I'm not a very good critiquer (?) What you should take from me is Magic X is good. It takes a lot to get the flash freaks here to read something so long. I'm not sure there are many good critics of 'long' here. (The guy who helped me most isn't around much now.) Rarely will I provide this kind of feedback. Some people don't like it; even if they've asked. I love fantasy too - so there you have it. Good luck with this. Cheers.
Just as the story box cut off your Magic X the Wall box cut me off. So continued:
I think Magix X will be a good Novella. It begs to be an Illustra-Novella like recent Doppleganger Chronicles.
I would have liked to 'connect' more strongly to the shade. Maybe that's not realistic; but I think you think it might be.
Anyway. I enjoyed the ride. You have some style going on. Hang in there.
Larry S
Nina - I decided to paste this on your wall rather than in the 'comments' box. I liked Magic X and read the entire post. A few of my comments are generated by AutoCrit, a tool I use for repeated words, redundancy, and pacing. When you get into high style, which I would call Magic X, you might find a tool such as this useful. AutoCrit is on line and you have to pay for it but it sure helped me in useful areas. My comments follow:
I looked at Magic X down past the 'bishop's dick.'
There are many complex sentences.
I found the piece engaging; a plausible description of the physical and metaphysical nature of a shade.
I felt the style kept me at arm's length from the character.
Read in entirety Magic X is good but seems somewhat colder than perhaps intended.
There are many repeated words and I realize many of these are to create effect - but they are there.
I had no difficulty with clarity. You are very sharp in that regard.
In the short bit I read carefully there were too many
I love that you celebrate poetry and in such a beautiful well-rounded fashion. Thank you. Your service is appreciated. It makes the world a better place.
per your latest note - I like your stuff better :-)
I'm not a very good critiquer (?) What you should take from me is Magic X is good. It takes a lot to get the flash freaks here to read something so long. I'm not sure there are many good critics of 'long' here. (The guy who helped me most isn't around much now.) Rarely will I provide this kind of feedback. Some people don't like it; even if they've asked. I love fantasy too - so there you have it. Good luck with this. Cheers.
Just as the story box cut off your Magic X the Wall box cut me off. So continued:
I think Magix X will be a good Novella. It begs to be an Illustra-Novella like recent Doppleganger Chronicles.
I would have liked to 'connect' more strongly to the shade. Maybe that's not realistic; but I think you think it might be.
Anyway. I enjoyed the ride. You have some style going on. Hang in there.
Larry S
Nina - I decided to paste this on your wall rather than in the 'comments' box. I liked Magic X and read the entire post. A few of my comments are generated by AutoCrit, a tool I use for repeated words, redundancy, and pacing. When you get into high style, which I would call Magic X, you might find a tool such as this useful. AutoCrit is on line and you have to pay for it but it sure helped me in useful areas. My comments follow:
I looked at Magic X down past the 'bishop's dick.'
There are many complex sentences.
I found the piece engaging; a plausible description of the physical and metaphysical nature of a shade.
I felt the style kept me at arm's length from the character.
Read in entirety Magic X is good but seems somewhat colder than perhaps intended.
There are many repeated words and I realize many of these are to create effect - but they are there.
I had no difficulty with clarity. You are very sharp in that regard.
In the short bit I read carefully there were too many
I love that you celebrate poetry and in such a beautiful well-rounded fashion. Thank you. Your service is appreciated. It makes the world a better place.