Forum / Terse Note from a Concerned Philanthropist

• 
  strannikov

  Mar 19, 12:38pm

  Positively dismayed that my cellphone/smartphone app for colonoscopies has not attained instant and universal acclaim, I now advocate its mandatory use for all drivers caught using their wireless phones while driving, especially when involved in automobile accidents and collisions, fatal and non-fatal.

  Obviously, any driver electing to absent his or her brain from the casual and mindless activity of driving a motor vehicle would have his or her attention focused wonderfully if he or she but had the colonoscopy app of his or her cellphone or smartphone active during automotive frolics.
  
  Concerns that a cellphone or smartphone could become inconveniently lodged in a driver’s rectum are far overblown, as most models can be safely expelled from the descending colon following a moderate dose of cod liver oil (those few models that resist such treatment can be safely removed during a routine outpatient procedure).

• Frankie Saxx

  Mar 19, 02:06pm

  I would sign that e-petition.

• 
  Marcus Speh

  Mar 24, 03:19pm

  Tender thoughts of an obsessive nature have never hurt anyone.

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