by C.F. Pierce
Short Story Submission: “Rover Run” by Alice Johnson
See Rover.
See Rover run.
See Rover run on the road.
See Rover almost get run over.
Critique (by fellow student writer):
Alice,
I really enjoyed your story. I was particularly impressed by the exclusive use of present tense. I have rarely seen short stories written entirely in one tense. It was a brave choice, but you pulled it off. The uncompromising use of present tense created a compelling sense of immediacy. Bravo.
I also found your combined use of alliteration and repetition extremely effective. If the piece were read aloud, it would read very well.
I am totally intrigued by Rover. I'd like to know more about him. Who is he? (Or she?) And why is he running? Is he running away from something? If so, what?
You may want to consider providing a few more details while still allowing the reader to fill in the gaps.
The close call at the end was thought provoking.
Nice job. Well done. Thanks for sharing.
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originally published in www.hobopancakes.com
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Good companion piece to "Workshop" be Billy Collins. This lead me to a fascinating venue. Enjoyed.
Thank you Sam.
As I put myself through more poetry workshops, I find this pitch perfect. Definitely reminded me of Collins' Workshop. *
Thanks Loren.
This is funny.
A blueprint for future workshops.*
Perfect reminder of why I religiously avoid workshops. *
Thank you, Samuel, Gary, and Mathew.