Forum / A thread not about sexism, misogyny, or gender bias

  • Rebel.thumb
    Sally Houtman
    Aug 17, 09:17pm

    Discuss.

  • Post-26229-12790230958.thumb
    Iain James Robb
    Aug 17, 09:20pm

    I've been watching Bad Judge recently after downloading the first and only series. I rather like it. Pity it was cancelled.

  • Mugshotme_(3).thumb
    Mathew Paust
    Aug 17, 09:20pm

    What else is there?

  • Rebel.thumb
    Sally Houtman
    Aug 17, 09:21pm

    Okay, I'll start.

    So...

    There were two fish in a tank.

    One turns to the other and says,

    "Do you even know how to drive this thing?"

    ........

    Discuss.

  • Panama_hat.thumb
    Nonnie Augustine
    Aug 17, 09:28pm

    Of course I do. I'm an intelligent, strong, independent female fish who prefers sex with male fish. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

  • Mugshotme_(3).thumb
    Mathew Paust
    Aug 17, 09:51pm

    No irony deficiency here...yet.

  • Samuel Derrick Rosen
    Aug 17, 10:56pm

    I just watched the 1970 version of Wuthering Heights and now I'm watching the BBC 1983 mini series version of Jane Eyre.

  • Rebel.thumb
    Sally Houtman
    Aug 17, 11:05pm

    I just made the world's most delicious Miso salad dressing - Miso paste+rice vinegar+garlic+ginger+sesame oil+soy sauce. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

    and who invited Matthew Paust to this party?

    He'll just come in here with his calm, sane, rational, unbiased, impartial, humorous, nonjudgmental, opinions, and ruin the whole damned thing.

    God, I *hate* that man!

    :)

  • 62698557287.thumb
    Matthew Robinson
    Aug 18, 03:19am

    I lost 3 pounds last week.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:39am

    A Joke by Neil Hamburger

    Q: Why won't rapists eat at Denny's?
    A: Because it's hard to rape someone when you have diarrhea.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:41am

    Oh, no wait, it's not Denny's. It's TGI Fridays.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:41am

    Hold on, let me check.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:42am

    Yeah, it's TGI Fridays. Why won't rapists eat at TGI Friday's, not Denny's.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:42am

    Although, you know, it kind of works both ways.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:43am

    If I had made up the joke I would have picked The Cheesecake Factory. I hate The Cheesecake Factory.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:45am

    No, wait, I mean I hate The Old Spaghetti Factory. I went on a date to The Old Spaghetti Factory and ordered a plate of spaghetti and meatballs and a cup of black coffee and twenty minutes after we left the restaurant I had diarrhea. Bad diarrhea.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:45am

    Now that I think about it thought that may have not been The Old Spaghetti Factory's fault. You order spaghetti and meatballs and a cup of black coffee and you are kind of asking for it.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:46am

    We went directly from The Old Spaghetti Factory (hereafter referred to as TOSF) to an art gallery. The second we walked in I knew I had to use the restroom.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:47am

    The art galley had one restroom. For men and women.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:47am

    And there was a line.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:47am

    I told my date I had to leave. I said I had left my wallet at TOSF and that I would be right back.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:48am

    I drove around looking for a place where I could go diarrhea. I spotted a Yoshinoya Beef Bowl. I walked in and asked if I could use the restroom.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:50am

    They told me I had to buy something. For customer's only, they said. So I bought a Chicken Teriyaki bowl. I brought it into the restroom with me. I placed it at my feet and did my business. When I was done I took the Chicken Teriyaki bowl and dumped it into the toilet. I don't know why I did that. I flushed.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:51am

    When I got back to the art gallery my date was hanging out with some friends of hers. One was a guy I knew she had slept with even though she wouldn't admit it. I could tell by the way they looked at each other when they were talking. They held eye contact for a beat too long.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:52am

    I'm not quite sure what the point of this is.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:53am

    At first I thought the point was, Hey, don't go to TOSF. But know I realize that you don't need to go to TOSF to order a plate of spaghetti and meatballs and a cup of coffee. You could do that anywhere.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:53am

    You could do it at home if you wanted.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:53am

    But don't. I'm telling you. It doesn't feel good.

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 18, 03:54am

    I don't know a lot of jokes. That was the only one. Good night.

  • 62698557287.thumb
    Matthew Robinson
    Aug 18, 04:24am

    Chris, thank you for sharing. That must've been hard. I, too, know the pain of mixing pasta and caffeine. More tears in my story, though.

  • Post-26229-12790230958.thumb
    Iain James Robb
    Aug 18, 06:40am

    I once made a venison ghoulash thing at home and put too much chilli peppers in it. I used Scotch Bonnets. It gave me the doodies for three days.

  • Mugshotme_(3).thumb
    Mathew Paust
    Aug 18, 03:06pm

    Next time youse have diarrhea, take loperamide, the generic version of Imodium--http://www.drugs.com/imodium.html

    It also works wonders with a rumbly gut.

    Dat's all. Over 'n' out.

  • Samuel Derrick Rosen
    Aug 18, 10:38pm

    You can't beat the ash of a ghoul.

  • Image.bedroom.009.expose.thumb
    Ann Bogle
    Aug 26, 11:19pm

    I mentioned Chris Okum today on Facebook in the context of Metta Sama's post about the white supremacy of AWP (white supremacy not restricted to AWP):

    I wrote, One more thing, with the thought of Chris Okum in mind, why not an article about Nathaniel Hawthorne's fuckstyle? I have not read Hawthorne's notebooks (now of interest due to the article I read [in _The Writer's Chronicle_]). Nevertheless, my guess is that Hawthorne's fiction might be the best source for surmising his fuckstyle.

  • Image.bedroom.009.expose.thumb
    Ann Bogle
    Aug 26, 11:26pm

    Since I have bothered to cross-hatch in this exact way today, today, which is now (my college Shakespeare professor asked me in his sophomore fiction class, "Do you want to be a whicher?") let me ask myself why, considering that this thread, the present one, relates, without any need to surmise, to Chris Okum's diarrhea style.

  • Image.bedroom.009.expose.thumb
    Ann Bogle
    Aug 26, 11:27pm

  • Image.bedroom.009.expose.thumb
    Ann Bogle
    Aug 26, 11:32pm

    or his narrator's

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 27, 12:14am

    While performing with his band on a Memphis cable access talk show Tav Falco was asked by the woman hosting the show - who clearly detested his authentic rendering of the rock and roll blues - why he insisted on playing 'anti-music.' His response? 'Because this is an anti-musical environment.'

  • Mugshotme_(3).thumb
    Mathew Paust
    Aug 29, 02:51pm

    Chris, would you consider serving as moderator for the next GOP "presidential" debate?

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 29, 03:45pm

    I would make them watch this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRP1Ud_wVTk

  • Mugshotme_(3).thumb
    Mathew Paust
    Aug 29, 08:40pm

    It would do them good. And, therefore, us.

  • Author_photo.thumb
    James Lloyd Davis
    Aug 30, 03:18pm

    Two Mexicans walk in a bar.
    They order Canadian cervezas.
    One turns to the other and said, "Why do gringos have burns on their faces the morning after a Halloween party?"
    "I don't know. Why?"
    "Bobbing for French fries."

  • Mugshotme_(3).thumb
    Mathew Paust
    Aug 30, 06:00pm

    ...cough cough...

  • Angelcity1.thumb
    Chris Okum
    Aug 30, 11:21pm

    I'm not going to patronize this site if people are making offensive remarks about Canadians. I'm leaving, off to Facebook to talk shit about JL Davis.

  • Author_photo.thumb
    James Lloyd Davis
    Aug 31, 01:21pm

    Two Canadians walk in this bar...

  • Mugshotme_(3).thumb
    Mathew Paust
    Aug 31, 04:09pm

    ...hack wheeze...

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