Catherine
Intertwined (Co-dependent)
On her own she cannot stand
What is safety? Where is love?
Defined in her selfsame man
Love free of independence is a savage, hungry beast
Phantoms grasping, sweating, gasping 'till her mind could not be freed
A heart too burning to be ice, though revenge seemed so cold
All she needed was prostration
forever hers alone
Catherine's singing on the moor
her voice ringing from beyond
Haunted since she was a child
by the same, tired song
it's as old as love and love betrayed
as old as when first feelings fade
as old as when sparks light anew as
old as me as
old as you
|
9
favs |
1264 views
15 comments |
116 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
For Catherine Earnshaw, who deserved better, especially from herself.
Other stories by Emily Sparkles
Tags
This story has no tags.
Comments
You must
log in
to post comments.
I love those last lines in particular. I feel the second stanza needs restructuring.
The swaying of the last stanza-- mesmerizing. *
*, Emily. Agree w/Mathew. Last stanza is so well done. That different Emily would be nodding and smiling..
SDR - I'm open to suggestions. If eel like each stanza has its own rhythm, and I'm not sure if I like that.
Mathew and David - the last stanza is the heart of it, when I was writing, so I am very glad to read your comments. I hope Emily would approve. :)
The closing is very strong. **
Catherine's singing on the moor
her voice ringing from beyond
Haunted since she was a child
by the same, tired song
Lovely!
(See what happens when you formalize this, that is, when you unify the stanzas.)
So true. Love this.
*The third line in the second stanza and the lines that begin with "Haunted" are the places where you can play a bit, I think. The rest of the poem is just right and its a powerful theme. The ending verse is brilliant, but I like that you've resisted the singing rhythm until then. You've got it, Emily.
Good balance.
Good balance. Strong one - especiall like the closing stanzes
Thank you, Rachna and Dianne!
Bill - I see what you see.
Nonnie - You picked out the line in stanza two that has given me the most trouble!
Thank you, Sam!
YES, THE LAST IS WHERE YOU LET YOURSELF HAVE THE REAL POWER TO SING..BILL SHOWED YOU THE FORCE BEHIND FORMALIZING AND UNIFYING YOUR THOUGHT. Never be afraid to get into the poem again and see where it can be made to be stronger.But, still, overall, it is your poem--nobody else's--and that's where you have the ultimate power. Good job.
Thank you, Darryl! Your feedback resonates deeply. I will hold on to it.
Way to go, Emily.*
Thank you, Tim :)