For You, For Me
by Brenda Bishop Blakey
Sometimes we lose things,
keys, sunglasses, a favorite pocket knife.
These are just things after all.
Easy to buy another, transfer the value
to the new object.
Many times we lose chances,
vows, prayers, understanding.
Our pride creates a stand-off.
Difficult to duplicate, wait for a do-over
or a new subject.
Occasionally we lose people,
lovers, friends, acquaintances.
We demand all the attention.
Impossible to command, one cannot both
guide and simultaneously be in the spotlight.
Periodically we find a thing which went missing,
our courage, our hope, our resolve.
We wonder if the omission is why we failed.
Possibly we left it behind on the dock when
traversing a vast lake in search of some false goal.
Rarely can we re-navigate a life,
the current, the undertow, the wake.
If only someone had left us a note in a bottle.
Now we scurry to mark every buoy with hints
so as to prevent newcomers from crashing.
Each stanza seems to be its own poem so you might consider numbering them, seperate them into four parts with the last 2 stanzas being the fourth part?
Samuel, I like the poem the way it is. Thanks for reading it, though.
You're welcome.
A lot of wisdom here. *
SDR is full of crap.
The adverbs are too unassertive and conditional. I would find the argument more persuasive if the stanzas began:
We lose things...
We lose chances...
We lose people...
We find a thing which went missing...
We can re-navigate...
Just my sense of it, of course.
"The adverbs are too unassertive and conditional."
Yes.
I like the sentiment expressed, can't really comment on the nuances.*
Hardaway needs to get a hard on.
If you want to bastardize your poem then take Hardaway's advice.
I woke up on the wrong side this morning, but seriously, all Hardaway had to say was that he disagreed with me.
Anyway delete my comments, I've no wish to derail your comment section.
SDR
@Charlotte
Thank you for looking for a message, a feeling, in my poem. This is the reason I wrote it, that folks might find something in it to take away, to keep. You once commented that you have skills. This is true, you do.
@Gary H.
Although my opinions often differ from yours, I will fight for your right to espouse your opinions at the top of your lungs.
@Amanda Harris
Yes
@GVP
Thank you having a read.
@SDR
Although my opinions often differ from yours, I will fight for your right to espouse your opinions at the top of your lungs.
Thank you profusely.
@SDR No thanks required.
Enjoyed *
John, I am so pleased you told me.
Sometimes we lose things...
Many times we lose chances...
Occasionally we lose people...
Periodically we find a thing which went missing...
Rarely can we re-navigate a life...
Love this.
Excellent, Brenda!
*
"The phantom against which we wage war"
For what it's worth, I like this as a title.
Bill, thank you for reading. You know, I am not happy with the title "For You, For Me" but still not sure about changing it.
What this signals to me is the undeniable fact that the poem is not through with me just yet.