt water, paint it. Otherwise, I like it quite a lot.

I see it.*

Thanks Darryl.

Beautiful images that create a full sensory rendition of the scene in sound, sight, even taste.

Thanks David, Dianne, Tim!

Wonderful imagery. My kind of territory.

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