Off the Wall
by Diane Becker
In the kitchen, underneath the mirror and to the left of the etching of the cockerel was the word outspoken. It was written in pencil as were the words I love you scrawled under the skillet which hung above the stove. Once we'd spotted these we had to look for more. We found two pieces of wood in the back room with the word mine scrawled across them and in the living room above the fire, someone had gouged a letter A on the wall. It would have been churlish to paint them over, so we didn't, we left them as they were. Amongst the things that were our own were words that belonged to nobody at all.
I really like this phrasing in the middle - "We found two pieces of wood in the back room with the word mine scrawled across them and in the living room above the fire, someone had gouged a letter A on the wall." Good work, Diane.
Mysterious and engaging. Enjoyed very much.
Thank you Sam and Bill too for your comments. Much appreciated.
I like this a lot. It’s mysterious in the way that smoke is if asked to define a shape.
I think about the connection between the words; outspoken, I love you, mine, & a. Is there any correlation? Could a correlation make this make a more definitive message? or story?
I’m not sure but either way the piece made me ponder the contents of the house, living room and all.
I like the depth of content and occurence with such few words. Nice piece.
Pete, thanks for your comments about 'connections', but your last paragraph answers how I feel as a writer (and reader), I like stories that leave room for the reader to fill in the gaps.
Roberto, I really appreciate your comments. Thank you.
Strong, enigmatic. A curiosity. That "they" don't paint the words over is wonderful.
Many thanks Jack, glad you enjoyed it. You're right, it would be so *wrong* to paint over words!
I so liked this piece... loved the idea of the words of others living with the new people. The wonderful world created by the words left behind provide so much for the reader to think about and create on her own.