by Simon Kearns
In need of help, he bought his first self-help book at the age of twenty-nine. The book was good, and he certainly felt he had been helped. Carefully, he underlined certain sentences and noted their page number at the front. But it wasn't enough. The second self-help book was not as satisfying as the first, so he bought another, and soon after, another. This continued for some time. One day, he realised he had developed a dependency on self-help books, and, seeking help, turned to a self-help book about defeating addiction. The book was good, and he certainly felt he had been helped. Carefully, he underlined certain sentences and noted their page number at the front. But it wasn't enough.
After some years, due to the number of self-help books he owned, he decided to build a bookshelf to hold them all. He bought a carpentry self-help book and set about constructing the unit. When finished, it reached from floor to ceiling. He loaded the shelves and, just as he was adding the final book, the whole thing came away from the wall and crushed him to death.
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Oh, I do love happy endings. *
Heh heh, Matthew.