The Better I Knew Her, the Less I Liked Her

I thought that she'd be perfect—
I thought that she'd be fine.
I thought we'd be in love forever—
I thought that she'd be mine.

But as I looked into her eyes
She told me—she liked to pull wings off flies.
The better I knew her—
The less I liked her.

I continued to date her,
for awhile I just played dumb.
She told me how she once gave a raccoon
A stick of chewing gum.

She sat and watched as he washed it
When his paws stuck she had a laughing fit.
The better I knew her—
The less I liked her.

When she was a little kid,
she painted her best friend green.
She was sent to a Home for Wayward Girls
as soon as she hit thirteen.

I thought that I would love her
for her spunk and for her sass.
But I found out she wasn't so nice
Sugar ‘n spice? My dyin' ass!

She cut off all the hair
Above a playmate's right ear.
Then as the little girl sat there
She held up a plastic hand mirror.

She said “Which side do you like better?”
That's why I've decided to forget her—
The better I knew her—
The less I liked her.