I’m Not a Needy Film Project

by Bob Eckstein

In prior years I've told you of my financial woes but I am now at a crossroads. With no prospects in sight, I am still single and career-less. I think everyone who knows me knows I am goal-oriented but will also agree I like to have things done for me—a catch-22. Of course, my happiness is not only important to my family and friends, but even more so to me.

Thanks to the popular funding platform Kickstarter, I am finally getting my life in order with the help of generous people like you. Dating in this economy, without a job, is surprisingly expensive. Kickstarter helps fringe ventures get off-the-ground but an indie film is just a fleeting moment. With my project you'll be helping me achieve, hopefully, many moments of joy and elation. Kickstarter can provide me the resources I've always lacked and kept me from getting my ducks in a row. I'll provide the clean slate and Kickstarter will provide the means to make things happen for me in a positive direction.

By now I'm sure you're asking, how can I help? You don't have to do anything. I will make all the difficult business and creative decisions. This protects everyone involved and nobody is disappointed because your expectations are low, as are mine. All I ask of you is to give as much as you can. I need $68,000 by January 12th to reach my funding goal. This is my target amount which, if not met, I receive nothing and any efforts to make something of myself will cease. For a small pledge of $125 or more you will become a personal sponsor and be accepted as a friend on my Facebook page where you will receive timely updates of my whereabouts and relationship status. As a corporate sponsor at the $1,500 or more plateau you will be privy to exclusive photos and details of my dating so that you can see your dollars at work. Your name would be listed in the credits in any documentary-style movies filmed from my cell phone. For $5,000 or more I will wear your company's name or your organization's logo on the back of a windbreaker I will proudly wear when I make public appearances.

Why so much? How will your contributions be utilized? Being a realist, I know that before I can do any of this I need to first address my health issues. My doctor laid out for me a plan which includes lifestyle changes to address a myriad of ailments stemming from my high cholesterol, high blood pressure and hypoglycemia—just some of the repercussions from years of good living that has now come back to bite me in the ass. So the first objective will be to invest in my health and get me down to a fighting weight to be more presentable on job interviews and competitive on the dating circuit. With the help of your backing, I will begin a strict raw food diet accompanied by moderate exercise. I already have a personal trainer in mind and plan to purchase a top-rate juicer to use only with organic food from my local farmer's market. But that is Phase Two which doesn't start until the all-important Phase One.

Quite frankly, there is no Phase Two without Phase One. This first phase will prepare me for the rigors of an extreme raw food diet and get all the bad habits out of my system. I take my weight problem very seriously and want to be fully committed to a health regiment by having no regrets. Thanks to Kickstarter, I will accomplish that during a week-long stay in Las Vegas using 24-hr Total Rewards© buffet passes which start the minute you buy them and give one unlimited access to fourteen different All-You-Can-Eat restaurants located conveniently along the Strip. With proper planning (a spreadsheet mapping it out) I could be eating up to seven or eight meals a day! Your generous gifts would be covering my room and airfare for me (and a friend), and miscellaneous expenses (tips, spas and Carrot Top, etc.). Additional funds would cover any gambling at the casino tables, if I can pull myself away long enough from the buffet tables (just joking, kind of).

I return from the West Coast able to look myself in the mirror knowing I left nothing on the table, ready to attack Phase Two. How long this stage will last even I can't venture to guess but I overestimated my target amount of $68,000 to account for that. But as a loyal backer you'll be the second person to know.

Phase Three is the most gratifying stage and the one I get the most questions about as we finally get my life into high gear and reap the rewards of all MY hard work and all YOUR money. A culmination of the trip, the dieting, the working out—it all comes together with a makeover featuring new clothes and hairstyle. From there it's time to find out how I fare with the ladies and on the job market by utilizing all the available social avenues like Linked-In, Match.com, Ashley Madison, eCompromise, etc. I'm going to go out on a limb now and say I like my chances.

Finally we come to Phase Four, the maintenance stage where, with additional funds, I will hire a life coach to take my muddled decisions and turn them into crystal clear career moves and sound life choices. By this time I expect to have an exciting new vocation and an above-average looking partner...but it begins with the first baby step and your involvement.

Please consider supporting me in this endeavor by joining me and my backers by digging deep and making a tax-free (please check with your accountant) contribution or pledge. My future is literally in our collective hands. It's time for us to act and make a true difference. Thank you for your time and I hope you too recognize my importance to all of us.