Forum / A thread not about sexism, misogyny, or gender bias
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Sally HoutmanAug 17, 09:17pmDiscuss.
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Iain James RobbAug 17, 09:20pmI've been watching Bad Judge recently after downloading the first and only series. I rather like it. Pity it was cancelled.
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Mathew PaustAug 17, 09:20pmWhat else is there?
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Sally HoutmanAug 17, 09:21pm
Okay, I'll start.
So...
There were two fish in a tank.
One turns to the other and says,
"Do you even know how to drive this thing?"
........
Discuss.
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Nonnie AugustineAug 17, 09:28pmOf course I do. I'm an intelligent, strong, independent female fish who prefers sex with male fish. Not that there's anything wrong with that...
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Mathew PaustAug 17, 09:51pm
No irony deficiency here...yet.
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Samuel Derrick RosenAug 17, 10:56pm
I just watched the 1970 version of Wuthering Heights and now I'm watching the BBC 1983 mini series version of Jane Eyre.
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Sally HoutmanAug 17, 11:05pm
I just made the world's most delicious Miso salad dressing - Miso paste+rice vinegar+garlic+ginger+sesame oil+soy sauce. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.
and who invited Matthew Paust to this party?
He'll just come in here with his calm, sane, rational, unbiased, impartial, humorous, nonjudgmental, opinions, and ruin the whole damned thing.
God, I *hate* that man!
:)
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Matthew RobinsonAug 18, 03:19amI lost 3 pounds last week.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:39amA Joke by Neil Hamburger
Q: Why won't rapists eat at Denny's?
A: Because it's hard to rape someone when you have diarrhea. -
Chris OkumAug 18, 03:41am
Oh, no wait, it's not Denny's. It's TGI Fridays.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:41am
Hold on, let me check.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:42am
Yeah, it's TGI Fridays. Why won't rapists eat at TGI Friday's, not Denny's.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:42am
Although, you know, it kind of works both ways.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:43am
If I had made up the joke I would have picked The Cheesecake Factory. I hate The Cheesecake Factory.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:45am
No, wait, I mean I hate The Old Spaghetti Factory. I went on a date to The Old Spaghetti Factory and ordered a plate of spaghetti and meatballs and a cup of black coffee and twenty minutes after we left the restaurant I had diarrhea. Bad diarrhea.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:45am
Now that I think about it thought that may have not been The Old Spaghetti Factory's fault. You order spaghetti and meatballs and a cup of black coffee and you are kind of asking for it.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:46am
We went directly from The Old Spaghetti Factory (hereafter referred to as TOSF) to an art gallery. The second we walked in I knew I had to use the restroom.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:47am
The art galley had one restroom. For men and women.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:47am
And there was a line.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:47am
I told my date I had to leave. I said I had left my wallet at TOSF and that I would be right back.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:48am
I drove around looking for a place where I could go diarrhea. I spotted a Yoshinoya Beef Bowl. I walked in and asked if I could use the restroom.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:50am
They told me I had to buy something. For customer's only, they said. So I bought a Chicken Teriyaki bowl. I brought it into the restroom with me. I placed it at my feet and did my business. When I was done I took the Chicken Teriyaki bowl and dumped it into the toilet. I don't know why I did that. I flushed.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:51am
When I got back to the art gallery my date was hanging out with some friends of hers. One was a guy I knew she had slept with even though she wouldn't admit it. I could tell by the way they looked at each other when they were talking. They held eye contact for a beat too long.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:52am
I'm not quite sure what the point of this is.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:53am
At first I thought the point was, Hey, don't go to TOSF. But know I realize that you don't need to go to TOSF to order a plate of spaghetti and meatballs and a cup of coffee. You could do that anywhere.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:53am
You could do it at home if you wanted.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:53am
But don't. I'm telling you. It doesn't feel good.
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Chris OkumAug 18, 03:54am
I don't know a lot of jokes. That was the only one. Good night.
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Matthew RobinsonAug 18, 04:24am
Chris, thank you for sharing. That must've been hard. I, too, know the pain of mixing pasta and caffeine. More tears in my story, though.
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Iain James RobbAug 18, 06:40am
I once made a venison ghoulash thing at home and put too much chilli peppers in it. I used Scotch Bonnets. It gave me the doodies for three days.
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Mathew PaustAug 18, 03:06pm
Next time youse have diarrhea, take loperamide, the generic version of Imodium--http://www.drugs.com/imodium.html
It also works wonders with a rumbly gut.
Dat's all. Over 'n' out.
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Samuel Derrick RosenAug 18, 10:38pm
You can't beat the ash of a ghoul.
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Ann BogleAug 26, 11:19pmI mentioned Chris Okum today on Facebook in the context of Metta Sama's post about the white supremacy of AWP (white supremacy not restricted to AWP):
I wrote, One more thing, with the thought of Chris Okum in mind, why not an article about Nathaniel Hawthorne's fuckstyle? I have not read Hawthorne's notebooks (now of interest due to the article I read [in _The Writer's Chronicle_]). Nevertheless, my guess is that Hawthorne's fiction might be the best source for surmising his fuckstyle.
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Ann BogleAug 26, 11:26pm
Since I have bothered to cross-hatch in this exact way today, today, which is now (my college Shakespeare professor asked me in his sophomore fiction class, "Do you want to be a whicher?") let me ask myself why, considering that this thread, the present one, relates, without any need to surmise, to Chris Okum's diarrhea style.
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Ann BogleAug 26, 11:27pm
♥
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Ann BogleAug 26, 11:32pm
or his narrator's
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Chris OkumAug 27, 12:14am
While performing with his band on a Memphis cable access talk show Tav Falco was asked by the woman hosting the show - who clearly detested his authentic rendering of the rock and roll blues - why he insisted on playing 'anti-music.' His response? 'Because this is an anti-musical environment.'
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Mathew PaustAug 29, 02:51pm
Chris, would you consider serving as moderator for the next GOP "presidential" debate?
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Chris OkumAug 29, 03:45pm
I would make them watch this:
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Mathew PaustAug 29, 08:40pm
It would do them good. And, therefore, us.
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James Lloyd DavisAug 30, 03:18pmTwo Mexicans walk in a bar.
They order Canadian cervezas.
One turns to the other and said, "Why do gringos have burns on their faces the morning after a Halloween party?"
"I don't know. Why?"
"Bobbing for French fries." -
Mathew PaustAug 30, 06:00pm
...cough cough...
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Chris OkumAug 30, 11:21pm
I'm not going to patronize this site if people are making offensive remarks about Canadians. I'm leaving, off to Facebook to talk shit about JL Davis.
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James Lloyd DavisAug 31, 01:21pm
Two Canadians walk in this bar...
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Mathew PaustAug 31, 04:09pm
...hack wheeze...
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