Aurora
Soon everyone will know
what is coming.
You cast a spell of heaviness and I
crumple, horizontal.
Like Aurora, sleep is my destiny.
Tantalus in reverse, my curse
from food forever I will flee,
while everything changes;
discomfort and turbulence
terrifying in a way that strikes
awe more than fear.
Every ounce of distress.
Every lost opportunity
will be worth what you'll bring.
|
6
favs |
1206 views
9 comments |
64 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
Title suggestions welcomed (as always).
Other stories by Emily Sparkles
Tags
This story has no tags.
Comments
You must
log in
to post comments.
Like Aurora, sleep is my destiny.
You've cast a spell on me, but I'm smiling. *
Maybe this:
You cast a spell and I
crumple. Like Aurora,
sleep is my destiny..
Also if it ended at:
"will be worth what you'll bring."
(In my mind that is a stronger image than "Soon...")
JMHO.
I just had a thought, why not put the last line at the beginning?
Rachna and SDR - I see what you see. Thank you for the edits!
I think there are two different poems here (stanzas 1, 4 + 5, stanzas 2 + 3), but I like them both!
*
Nicely done. Beautiful poem. You could play around with it. Put the first two lines last to make a completely new animal out of the one you've already fashioned--you have that freedom.
What Darryl said.*
Darryl and Tim - thank you for your comments. Initially, those lines were at the end. This one has had a string of edits, and something tells me she isn't done. Now that the information is public, everyone can know this is about being pregnant for the first time. Trying to capture it metaphorically but realistically, a challenge not easy to achieve.