Politicouscous I

by Gary Hardaway

Waiting for the Master's Generosity

We slump,
abusively well-trained dogs
with low-hung tails
wagging without enthusiasm,

and wait,
patient for the golden shower
they will trickle
down on us,

so glad
to have our place
we hide our glances elsewhere,
heads low, lest we seem ungrateful.

Coulter Rumor Mill

When will
Ann get out of
rehab for coke abuse?
I miss that hissing, thin, Nazi-
blonde skank.

At RaceTrac

Were the coffee and gas not cheap,
and in the case of the coffee, good,
I'd never stop again.
Corporate culture hallmarks spin
this 21st century company town:
nametags, with “associate”,
that cite the length of service
with a starting year,
magnetically pinned to dark-hued
polo shirts above the khaki slacks
all genders wear;
the use of “ guest”
instead of  “customer”
to let this rag-tag bunch
of drag-ass patrons on an
awesome Tuesday morning know
how special we are,
special enough for trained, enforced
and phony friendliness.
The South does rise again,  
riding the wave of Reaganomics,
to be-pock the landscape
with its RaceTracs, Whataburgers,
Walmarts, Cracker Barrels
and Chik-fil-aise.

Milton Friedman, 1912-2006

I'm told that Miltie-
his friends called him Miltie-
trickle-down economics
standing at the urinal
one really bad
enlarged prostate day.
Cue the dancing-on-his-grave

Cotton Candy

What the new
conservatives want,
running the Texas Board
of Education (oxymoronic phrase
if ever there was one), is spun sugar
histories  of European Christians  in America
and the world
in textbooks post-
literate kids will use
to pass state sanctioned
tests of fundamental skills
that merely
demonstrate each
year that public education
is deficient, not to be trusted,
in need of charter schools and
vouchers so that European Christian
descendants can avail themselves of public
funds for
private purposes.
Of course, we still have
histories and photographs
and film strips to show what
perfectly horrid folk those European
Christians  have been in Europe, Africa,
America (North and South), Asia, Australia
and even white Antarctica.