Forum / Albert Grossman Eats Your Lunch

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  Chris Okum

  Aug 01, 08:14pm

  You want me to tell you what I think of your song? You really want me to tell you? Fine, I'll tell you. I think your voice makes me want to take a screwdriver and jam it in my ears. I think your lyrics are some of the worst doggerel this side of Rod fucking McKuen. I think you can't play the guitar for shit and if I cared just a little bit about whether or not you were going to continue making music - and based on the fact that you have absolutely no talent whatsoever I doubt you will - I would light your instrument on fire while you held it in your hands. I think that what you need to do is have your vocal chords removed, but you shouldn't bother with a surgeon, I think you should do it yourself, with a pair of rusty pliers. I think you should break your own hands so that you never write another word and I think you should be forced to eat your guitar. You've got a lot of nerve thinking I - or anyone else - would want to hear what I can only describe as anti-music. On top of all that, you're not very pleasant to look at and you dress like a creep. In short, you are the most repugnant asshole I have ever met and if I wasn't sitting here with my wife and kids I would punch you in your balls, that is, if you have any balls, which I also doubt. I bet if I gave you a thousand dollars right this second and gave you directions to the nearest whorehouse you would find it impossible to get laid. Should the plague ever make a return I hope it finds your first, middle and last and passes on to no one else. Now, if you don't get out of my sight in less than five seconds I have it in mind to pick you up by the back of your stupid looking jeans and toss you through that plate glass window. However, I would like to see you one more time, and one time only, and that is when you bring me my iced tea and tuna salad sandwich."

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  Mathew Paust

  Aug 02, 04:49pm

  So, Big Al, do you want me to piss in your tea or spit on your tuna?

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  Chris Okum

  Aug 02, 05:06pm

  "I'd prefer it if you crapped in your own mouth."

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  Adam Sifre

  Aug 02, 07:39pm

  Managers never get kudos.

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  Chris Okum

  Aug 02, 07:52pm

  No, Adam, they never get kudos. They just get all the money.

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